FTM place to vent and talk

[Trev]

Originally Posted by Nic

Feel a little odd posting about my life in a room full of strangers so to speak. But I've been reading a bit about the things you all share and I don't think it's strangers so much as people I just haven't met yet.

I transitioned when I was in my mid 20's, before acceptance had come as far as it has which is farther than I could ever imagined. My wife of 21 years died just over 4 years ago and I haven't dated more than half a dozen times since then. It's a little awkward for me right now because I've met a femme who's held my interest for several months. We met at Pride last May and I thought she had some idea that I fell on the queer spectrum somewhere but recently a friend asked me what evidence I had of that and I'm no face to face with the fact that she might not read me as trans because I've been lucky enough to always present and pass as biomale. My wife knew me before and during my transition so no explaining necessary. I've never had to explain to a woman I wanted to date that I'm trans. I don't even know how to begin the conversation. It seems stupid at my age to wonder how to start a conversation about anything. Here I am though and I need to discuss it with her soon. She's still on the mend from a hard breakup about a year or more ago and it took some patience and some conversation before she'd agreed to go out with me. We've had 3 dates so far and I made sure they were all low-key and completely casual so that she wouldn't feel things were moving too fast. She's an amazing woman and I want to do something more special when we see one another next but I don't think I can go any farther until I clear up this one issue. I'm going to tell her of course but what's the opening line? "Hey, did you know I'm trans" sounds a little blunt. Anyone got 2 cents to chip in?

Try to put yourself in her spot when you feel like it's time to have that conversation with her. Ask yourself what you would want to hear. You obviously want to continue seeing this lady, you will find the answers within yourself. You've described her as an amazing woman. I think that will help you find some of your answers. Good luck, Nic. Like Corkey said, be yourself.

[Bad_boi]

Why the hell can't we have a safe and efficient T delivery system that isn't a shot.

[alexri]

Hey all... well, it's not much, but I tried to make my life a little more "one."

I had a separate Facebook account for my trans* self (for all my contacts/support groups/pages I was following) from my regular "real" person account. I had done this while I was exploring/examining myself, trying to figure out what I wanted to do now that I had this realization about myself. I finally merged the accounts together into one, moving my trans* community over to the main Facebook account.

Unfortunately in the process I lost a lot of people. Facebook thought I was a scammer trying to friend all these people at once.

I know it's not that huge of a deal; it's just having it all out in the open now, just trying to live/be as one, as a true self.

[Linus]

Originally Posted by Bad_boi

Why the hell can't we have a safe and efficient T delivery system that isn't a shot.

Hear! Hear! I self-administer my shots because of my travel schedule. And my fear of shots is the same or worse when I first started. That said, I know there are some new delivery methods for T being researched. One that I remember from a few years ago was the pellet method (subdermal/under skin). While this provided a long term (a year or two worth) from a simple day surgery procedure the cost and the fact that it wasn't covered by health care has probably prevented its commonplace usage.

[Bad_boi]

Random boners are now a thing. Fun but annoying.

[Nic]

Been a while since I've been online. Thanks to everyone who sent opinions and advice.

Update:
The femme I've been interested in is still on the horizon. She's started to be pretty important to me over the last 4 weeks and given me 100 more reasons to think well of her. Been trying to give her a few reasons to think well of me also. (Fingers crossed for success)

She likes Indian food so I took her to a place I like. We had a great time. Went for coffee afterward and sat downtown to people watch. Took her home and realized I hadn't said anything because we'd been having such a good time. So I told her before I got out of the car to walk her to her door. I'm thinking, "Ridiculous to have this discussion in the car" but she's easy to talk to so I just went for it. Turns out she knew I was Trans without me telling her. Put it together based on some pretty subtle clues. She says she didn't say anything because she thought the story was mine to tell if I wanted to and not hers to pursue without invitation. The conversation that followed was pretty amazing. I haven't connected with someone like this since my wife died.

[Maverick]

I think my 16 year relationship is ending soon because I am a transman. She just can't deal with it. I've been very hopeful that we could work it out and come to some compromise point or figure out a way for us to both be happy but I now believe that all hope is lost. Feeling very sad today. :'-(((

Maverick

[DMW]

Sorry Maverick. That is rough.

I will share a bit.
In regards to a past relationship that i had.
(a woman that has never been to the bf sites.)
What helped me...
I had to acknowledge, accept and appreciate that, like me, she had her evolution, as well. (I do believe that all relationships and people do.)
I was part of that process. And honestly, I am glad that she went on to be with a biomale. It is what was right for her. And also, kept her from going to another butch or transman.

She loved me and both our hearts broke.

It is not easy to partner with a transmen.

I wish the best for both of you.