Body Image Issues

[Andrew, Jr.]

My self-esteem issues come from being rejected by my parents, esp. my mother, and for so long. Sure, I admit I am a heavy guy and would love to be thin. I cannot buy clothes off the rack. I have to buy my clothes at Big & Tall Stores or online. I get the looks, and stares. I also get the finger pointing. Society sucks when it comes to issues like this. It is not realistic.

[Rockinonahigh]

When I look at the many picture are around my house and see how I looked at 165..tight,trim and buff and then see myself in the mirror at 255,I just think holy shit how did u get this way?To anser the question its from the accient and meds mostly that truned me into this cause I had no choice to be anything but less active because of the injuries,then the antiinfalamtory meds that had steroids in it shure didnt help.Now in off most meds except the ones I need wich are steroid fee..so says the pharmacy.The doc says its an age realted thing with matabolism( say horse poop on that) tho I have to somewhat agree cause Idont have the energy I did a fue years ago,tho I can still step lively and get it done just I need to know when to give it a rest for a bit.Im still dealing with some injury related issues but are finding ways to geta around them.Now I make me a priorty everyday buy watching what I eat,do my near daily work outs as well as do my best to keep a good attitude.I do remember when I weighed 289 ayear ago so I know im gonna get back to 200 or less,its just a matter of keeping this up.
What hurts me is when I am out and sooner or later someone gives me the look like dam dont u care about how u look,or u r a slob..or maybe its my imigination about that.

[Soft*Silver]

I have prided myself on having a healthy body image...and even now, I feel good about myself but, I saw photos tonight of me at the family Easter dinner...and I can tell I gained weight. Its from the steroids I am taking for my spinal disease. I guess I am more shocked over the fact that I didnt see myself gaining this weight. I didnt notice it. I just have to diet now to get it under control and get back where I was. I did NOT like the fullness of my face. But that just means no shakes and no fast food for awhile...

[adorable]

It has never mattered how skinny I was or how fat. I've always thought I was fat. I look at pictures of when I was really skinny and think I'd like to get back there. But if I remember when I actually WAS there, I wasn't happy either. I was paranoid about being too fat. A friend of mine says that what she does when she is with someone is just strips naked in front of them and says "This is what it is." LOL. That is how she gets over it.

I'm not sure if anyone else feels this way but for me it was much more pronounced when I was with men. I felt like I was competing in a way and held to a much higher standard. With women, that was gone - until I got cheated on by my ex with someone who of course was a size 00 - that of course freaked me out. The pressure though to be perfect just hasn't been there in the same way with my relationships with women.

I feel the same pressure with TGs as I did with men. It's almost suffocating. The standard that I feel held to is playboy bunnies and models. On my best day in complete darkness - I won't be mistaken for either.....

My experience has been that they make an awful lot of comments like "Oh, she's hot." The minute I hear that I tense up. Then my gears start turning. I want to run and hide. Women may do that - I just haven't met one that talks that way or that often about it. What they seem to want and what I am are different. My mind can't compute it. No matter how I try to do the math.

If the idea is to find someone who loves you for you - lol - but you are not the ideal woman for them - how can you win? I know I'm insecure (ya think?) but it does seem important for them to say it all the time. I don't understand why - the only purpose it seems to serve is to make me feel bad about myself. I am very aware I guess of how people feel and wouldn't say things that might make them feel bad. If you care about someone you should try to build them up right?? I honestly don't have an answer. I do understand what you mean though.

[Mrs. Strutt]

Thank you all so much for your posts...it is good to know I'm not alone in this.

I am a hair stylist, in an industry that promotes a lot of this "image." However, I deal almost exclusively with curly hair and teach women how to love, take care of and embrace their natural curls in a society that values bleached blonde, pin-straight, flat-ironed tresses as the beauty standard.

It's ironic to me that I can educate and carry this message with a vengeance, yet can't ignore the same societal standards about weight when it comes to myself.

[Miss Scarlett]

I am also at war with body image issues. At the moment I am in the lead. Having lost over 130 lbs in the last 1.5 years I still see myself as the 342.5 lb woman I was, though not as often. But she will always be there lurking in the shadows waiting to pounce whenever I am vulnerable.

By far I am no a fan of Jessica Simpson but her show "The Price of Beauty" is worth watching. Whatever her reason for doing the show, it is very interesting to see what is considered beautiful/sexy in other cultures and what the women are willing to do to achieve that ideal.

http://www.vh1.com/shows/jessica_sim...y/series.jhtml

[Ldyluck88]

In the past 2 yrs. I have gained 25 lbs which is alot for this small framed body of mine. I don't like the body image I see when I look in the mirror, but I know in time, it will change. I lost my home, job, etc. so depression and other life's challenges have affected me emotionally and physically. The good thing is I can make a change little by little with each new day! I may be overweight a tad, but I have not lost my sense of humor!! haha Life is good!!

[Sachita]

I thought this book rang true:

http://www.oprah.com/health/An-Excer...Food-And-God/1

it really makes you think. I've struggled all my life and now that I'm older I wonder why I do the things I do. My diet, for the most part is good. I eat organic and very little meat. For me the struggle is always my spiritual well being and happiness. When I'm happy, at peace then I feel lighter and free.

It's taken me 51 years to start to really figure this out. When I'm sad, depress, unfulfilled I internalize my fears and sadness. I get sick, fat and its an ongoing struggle. Perhaps I'll find a way to escape it or at least be at peace with myself.

anyhow, at least read the link. I think you'll find things in it that will surprise you. It was definitely a shake for me.

[Miss Scarlett]

Originally Posted by Mrs. Strutt

Thank you all so much for your posts...it is good to know I'm not alone in this.

I am a hair stylist, in an industry that promotes a lot of this "image." However, I deal almost exclusively with curly hair and teach women how to love, take care of and embrace their natural curls in a society that values bleached blonde, pin-straight, flat-ironed tresses as the beauty standard.

It's ironic to me that I can educate and carry this message with a vengeance, yet can't ignore the same societal standards about weight when it comes to myself.

How did I miss this post???

Oh how I wish you worked in NC! I have naturally curly hair and it is extremely difficult to find a stylist who knows how to work with it. I finally found one and she did a magnificent job...but I work in another town now and they don't have weekend or late hours. I hesitate to have anyone else touch my hair since Erin does such a wonderful job. So my hair is getting longer and I won't have it cut until I can take the time from work and money because I pay nearly $90(including tip and parking). Every 6 weeks this gets expensive. It took the talent of this stylist to get me to embrace my curls after fighting them for 47 years. She helped me realize that I have a huge advantage over folks with straight hair that lacks body. I can do anything with mine - in the same week I can have glorious, springy curls, soft waves or use the iron and wear it sleek and straight.

Back in the 80s when I was in therapy for my Bulimarexia my therapist was far from thin. Actually she would be considered morbidly obese. At our first meeting she asked me if I had a problem with her size and my answer was no...and I meant it. Her size was never an issue for me even though her body type was how I perceived mine. We never talked about it again.