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Old 05-20-2013, 09:32 AM   #1
Bevidotcom
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Originally Posted by TheUltimateButch View Post
Been married a year and still trying to figure it out! Thanks for sharing. Glad not to be the only one trying to figure this out!
Since you are a veterinarian...how about Doctor & Mrs. ________!!
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Old 05-24-2013, 11:09 AM   #2
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I'm so happy this thread is here, just thought about this yesterday. My gf are struggling a bit right now anyway, but I had thought about what would happen if everything worked out enough for us to want to get married in the future. We are both butch...I think she would be fine with wife if only I would be. I would prefer husband, but I'm sure my gf would not. We both hate that "who wears the pants" question, we always answer we're equals, so it would have to be an equal reference too.

Gonna have to follow this thread for sure
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Old 05-24-2013, 08:37 PM   #3
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Since you are a veterinarian...how about Doctor & Mrs. ________!!
I am down with that and we are addressed that way. My problem is more about how she refers to me. Neither one of us are going to refer to me as her wife( dying just thinking about it). I am not her husband , just trying to find something that comes easily to both of us. Are you married? What do you refer to one another as?
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Old 06-23-2013, 07:34 PM   #4
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Chiming in late to this thread. We love "husbutch", as we both think it captures the essence perfectly. I actually used it with a bunch of straight friends recently and it got an overwhelmingly positive response.
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Old 06-23-2013, 09:30 PM   #5
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Chiming in late to this thread. We love "husbutch", as we both think it captures the essence perfectly. I actually used it with a bunch of straight friends recently and it got an overwhelmingly positive response.
I heard a similar term that I love...."husbian" I give marks for creativity
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Old 06-24-2013, 01:41 AM   #6
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my ex-wife is butch. She was into butch-femme and was absolutely fine with it. I wouldn't have called her "my Mrs." though. Wife, to me, is not feminine. it's just female. She saw it the same way. But neither of us bought into hetero ideas of marriage either so we were fine.

I personally loved look across the room, grinning and say "oh the loud shouty laughing dyke? Yeah. that's my wife." I loved saying "that's my wife." thrilled me too bits. saying "that's my spouse" wouldn't really have the same... impact. for me. But I know if one is transqueer in terms of sex (not female) then I can see it not fitting. absolutely.

I wouldn't be able to call someone husbutch. It makes me cringe a bit. It just doesn't sound right to my ears, it sounds clunky and awkward. I'm sure to some couples it's great, but to me it's like writing "wimmyn" - constructed and uncomfortable. I'm just not one for it. But then I don't say "oh my femme friends..." or "see that butch over there?"

I think I just spent a long time in London where although people ID, it's just not called up much. It just kind of is. So all the qualifiers seems really... over used? to my ear. it's sounds like putting "gay" in front of everything. I'm taking my gay partner to see my gay friends and we're going to to a gay BBQ to eat some gay meat.

I prefer saying "me and the awesome fuck puppet are headed out with some mates to shove some nutrients in our talky holes. You in?" people know who I am and my friends genders and sexuality is irrelevant. No one's gender or sexuality is needed in that sentence.

But I know lots of people might find that verbiage awkward. Viva la difference...

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Old 06-24-2013, 05:33 AM   #7
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I wouldn't be able to call someone husbutch. It makes me cringe a bit. It just doesn't sound right to my ears, it sounds clunky and awkward. I'm sure to some couples it's great, but to me it's like writing "wimmyn" - constructed and uncomfortable. I'm just not one for it. But then I don't say "oh my femme friends..." or "see that butch over there?"
Husbutch is very old school. It made me smile when I saw it because I haven't heard it in a while. Like you, though, it has always sounded clunky, just like wimmin has felt awkward. Perfecta adjectives for my experience, as well.

You helped me see wife in a different way...I did always think of it as "woman", rather than "female". Useful. Thanks!
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