04-16-2013, 08:51 AM | #161 |
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This is an interesting thread. I am not all that great with words I am better one on one talking.(not txting email or phone) But for me being butch I never tried to analyze myself. Being a mother & grandmother my main character trait is my protective nature. But when you meet me you know I have more masculine traits than femme. Yeah I have been mistaken for a guy plenty of times. It used to bug me but now I just chuckle or in a harmless way embarrass them. But I know they are already embarrassed but at least maybe now they will take the time with other people and pay attention to them. I love who I am and being butch is right up there with my native pride.
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04-16-2013, 08:56 AM | #162 |
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birth makes a butch a butch ~ just my personal opinion ~
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04-16-2013, 09:00 AM | #163 |
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My Pete is a butch because she says she's a butch.
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04-16-2013, 09:07 AM | #164 |
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Just throwing this in there.....
For me and only speaking for myself.The circumstance that makes me feel most like a Butch is being in the presents of Pretty Femmes.Being around the ladies really brings it out for me.
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04-16-2013, 11:10 AM | #165 |
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I was born butch! Its my energy.
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04-17-2013, 06:16 AM | #166 | ||||
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That all changed when I started contemplating my own labels. Lord there were a lot of them. I always knew that my destiny was not to eventually transition, but I was set free when I had arrived in a place where people actually used male pronouns for me. Once that gate was open I was off through like a wolf that had been caught in a pen it's whole life. I let myself become a little of that Neanderthal asshole that everyone dislikes. *Shrugs.....learning curve. What I would tell you is this. When I stopped looking for the perfect label I found myself. That perfect label, the perfect description for others, will stop you from being all of who you are. Don't waste time. There will be a moment when, for the very first time, you are able to look in the mirror and genuinely like the whole person looking back at you. I'm telling you the truth. That is the moment when you really start living. Quote:
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What I would say is that once you become more secure in yourself some of that shit won't matter anymore. There are so many things in every day life that do not need gender assignment but we force them anyway because we feel like it what we need to have to establish our own identities. What you are really talking about right there is this right?.....The refusal of a common gesture of love and tenderness, the feeling of belonging to and giving of one heart to another because it violates some ingrained belief of male and femaleness? *Blinks Quote:
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04-17-2013, 11:51 AM | #167 | |
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Heya you said:
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Thanks for the advice...I do tend to just blend butch/femme sub/dom all together |
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04-17-2013, 01:45 PM | #168 |
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I've been thinking a bit about this since I saw this topic on the front page the other day. Rare is it that I actually consider what makes me butch because like anything other aspect, it is inextricably woven into my very fiber. Butchness is simply another thread in my tapestry. When a straight female friend was talking about wanting me in her wedding, sans any prompting from me she said, "And of course you can wear a tux." So a part of who I am is my butchness that it seems my being anything but doesn't even occur to anyone else. A couple of friends' kids who are certainly old enough to know I am female refer to me as Uncle Lise on their own accord and it just makes sense to everyone even though I am not male identified. Perhaps I'm fortunate in that I've known I was butch since I was really young and my parents were open minded enough to let me be who I was. My mother knew enough to buy me the jeans with the reinforced knees and the Converse chucks with no pink on them. She did clamp a bit on the sound that I made while playing shooting games with my buddies, but that was only because I was running around the neighborhood shouting "douche douche!" (you must admit, with enough emphasis, it makes a pretty good gun noise) Everything I do is imbued with female masculinity because I am. The way I smoke a cigar, the way I arrange flowers, that I love to cook, the way I fuck. Do those things make me butch? I don't know. I just know they make me, me.
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04-17-2013, 04:58 PM | #169 | ||
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Quote:
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04-17-2013, 05:15 PM | #170 | |
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Here is one. Click on Forums on the front page and happy exploring, and welcome to the Planet. http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/foru...read.php?t=970
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04-17-2013, 06:48 PM | #171 | |
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time helps with learning about ourselves. most need to go through the labels in order to work it all out in our minds and hearts. we all are unique. you are your own butch. there's not another you in this whole wide world. keep what works, ... throw the rest back. |
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04-20-2013, 11:29 AM | #172 |
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i'm curious as to why it's about YOUR insecurities?
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04-20-2013, 03:03 PM | #173 |
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hey puddin'. i meant to bold my text so that it wouldn't all blend. psykbutch is discussing insecurities. i do have them though lol.
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04-20-2013, 03:32 PM | #174 |
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Scratch everything I previously said. Clearly what makes me butch is the fact that my bowling ball looks like an 8-ball.
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04-24-2013, 04:38 AM | #175 | |
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Ok ......some of them. One thing is certain, if you step on someone's label around here you can be sure that several someones will let you know about it. Don't sweat the small stuff in any case. Know what the real truth is? Being butch to you is whatever the hell you want it to be. Yesterday some guy called me Sir 5 times in a 4 minute conversation AFTER I stopped him and said Sir my name is Margherita. What I really wanted to say is "Listen pencil-dick, my name is "Margherita Natalia Luisa panty-wearing Wolferelli. Did you not hear me or are you just really that stupid?" I didn't say anything............I wear boxers.
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04-27-2013, 03:22 PM | #176 |
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I just got back from sawmill..its a gay community in florida that allows lesbians to come and camp every now and then.
I saw a lot of couples that you would call butch/butch couples via appearance...makes me feel like its not as rare as it seems. However, the couple who comes to mind with this...no way would I walk up to them and be all "hey, your in a butch/butch relationship?" I think they met each othewr and liked each other, and that was it...I get the feeling that they reject labels altogether..sounding more and more like the way to go..but at the same time I have pride in being butch. I guess how this all relates to what defines a butch for me....part of it for me is my admiration/love for butches. Dammit I had a thought but I got drunk Last edited by psykftm; 04-27-2013 at 03:32 PM. Reason: staying on topic :p |
04-27-2013, 04:43 PM | #177 |
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What about, rather than putting any sort of pressure on yourself to define/determine what sort of butch you are, you simply strive to get the best sense of self you can? Perhaps in doing that the butch tumblers will fall into place for you. As I said above, my butchness isn't generally something I even think about because it's simply one aspect of my existence. While I understand how labels are useful in the context of some conversations because they help delineate constructs, for the most part I'm inclined to say, "Fuck 'em."
I'm curious about something else. You've said that part of what defines butch for you is your "admiration/love for butches". By that do you mean women who present in the physical way that reads butch to you (allowing for the fact that we come in every conceivable shape, size, attire, hair style, plumage, etc), or are you also talking about that energy, in all its permutations, that is endemic to the butch nation? I ask because it's always interesting to me to find out what turns people on. And, probably, I'm nosy.
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05-03-2013, 05:56 AM | #178 | |
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Finding out what type of butch I am has been problematic for me, so I'm definitely trying to retrain my mind to not label myself...however, when I see someone who identifies as butch....it makes me so happy lol, butches who identify as butch must have some pride there, right? Lol I really don't know what I meant by my admiration of other butches is part of what makes me butch...more like a brotherhood/sense of belonging feeling? But a butch that really turns me on...will come up and shove me, and if I shove back, which I will lol, my type of hot butch is durable if not stronger than I am. When this butch shaves my head, it digs in rough so I can feel it-roughness is huge for me. Confident butches are super hot. Short hair, baggy clothes...the walk haha. Butches that pack are also a huge turn on. If it didn't freak my gf out, I might pack too. (she also does not pack. I'm lucky we are together in the first place, she likes femmes, but she did like "me".) And some of the butchness ties into bdsm stuff for me... So thanks to CheryINYC, I now have this term I can throw around for myself..."submissive butch". I mean, I'm not going to be bossed around or anything, I'm a bit of a switch anyway. I'm five foot nothing, so its hard for me to think someone would take me seriously as a dom, especially since I'm not much of an entertainer. I love dom butches though. But no degradation/shame, and they can't say "obey me" or "submit"...it would have to be more like.. jeez I donno..."you're going to relax. Stop fighting me. Now." You know, all standing over me and shit daring me to challenge it. That's one of my wrestling fantasies. Just that firm confidence. So I guess I'm saying the dynamic has to be right. My girlfriend is not into bdsm...it would kill me if we broke up over it, but the incompatibility might be a major problem. Now she's a gentle butch, but she's bigger than me, even though I'm stronger....but, she is a manger I think I'm gonna stop there; hope I actually answered your question somewhere in there lolz Last edited by psykftm; 05-03-2013 at 06:01 AM. Reason: chaos |
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08-24-2013, 05:38 PM | #179 |
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What MAKES me butch???
I was born butch I believe, honestly I do. I fit so well in my butchness it's like being "home". I have the walk, swagger, whatever else you wanna say. I'm just me and I'm butch. I also believe my "attitude" is also what makes me butch to an extent. How I carry myself.
But, I would look like whoopie goldberg in a dress and heels....lmao I can't walk in heels and I look out of place in a dress and makeup. Just don't work for me at all. LOL No offense to anyone else, butch or not, that can wear feminine clothing, and I completely understand that some jobs butches have calls for them to wear more feminine clothing. Wear what you want when you either have to or want to, the clothing doesn't make you butch......YOU MAKE YOU BUTCH!!
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08-24-2013, 07:01 PM | #180 | |
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I've seen some posts in this thread that have suggested you and your girlfriend have some subconscious interest in the "butch-femme" dance. I don't really understand that, it seems to imply that some type of power dynamic equates a butch-femme relationship :: shrug :: In any case, I think you can also drop the assumption that one of you must be "submissive." There *is* such a thing as just being a bottom, or a receiver, all times, sometimes, or once in a blue moon. It doesn't have to "mean" anything except that you like sex the way you like it. You don't need to put a label on it. Lastly, you've mentioned a couple of times that you and your girlfriend may be incompatible when it comes to BDSM - I hope you find a way to work it out, to both your satisfaction.
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