Long Distance Relationships

[imperfect_cupcake]

Originally Posted by homoe

I applaud those who can do and have had success with LDR!

For me however, I’m looking for someone to spend quality time with and do things with in person. Those familiar with the Five Languages of Love will understand what I mean. Enjoying a movie, going to see a play, shop, dinner or cooking together are ways that I prefer to get to know someone. One on one interaction, in person, as opposed to skyping, emailing, texting, or phone chatting. Once one either hangs up or logs off, there one sits alone.

It's interesting you bring this up. Mine is Acts of Service, which means I value someone actually helping me, rather than writing me a love letter. I do love talking, though so Skype calls are great, I do that even when people only live 45 minutes away, but that is not words of affirmation (one of the five languages). I love a good natter! Words of affirmation, aside from "you look hawt!!" Are nothing I need. I rarely need to hear I love you. I can tell quite easily that someone does by the way they behave. And if I can't tell by the way they behave, someone saying "I love you" is pretty worthless to me.

But if quality time *together* (in person) is you number one, I can totally see it. Quality time together for me came in the middle. I need it, probably more than is available in super long distance - but I prefer to have it less, with a different value behind it (for example, not sitting in the same room doing separate things, some people love just having body company. My flat mates fill that for me, plus I can belch, eat crisps, wear a mumu, and scratch my arse in ways I can't if I'm with a partner. I need my "slob time"). Even if I'm dating someone in the same city I can go a week or two without seeing them quite easily as long as we have great chats on skype or the phone. But I wouldn't like it to be longer than that. I'm not a fan of seeing someone once a month. That would bother me. If it's someone I really, really like... Every other week for a long weekend of complete involvement would be my minimum.

But I think you are totally right with the five languages thing. I think there is something to that.