What TO DO in a relationship.....

[Nic]

My wife and I used to hold hands when we were mad at each other. There was a time or two that I thought she was only holding my hand to keep herself from slapping me, so maybe it was worth the effort in the end. Holding hands when you argue makes it hard to disconnect from each another and it makes it hard to escalate too. We took space when we needed it but I swear holding hands when you're mad is the secret to successful marriage.

[deathbypoem]

Originally Posted by Nic

My wife and I used to hold hands when we were mad at each other. There was a time or two that I thought she was only holding my hand to keep herself from slapping me, so maybe it was worth the effort in the end. Holding hands when you argue makes it hard to disconnect from each another and it makes it hard to escalate too. We took space when we needed it but I swear holding hands when you're mad is the secret to successful marriage.

So very true. Actually, I read something about this in a magazine recently. Love this idea. It works.

[peachy]

Originally Posted by deathbypoem

So very true. Actually, I read something about this in a magazine recently. Love this idea. It works.

Originally Posted by Nic

My wife and I used to hold hands when we were mad at each other. There was a time or two that I thought she was only holding my hand to keep herself from slapping me, so maybe it was worth the effort in the end. Holding hands when you argue makes it hard to disconnect from each another and it makes it hard to escalate too. We took space when we needed it but I swear holding hands when you're mad is the secret to successful marriage.

That's sweet. I love that. I used to argue a lot with my ex husband. One day when we were both really mad with each other I just slapped him on the backside and he slapped me back on mine. It's impossible to stay angry with someone when you have smacked each other on the bum. It's too ridiculous. Plus it releases the pent up frustration. Don't think that would be for everyone but it worked for us.

We're both quite hot headed and often when we argue now and it gets heated and shouting we just stop and hug and say sorry. Years ago it might be 2 days before it would get to making up hug but now it's usually within about a minute. That's something that has come with knowing each other a long time and knowing we're as bad as each other and that we care about each other regardless of emotional outbursts.