Stone Butches

[Jhenay]

Certain labels I like, certain ones I don't. And certain ones just seem necessary at certain times to avoid confusion.

I do identify as Stone Femme. I may move to the edges of that boundary depending on who I'm with, but when I'm searching....dating sites, etc... I say I'm looking for a stone butch.

I have had to explain what that meant to me, because I would keep getting soft butch types writing to me who had never heard the term stone butch. But of course...they have heard the term "pillow princess". Sigh... Just because I prefer not to do a certain thing, doesn't mean I have nothing of value to give. But that instantly lets me know that is not a stone butch, because hys viewpoint would be totally different because of hys preferences.

It's amazing to me how many people feel they need to put down Stone Femme as being "selfish", or "not really lesbian". But the simple facts are, I'm a very giving person, ....and I'm not going to find who I'm looking for by looking for a male.

[fatallyblonde]

this femme heart beats for stone butches.

thank you so much to all the stone butches who shared insight into their many varied experiences here. <3

Originally Posted by Jhenay

It's amazing to me how many people feel they need to put down Stone Femme as being "selfish", or "not really lesbian". But the simple facts are, I'm a very giving person, ....and I'm not going to find who I'm looking for by looking for a male.

indeed... as if I am not giving immensely in allowing my partner to be exactly who they are with me...
... as if opening my legs and giving access to my body, to its depths and responsiveness, its beauty, of allowing it to be accessed by my partner in the way they desire is not generous.
any stone femme knows... men CANNOT give us what we need and want... and men are NOT what we desire. outsiders can judge us based only on what they observe with their detachment from that... but the can never FEEL what we feel...
when you feel it... you know... and you know a stone butch is the only one that will do...

[Martina]

Originally Posted by fatallyblonde

t.. men CANNOT give us what we need and want... and men are NOT what we desire. outsiders can judge us based only on what they observe with their detachment from that... but the can never FEEL what we feel...
.

There are bisexual stone femmes. There are stone femmes who ID as transsensual or some version of that. So there are stone femmes who desire men.

Re the second comment, how do you know what other people feel?

[C0LLETTE]

Originally Posted by Martina

There are bisexual stone femmes. There are stone femmes who ID as transsensual or some version of that. So there are stone femmes who desire men.

Re the second comment, how do you know what other people feel?

So, for me, there it is: "transsensual or some version of that". What does that mean and, perhaps more important, what are the versions of it?. There are billions of people on this planet. Something tells me there are billions of versions of everything... and when it comes to sex, billions of things that get us off. Then, if you consider the role of the mind, maybe "billions" isn't nearly big enough.

[Martina]

Originally Posted by C0LLETTE

So, for me, there it is: "transsensual or some version of that". What does that mean and, perhaps more important, what are the versions of it?

A transensual femme is primarily attracted to transmen. By versions, I meant other names. I am sure there are other ways some femmes ID to indicate their sexual orientation towards transmen. SOFFA used to be rather widely used. I don't have more to add.

[C0LLETTE]

We can label subset ourselves all the way down till we can finally say there is no one else on the planet that exactly fits this label except me. But why? Even Mendel wanted some sort of outcome from all that segregating and assorting.

[Martina]

Originally Posted by C0LLETTE

We can label subset ourselves all the way down till we can finally say there is no one else on the planet that exactly fits this label except me. But why? Even Mendel wanted some sort of outcome from all that segregating and assorting.

I don't understand how that is a response to either of my posts. Can you explain?

Which ID are you taking issue with and why? These are ID's in common currency. Stone and transensual. I really don't follow your point.

[morningstar55]

wow its been a long time since i been in here.. heh ....
will read some more....

[fatallyblonde]

I feel like the context makes it pretty clear who I'm referring to, actually. I think people are intelligent enough to extrapolate from context without a zillion caveats and qualifications.

[RockOn]

Excellent post and extremely well-stated!

[Martina]

Originally Posted by fatallyblonde

I feel like the context makes it pretty clear who I'm referring to, actually. I think people are intelligent enough to extrapolate from context without a zillion caveats and qualifications.

You spoke for all stone femmes and said something like we don't desire men. My point was that some stone femmes do. Since then I haven't understood what the heck either you or Collette have been talking about.

[C0LLETTE]

I've tried to express my thoughts as best I can. Seems I've fallen short and for that I apologise. Thank you for your attention but I believe I've exhausted my abilities. Maybe next time. Thank you again.