Changing last names

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

Dee, help me understand...total sincerity here. Explain how you being a submissive, deferring to your Sir/Syr 24/7 is not more deferential than simply taking a person's name? I mean, that IS the dynamic, no? You submit (defer), to her.

Of course, I see nothing wrong with your relationship/dynamic, I am just trying to understand why you would see taking your Syr/Sir's name (if you married) as fitting in with being a "misogynistic tradition" (and therefore problematic), when your daily dynamic includes your deferring to her?

Do you equate a femme taking the butches name as being deferential to that butch?

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by girl_dee

Do you equate a femme taking the butches name as being deferential to that butch?

Not at all. That is what I assumed that was what you were saying. Or perhaps you only see it that way in terms of biological males? I thought you were saying this is why you did not take your ex-husband's name? Or perhaps I didn't understand your post?

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

Not at all. That is what I assumed that was what you were saying. Or perhaps you only see it that way in terms of biological males? I thought you were saying this is why you did not take your ex-husband's name? Or perhaps I didn't understand your post?

i am an individual. i've felt this way no matter what the relationship, even in my Master/slave relationship, even more so.

For *me*, changing my name feels like i am giving up who i am, and i am not willing to do that.

i love how some see this ritual, i just do not feel that way.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by girl_dee

i am an individual. i've felt this way no matter what the relationship, even in my Master/slave relationship, even more so.

For *me*, changing my name feels like i am giving up who i am, and i am not willing to do that.

i love how some see this ritual, i just do not feel that way.

Thank you for explaining. :-)