The Booty Call.

Sweet Bliss · 10-24-2013, 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JAGG

I should have added, I was always honest and up front from day one with everyone I dated. I wanted nothing long term I just wanted to have fun. If they agreed and were willing then we could go from there. I would not lead someone on in any way. And I would not purposely hurt someone or ever play with someones feelings.

Maybe you used up all your booty cards.... semper fi babe. I'm not a fan of the " I just want to have fun" set.

I always still felt empty, alone, un cared for, and used. I felt a part of me die in the exchange. Didn't matter if I agreed to the terms of engagement. I prefer a relationship, even if short lived.

I realized long ago that I don't see sex with another person as just a way to let off tension or steam. I need a soul connection.

Nat · 10-24-2013, 08:58 PM

I actually feel soul-connection with people whether or not sex is involved. Sometimes it's short-lived, sometimes it's life-long or longer. But sometimes it's nice to just have a good romp and not feel all that. And I sort of hate fun - sex isn't "for fun" to me. (I always think of water skiers when I think of doing things "for fun.")

It's just a hunger and a fire.

Sweet Bliss · 10-24-2013, 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nat

I actually feel soul-connection with people whether or not sex is involved. Sometimes it's short-lived, sometimes it's life-long or longer. But sometimes it's nice to just have a good romp and not feel all that. And I sort of hate fun - sex isn't "for fun" to me. (I always think of water skiers when I think of doing things "for fun.")

It's just a hunger and a fire.

That's what I am trying to say, thank you Nat, I just want to have fun means let's go camping to me, not "let's get busy". Lol, I sound like I got offers, lol,

JAGG · 10-25-2013, 06:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweet Bliss

Maybe you used up all your booty cards.... semper fi babe. I'm not a fan of the " I just want to have fun" set.

I always still felt empty, alone, un cared for, and used. I felt a part of me die in the exchange. Didn't matter if I agreed to the terms of engagement. I prefer a relationship, even if short lived.

I realized long ago that I don't see sex with another person as just a way to let off tension or steam. I need a soul connection.

Your right the connection would be missing. I am sure it would just leave me feeling empty and lonely.

Sweet Bliss · 10-25-2013, 11:20 AM

Well, maybe you could hold an open house, give a seminar on all the benefits of being your lover. Maybe Unka Jo could help you make a power point presentation for the ladies.

There are several power Femmes here, maybe they can offer some tips?

Perhaps you need to have more parties at your place? Show off those BBQ skills? Flex your griller muscles? Lol, that is the best part of nursing a beer, watching muscles!

How about a slumber party? Sponsor one of those lingerie home parties, serve wine etc., tell your butch friends to bring their checkbooks and each femme to bring an available femme friend.

Just some ideas to get you started.

Who loves ya!? Aunty Bliss !!!!

Amber2010 · 10-25-2013, 01:04 PM

I have done both.. One thing I did learn from the "Booty" call is to communicate right from the start and don't make it something you have established as a weekly/monthly thing with this person because the booty call can end up to something more to one or both people were looking for. This did happen to me where I developed strong feelings again for this person and when this person broke it off for good I realized it became more then what it started out to be for me.

Kobi · 10-25-2013, 02:13 PM

I have only done the booty call thing once in my life. I didn't care for it.

Recreational/casual sex works for some people. It doesn't work for me. I have never had the desire to be a sex toy or tool for another's gratification. Doing so made me feel cheap, used, and just awful about both me and them.

For me, it is kind of like being hungry and settling for fast food when you really crave a fine dining experience.

peachy · 11-03-2013, 04:25 AM

I have had my eyes peeled for the right booty bud for a while and no luck yet. I used to dream about finding the one, and a while back I really thought I had done, but everything changes, I have discovered. Maybe the One I was looking for isn't in one person, maybe the one is more ethereal, like a melody, and there are many violins taking turns as the lead. I am getting less sentimental as time goes on and I value honesty more than romance these days. An honest booty buddy who likes and respects me and on those days when it suits us both...why not...

Nat · 11-03-2013, 06:35 PM

I don't mind feeling a little cheap sometimes myself, but I think it really depends on the people involved whether either party goes home feeling cheap or used. I've been told by more than one past person (not on this site) that I made them feel used for sex even when my heart *was* engaged (oops) - so I guess feeling cheap isn't reserved just for booty calls either.

imperfect_cupcake · 03-23-2014, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweet Bliss

Maybe you used up all your booty cards.... semper fi babe. I'm not a fan of the " I just want to have fun" set.

I always still felt empty, alone, un cared for, and used. I felt a part of me die in the exchange. Didn't matter if I agreed to the terms of engagement. I prefer a relationship, even if short lived.

I realized long ago that I don't see sex with another person as just a way to let off tension or steam. I need a soul connection.

See that's where I differ from most lezbonics. I cannot, cannot, cannot do the sort term relationship soul connection thing. It leaves me ripped up and wibbly and full of drrrrraaaaama.

Lots of people can do the casually in love thing... And by that I mean the short term soulful connection... I can't.

So booty calls are great. I care about the person in a friendship type way, but not in a romantic way. There is a connection in a friendly way, but not in a stare into my eeeeeeyyyyyeeeeeezzzzzz way.

It doesn't feel empty to me at all. And I don't feel I use anyone. I give just as much pleasure as I take. There is no using going on. We are sharing lust, happiness, and sex. And having a laugh me breckfast in the morning and then they go home.

I can't do casual romance. It hurts. And too many lezbeanz I know require it for their sex sessions. To me it feels like being used. Probably because I don't let anyone in that far and when I do, I fucking bloody well mean it. And when I mean it, I mean it to stay.

So I don't do that unless I know that we've already had great sex, we both have common goals, we both feel like we deeply get each other, she feels like my friend, there s lots of laughter and banter, we really bounce off each other. *then* I will make a romantic connection.

I have sex with people before I date them, preferably.

So booty calls, for me, are fun possibilities that can either be just sex, or if there's enough chemistry and friendship that grows out of it, and I learn to trust them, then something good.

But I don't do casual romance. That's like stapling my own hand to my face and eating through it. Just like some people can't do casual sex.

10-24-2013, 08:58 PM	#2
Nat Senior Member How Do You Identify?: bigender (DID System) Preferred Pronoun?: he/him or alter-specific Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Central TX Posts: 3,537 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,047 Thanked 13,963 Times in 2,589 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	I actually feel soul-connection with people whether or not sex is involved. Sometimes it's short-lived, sometimes it's life-long or longer. But sometimes it's nice to just have a good romp and not feel all that. And I sort of hate fun - sex isn't "for fun" to me. (I always think of water skiers when I think of doing things "for fun.") It's just a hunger and a fire. __________________ I'm a fountain of blood. In the shape of a girl. - Bjork What is to give light must endure burning. -Viktor Frankl

11-03-2013, 04:25 AM	#8
peachy Member How Do You Identify?: Me Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Here Posts: 109 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 492 Thanked 395 Times in 90 Posts Rep Power: 5513870	I have had my eyes peeled for the right booty bud for a while and no luck yet. I used to dream about finding the one, and a while back I really thought I had done, but everything changes, I have discovered. Maybe the One I was looking for isn't in one person, maybe the one is more ethereal, like a melody, and there are many violins taking turns as the lead. I am getting less sentimental as time goes on and I value honesty more than romance these days. An honest booty buddy who likes and respects me and on those days when it suits us both...why not... __________________ life's a peach Caution: contains hard stone

11-03-2013, 06:35 PM	#9
Nat Senior Member How Do You Identify?: bigender (DID System) Preferred Pronoun?: he/him or alter-specific Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Central TX Posts: 3,537 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,047 Thanked 13,963 Times in 2,589 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	I don't mind feeling a little cheap sometimes myself, but I think it really depends on the people involved whether either party goes home feeling cheap or used. I've been told by more than one past person (not on this site) that I made them feel used for sex even when my heart was engaged (oops) - so I guess feeling cheap isn't reserved just for booty calls either. __________________ I'm a fountain of blood. In the shape of a girl. - Bjork What is to give light must endure burning. -Viktor Frankl

10-25-2013, 11:20 AM	#5
Sweet Bliss Senior Member How Do You Identify?: I Am Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: solo Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: the Beach, Pacific side Posts: 4,160 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,354 Thanked 7,268 Times in 2,159 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Well, maybe you could hold an open house, give a seminar on all the benefits of being your lover. Maybe Unka Jo could help you make a power point presentation for the ladies. There are several power Femmes here, maybe they can offer some tips? Perhaps you need to have more parties at your place? Show off those BBQ skills? Flex your griller muscles? Lol, that is the best part of nursing a beer, watching muscles! How about a slumber party? Sponsor one of those lingerie home parties, serve wine etc., tell your butch friends to bring their checkbooks and each femme to bring an available femme friend. Just some ideas to get you started. Who loves ya!? Aunty Bliss !!!!

10-25-2013, 01:04 PM	#6
Amber2010 Member How Do You Identify?: Happy, Crazy, Bubbly, Funny, Strong, Outgoing, Friendly Preferred Pronoun?: Femme Relationship Status: Complicated Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Florida Posts: 200 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 920 Thanked 594 Times in 154 Posts Rep Power: 3787185	I have done both.. One thing I did learn from the "Booty" call is to communicate right from the start and don't make it something you have established as a weekly/monthly thing with this person because the booty call can end up to something more to one or both people were looking for. This did happen to me where I developed strong feelings again for this person and when this person broke it off for good I realized it became more then what it started out to be for me.

10-25-2013, 02:13 PM	#7
Kobi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status: Happy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic. Posts: 9,234 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,840 Thanked 34,617 Times in 7,640 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	I have only done the booty call thing once in my life. I didn't care for it. Recreational/casual sex works for some people. It doesn't work for me. I have never had the desire to be a sex toy or tool for another's gratification. Doing so made me feel cheap, used, and just awful about both me and them. For me, it is kind of like being hungry and settling for fast food when you really crave a fine dining experience.