Changing last names

[MsTinkerbelly]

Originally Posted by IslandScout

So are you saying that's a good thing or a bad thing? Are you proud and happy that it's that way? Or just okay with it? Or not so happy, maybe resigned to it, because "that's the way it's always been," which seems to be your point?

To "ape" something has negative connotations, so that's why I'm asking.

I've been thinking about your questions all day, and i'll try to be clear in my answers.

I'm not certain that it is a good or bad thing to to enjoy the status quo...certainly if there is harm being done by the continuing of "tradition" then it should be looked at and modified where necessary. In *my* opinion no one is being harmed by changing their names unless somehow forced into doing so. I personally love having the same last name as my wife, i love the feeling of "us" that it gives me.

You know, several people have stated that they wouldn't be with someone that would change their name or ask for their partner/spouse to change theirs...i personally wouldn't be with someone that wouldn't

To each his/her own.

As far as the "aping" i referenced, please filter with whatever word you prefer for mimic or what have you. I'm not going to get into a pissing match about negative sounding words.

[Ginger]

Originally Posted by MsTinkerbelly

As far as the "aping" i referenced, please filter with whatever word you prefer for mimic or what have you. I'm not going to get into a pissing match about negative sounding words.

That wouldn't be pretty, you and me in a pissing match

[Tony]

I’ve read through most of this thread. A lot to keep up with. There’s a lot going on here for a lot of people. Thought I’d add MY FEELINGS ONLY. It was mentioned by someone in an earlier post, and I’m paraphrasing here, that it was too bad or they wondered what a cis man thought about all this. I have lived as a straight man for more than 2/3rds of my life. A completely stealth life up until joining this sight about 2 years ago. Which is to also say I really had not had any connection with and very little knowledge of the LGBT community. I have learned a lot here, and have been grateful for that. But I did have 2 marriages and 2 divorces. The subject of either woman taking my last name or not was never discussed; it was just assumed. And to be truthful, I never thought about this subject until seeing this thread. Now it concerns me and affects me. Another thing I am grateful to this site for is the woman who holds my heart and consumes my soul. I asked her what her views and feelings about this name change issue were. Because I wanted to know and because for me, I always expected and assumed whoever I married again would take my name without there even being a discussion about it. She is a Beautiful Latina and explained about the women having a hyphenated name of her maiden name-husband’ name. Then she explained about some regions it would be “Beautiful Latina (Husband’s name) de (Father’s last name).
So I posed the question to her, that in the event we ever strolled down the aisle, what would her preference be? She said she would like the example shown. Now, normally, being the shallow bastard that I am, and in a previous life, I would not be open to this at all. You know, at least my name should be the last one. But, as I said, she does hold my heart. If that is what she wants, and it would make her happy, I would have absolutely no problem with it. I believe in the institution of marriage, the commitment of it, and for me her happiness is paramount to fulfilling those commitments. I do have to add, that she has opened my mind and my heart to many things and attitude adjustments. Another reason I love her.
Again, these are my views only. I do believe that everyone has a legitimate view and feeling about this. In the end, it is all about the choices that work for us, individually.