The Loft: Butches and Femmes in their 40s, 50s and over.

Apocalipstic · 11-20-2009, 02:38 PM

Seriously though, so many of my friends have always been younger but I am pretty settled now and don't party like I once did. I do feel very old in some ways. My immediate circle of friends is changing radically.

I find myself more and more wanting to be home in front of the fireplace with my honey and our dogs and kitties, I never imagined I would reach an age where I would rather eat dirt than go out. The only time I have more than 2 cocktails is at family stuff...and I consider that medicinal...ha.

Last weekend, we actually went to a bar with a friend, and as soon as the crowd lumbered in, we went home. It was 9:30. Yep. There used to be a time when I was at the bar almost every night...though who can afford that and a house now?

Anyone else see a change in things you enjoy and friendships as you age?

Kimbo · 11-20-2009, 09:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

Seriously though, so many of my friends have always been younger but I am pretty settled now and don't party like I once did. I do feel very old in some ways. My immediate circle of friends is changing radically.

I find myself more and more wanting to be home in front of the fireplace with my honey and our dogs and kitties, I never imagined I would reach an age where I would rather eat dirt than go out. The only time I have more than 2 cocktails is at family stuff...and I consider that medicinal...ha.

Last weekend, we actually went to a bar with a friend, and as soon as the crowd lumbered in, we went home. It was 9:30. Yep. There used to be a time when I was at the bar almost every night...though who can afford that and a house now?

Anyone else see a change in things you enjoy and friendships as you age?

Many many changes, things I notice are about the same as yours. Staying up til midnight is a late night, and I cracked up when I visited my best friend of 30 years recently and he said "no drinking on a work night".

I really enjoy staying home. Now the big change for me is to move, had the economy not tanked I would of done it by now. My bones need warmth and sun...the cold, damp Seattle winters have run their course with me.

I'm sure I'll be back with more but right now I've gotta take a nap..hehe

Lady Jewel · 11-20-2009, 09:59 PM

Hey all

I am 48 and would not change all the years of experience to be young again for all the money in the world. I am in place where I know who I am, where I am going and really like myself.

Jewel

HumV4me · 11-20-2009, 10:06 PM

~~HEY~~ 41, here. And a Grandmother... I prefer it as **G-Ma**.

And I'm just waiting to get over to whole "Hang on to your youth" thing so I can just stop dying the grey and cut the color right outa my hair... yes... I'm go'na to cut that color right outa my hair.

LOL

I find myself focused on taking care of the parents now... the role has totally flipped... I'm the caretaker now. CRAZY! I would never had imagined such a thing happening.

I do good getting 3 or 4 events a ~~YEAR~~ now with all the ((grown up)) things I have to do.

Diva · 11-20-2009, 10:50 PM

I'll be 57 my next birthday (Feb).....that sounds so surreal to me! lol I don't FEEL 57......I don't feel as though I LOOK 57.....I certainly don't ACT 57!!

That being said, I DO find that I am increasingly more impatient with people who act the fool. If You're cranky, mean to people, shit~stirrers or passive~aggressive, I really don't have time for that.

There's a part of me that is really looking forward to being a grandmother, but I'm not telling my daughter that! lol And I'm not having the "Grandma/Granny/MeeMaw/Nana" stuff.....I'm going to teach them something unusual....like "Diva". Yes....it has served me well for many years.....it might as well continue on.....

Kimbo · 11-21-2009, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diva

That being said, I DO find that I am increasingly more impatient with people who act the fool. If You're cranky, mean to people, shit~stirrers or passive~aggressive, I really don't have time for that.

Ya know this is so very true -- I have no patients for fucking games, I'm to damn old. If a person can't deal with issues head on then fuck 'em, it's juvenile and energy wasting.

I became a grand kinda person/parent last year when my son married a woman who has a child. He is 16, I think he's to old for us to bond...and he just calls me Kim which is alright with me.

Happy weekend Lofters...

I am fortunate to be spending the day with many others from my B-F family -- I feel some trouble coming on.

AtlantaButch824 · 07-28-2010, 11:25 AM

I am just out of a 10.5 yr relationship. I left all my friends and family in southwest ga to move to Atlanta. We had no social life and it sucks trying to make new friends. I cancelled 4 dating site memberships because I was paying. So many head games and that was the ones that would respond to an instant message. I just want to go out and meet new friends.

AtlantaButch824 · 07-28-2010, 11:27 AM

this is the 3rd time I tried to reply to a post and it posted somewhere else
this is getting aggravating.

cuddlyfemme · 08-01-2010, 07:33 AM

Atlanta Butch, I know what you mean about leaving all your friends and family to be with that special person who turns out to be not that special...been there...done that. I find that dating sites are full of people who just want to play head games not to mention charge ridiculous prices just for those head games

morningstar55 · 08-02-2010, 01:24 PM

strangest thing happend today.......
ya know.. last week sometime... i was poking around the internet, and looked up...... truck driving for celeberties/concerts etc.....
and it came up with several companies and what the qaulifcations are and such... ok .. just lookng courious....
i get these tarot card reading things coming to my wall on FB ... and just about every reading or every other one.... its gives u like 3 a day i dont know why... but it keeps telling me of change, changes, etc...
well.... i had a load I took to canada friday, while i droped it off, (Panther who i work for) sent me a message to pick up another load which was 20 miles away, up north of Toronto, it was stage stuff for .. Metallica..(it was dragons , lazers, war tanks and fogg stuff..) and I thought??? yeha.. this is awsome.. cuz most the time , cept sometimes i haul car parts. so this was cool... and wierd that I got a load like this , cuz i have not mentioned anything about this story to anyone.. of doing the search for trucking companies/jobs doing this sort of thing.
soo ok i get here..... just east of Harrisburg Pa where im droping the stage stuff at some sort of warehouse storage place they have here..
well here were all these other trucks here with trailers with other major concert stuff.... with a couple companies names on the trucks i seen on line.
well after sitting there waiting for someone to unload my truck and listening to these trucker guys talk there stuff and all ...one of them who seemd in charge of several trucks, walked away then came bk a lil later and asked for info about my truck and owner... and wants to se if he can hire my truck for hauling ahhhhhhhhhh concert stuff.... heh.. says they need some smaller trucks like mine.... now how wierd is that???

morningstar55 · 08-02-2010, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AtlantaButch824

this is the 3rd time I tried to reply to a post and it posted somewhere else
this is getting aggravating.

(((((((((((((((AltantaButch)))))))))))))))
hate it when that happens.. lol

WolfyOne · 11-20-2009, 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HumV4me

~~HEY~~ 41, here. And a Grandmother... I prefer it as **G-Ma**.

And I'm just waiting to get over to whole "Hang on to your youth" thing so I can just stop dying the grey and cut the color right outa my hair... yes... I'm go'na to cut that color right outa my hair.

LOL

I find myself focused on taking care of the parents now... the role has totally flipped... I'm the caretaker now. CRAZY! I would never had imagined such a thing happening.

I do good getting 3 or 4 events a ~~YEAR~~ now with all the ((grown up)) things I have to do.

Personally I think grey is sexy and you wear it so well.

Jet · 11-22-2009, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HumV4me

......I can just stop dying the grey and cut the color right outa my hair... yes... I'm go'na to cut that color right outa my hair.

LOL

Did you really mean"I'm gonna wash that man right outta my hair..."?Yep, you belong in here...this is the place for folks who are old enough to hum tunes from South Pacific....LOL
Awwww hell, ain't it grand to be older to remember great stuff?

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNl5p-TpGPU"]YouTube- I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Out Of My Hair - South Pacific - Complete Audio[/ame]

Lynn · 11-22-2009, 10:41 AM

I'm 49, going on 50 in August. I always felt good about getting older and, hopefully, wiser. But, 50 is kind of daunting. I'm told I look younger, like in my 30's. But, does that eventually catch up with someone, and become odd rather than attractive? We'll see! I'm a lot happier in my 40's than I ever was before. Coming out and being myself, and all that, is a great stress reliever and source of energy and inspiration! I'm always looking for the right hangout, so thanks for setting this up.

Jet · 11-22-2009, 10:47 AM

Welcome to the Loft, Lynn.

HumV4me · 11-22-2009, 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WolfyOne

Personally I think grey is sexy and you wear it so well.

Thank you so much my friend... LOL

Quote:

Originally Posted by hpychick

I'm 45, a mom of 3, a grandmother of 6...and guess what??? I'm still sparkly!!!

Life gets more beautiful as the days go along.

WE LOVE ~~SPARKLY~~!

Quote:

Originally Posted by BullDog

Great thread Jet. 47 years old and still going strong. I can't say I have slowed down much from my wild and crazy days since I wasn't ever that wild and crazy to begin with, lol. One thing that I have discovered as I grow older is time definitely does seem to fly by the older I get. I try to remember to take the time to appreciate people and things in my life. Also nothing replaces life experience. Nothing. And us older types do have more of it.

I have to agree here also. This year is one of the fastest years I've ever seen go by... and the ironic thing about time going by so fast is... (((I say the same thing every year))) so it seems.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ol' Jet

Did you really mean"I'm gonna wash that man right outta my hair..."?Yep, you belong in here...this is the place for folks who are old enough to hum tunes from South Pacific....LOL
Awwww hell, ain't it grand to be older to remember great stuff?

Now that is a good one... I didn't think about that tune... but the tune I was thinking about was the old hair coloring commercial ~~I'm gon'a wash that grey right outa my hair!~~ LOL It's all along the same lines though.

morningstar55 · 11-22-2009, 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lynn

I'm 49, going on 50 in August. I always felt good about getting older and, hopefully, wiser. But, 50 is kind of daunting. I'm told I look younger, like in my 30's. But, does that eventually catch up with someone, and become odd rather than attractive? We'll see! I'm a lot happier in my 40's than I ever was before. Coming out and being myself, and all that, is a great stress reliever and source of energy and inspiration! I'm always looking for the right hangout, so thanks for setting this up.

oh wow.... i can relate to a lot of that.....
i think as butchs get older....... they get more handsome... heh
that distinguished look.....

Jet · 11-20-2009, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

There used to be a time when I was at the bar almost every night...

God I remember those days.

Lady Jewel · 11-20-2009, 10:04 PM

I think I got very lucky and pretty much avoided the bar life. And for sure at my age, I have zero interest in it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ol' Jet

God I remember those days.

Jude · 01-27-2010, 09:03 PM

Got you all beat. I'm in my 60s. I was exclusively gay well into my late 20s and then opted for marriage in order to have chidlren. Needless to say, the marriage didn't work out, but I have two lovely, brilliant grown daughters who are good people. Replaced the husband with an 8 lb. shih tzu named Lucy. Guess I am well over the hill. My concepts of gay life are stuck back in the 60s. I'm told that things have changed. Really grateful to have good health, energy and a quest for adventure. Love overseas travel. Not seeking a romantic interlude at this point. Just a few friends/activity partners. Are there any interesting groups for older lesbians in the Washington, DC area? I don't feel old enough to join anything named "Crones" or "Owls". What do mature lesbians do? Anybody tried purchasing a small condo in FL (or somewhere warm) for winters with any success or is that just asking for more responsibility? Just joined. Nice to be here.

11-20-2009, 02:38 PM	#1
Apocalipstic Pink Confection How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status: Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville Posts: 4,266 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,195 Thanked 11,361 Times in 2,838 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Zygote here....:) Seriously though, so many of my friends have always been younger but I am pretty settled now and don't party like I once did. I do feel very old in some ways. My immediate circle of friends is changing radically. I find myself more and more wanting to be home in front of the fireplace with my honey and our dogs and kitties, I never imagined I would reach an age where I would rather eat dirt than go out. The only time I have more than 2 cocktails is at family stuff...and I consider that medicinal...ha. Last weekend, we actually went to a bar with a friend, and as soon as the crowd lumbered in, we went home. It was 9:30. Yep. There used to be a time when I was at the bar almost every night...though who can afford that and a house now? Anyone else see a change in things you enjoy and friendships as you age?

11-20-2009, 10:06 PM	#4
HumV4me Member How Do You Identify?: FEMME Preferred Pronoun?: Honey, Baby, Love, Dearest Relationship Status: in an animal house Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: CALIFORNIA Posts: 131 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 49 Thanked 75 Times in 34 Posts Rep Power: 100332	~~HEY~~ 41, here. And a Grandmother... I prefer it as G-Ma. And I'm just waiting to get over to whole "Hang on to your youth" thing so I can just stop dying the grey and cut the color right outa my hair... yes... I'm go'na to cut that color right outa my hair. LOL I find myself focused on taking care of the parents now... the role has totally flipped... I'm the caretaker now. CRAZY! I would never had imagined such a thing happening. I do good getting 3 or 4 events a ~~YEAR~~ now with all the ((grown up)) things I have to do. __________________ Alicia Ann

08-02-2010, 01:24 PM	#10
morningstar55 Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme,she Preferred Pronoun?: she,her, Relationship Status: very single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: western NY Posts: 3,809 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,280 Thanked 4,240 Times in 1,845 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	strangest thing happend today....... ya know.. last week sometime... i was poking around the internet, and looked up...... truck driving for celeberties/concerts etc..... and it came up with several companies and what the qaulifcations are and such... ok .. just lookng courious.... i get these tarot card reading things coming to my wall on FB ... and just about every reading or every other one.... its gives u like 3 a day i dont know why... but it keeps telling me of change, changes, etc... well.... i had a load I took to canada friday, while i droped it off, (Panther who i work for) sent me a message to pick up another load which was 20 miles away, up north of Toronto, it was stage stuff for .. Metallica..(it was dragons , lazers, war tanks and fogg stuff..) and I thought??? yeha.. this is awsome.. cuz most the time , cept sometimes i haul car parts. so this was cool... and wierd that I got a load like this , cuz i have not mentioned anything about this story to anyone.. of doing the search for trucking companies/jobs doing this sort of thing. soo ok i get here..... just east of Harrisburg Pa where im droping the stage stuff at some sort of warehouse storage place they have here.. well here were all these other trucks here with trailers with other major concert stuff.... with a couple companies names on the trucks i seen on line. well after sitting there waiting for someone to unload my truck and listening to these trucker guys talk there stuff and all ...one of them who seemd in charge of several trucks, walked away then came bk a lil later and asked for info about my truck and owner... and wants to se if he can hire my truck for hauling ahhhhhhhhhh concert stuff.... heh.. says they need some smaller trucks like mine.... now how wierd is that??? __________________ -------------------------------------------- life is to short to wake up in the morning with regrets so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who dont, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance take it... if it changes your life let it.

11-20-2009, 09:59 PM	#3
Lady Jewel Member How Do You Identify?: * Preferred Pronoun?: * Relationship Status: * Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: * Posts: 298 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 120 Thanked 322 Times in 124 Posts Rep Power: 791	Hey all I am 48 and would not change all the years of experience to be young again for all the money in the world. I am in place where I know who I am, where I am going and really like myself. Jewel

11-20-2009, 10:50 PM	#5
Diva Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Diva Preferred Pronoun?: Diva Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Chez Diva Posts: 11,879 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,263 Thanked 17,174 Times in 5,239 Posts Rep Power: 0	I'll be 57 my next birthday (Feb).....that sounds so surreal to me! lol I don't FEEL 57......I don't feel as though I LOOK 57.....I certainly don't ACT 57!! That being said, I DO find that I am increasingly more impatient with people who act the fool. If You're cranky, mean to people, shit~stirrers or passive~aggressive, I really don't have time for that. There's a part of me that is really looking forward to being a grandmother, but I'm not telling my daughter that! lol And I'm not having the "Grandma/Granny/MeeMaw/Nana" stuff.....I'm going to teach them something unusual....like "Diva". Yes....it has served me well for many years.....it might as well continue on.....

07-28-2010, 11:25 AM	#7
AtlantaButch824 Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Butch Preferred Pronoun?: does it really matter Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Atlanta Posts: 30 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 25 Thanked 35 Times in 15 Posts Rep Power: 121157	I am just out of a 10.5 yr relationship. I left all my friends and family in southwest ga to move to Atlanta. We had no social life and it sucks trying to make new friends. I cancelled 4 dating site memberships because I was paying. So many head games and that was the ones that would respond to an instant message. I just want to go out and meet new friends.

07-28-2010, 11:27 AM	#8
AtlantaButch824 Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Butch Preferred Pronoun?: does it really matter Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Atlanta Posts: 30 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 25 Thanked 35 Times in 15 Posts Rep Power: 121157	this is the 3rd time I tried to reply to a post and it posted somewhere else this is getting aggravating.

08-01-2010, 07:33 AM	#9
cuddlyfemme Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Femme Preferred Pronoun?: her/she Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: South Carolina Posts: 2,271 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 717 Thanked 2,452 Times in 1,270 Posts Rep Power: 11496123	Atlanta Butch, I know what you mean about leaving all your friends and family to be with that special person who turns out to be not that special...been there...done that. I find that dating sites are full of people who just want to play head games not to mention charge ridiculous prices just for those head games

11-22-2009, 10:41 AM	#14
Lynn Member How Do You Identify?: Unabashed Feminine Lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: Her, She Relationship Status: Married! Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 689 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,499 Thanked 2,413 Times in 504 Posts Rep Power: 9668975	I'm 49, going on 50 in August. I always felt good about getting older and, hopefully, wiser. But, 50 is kind of daunting. I'm told I look younger, like in my 30's. But, does that eventually catch up with someone, and become odd rather than attractive? We'll see! I'm a lot *happier* in my 40's than I ever was before. Coming out and being myself, and all that, is a great stress reliever and source of energy and inspiration! I'm always looking for the right hangout, so thanks for setting this up.

11-22-2009, 10:47 AM	#15
Jet Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: .. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: .. Posts: 3,471 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 292 Thanked 2,647 Times in 1,293 Posts Rep Power: 0	Welcome to the Loft, Lynn.

01-27-2010, 09:03 PM	#20
Jude Member How Do You Identify?: I'm Fluid (comfortable being me) Preferred Pronoun?: "Hey Jude" Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Bethesda/Chevy Chase (suburbs of Wash DC) Posts: 100 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 129 Thanked 146 Times in 55 Posts Rep Power: 104572	Got you all beat. I'm in my 60s. I was exclusively gay well into my late 20s and then opted for marriage in order to have chidlren. Needless to say, the marriage didn't work out, but I have two lovely, brilliant grown daughters who are good people. Replaced the husband with an 8 lb. shih tzu named Lucy. Guess I am well over the hill. My concepts of gay life are stuck back in the 60s. I'm told that things have changed. Really grateful to have good health, energy and a quest for adventure. Love overseas travel. Not seeking a romantic interlude at this point. Just a few friends/activity partners. Are there any interesting groups for older lesbians in the Washington, DC area? I don't feel old enough to join anything named "Crones" or "Owls". What do mature lesbians do? Anybody tried purchasing a small condo in FL (or somewhere warm) for winters with any success or is that just asking for more responsibility? Just joined. Nice to be here.