Butch visibility

[Ascot]

In the last couple of weeks I've been told by three people that they had no idea I was gay. I don't even know what I think about that. Evidently I've been walking around with the erroneous assumption that I read like a big ol' homo to everybody. To be clear, two are passing acquaintances, and the other was a complete stranger. The last one, the stranger, actually I guess it was four people total because there were two women together that I've lumped into the stranger category. I met them when I was geocaching on Saturday, an older gal and a woman I'm thinking was her mother. I told them a little bit about what I was doing, and they seemed to find the whole idea very appealing. They even helped me look for the cache. A couple minutes into the conversation I said, "By the way, I'm Lise." The younger of the two women told me her name, and then gestured to the older woman and said,"And she's Gay." I'm sure you can see where this is going. I just couldn't help myself. I say,"Hey, me too!" Nothing. It seemed pretty clear that even though I declared it, these women just didn't see it. I think it didn't even remotely occur to them. I do realize that it could be a generational thing. Or, I suppose it is possible that they got it, and so didn't care that they didn't even react. Hmm...

I'm usually recognized by other queer folks, and that is a lovely thing. I think my investment in wanting to be seen as gay by nonqueer people has to do with putting out the message that we are everywhere and that's cool. I'm certainly not looking to have that be my sole or even a major identifier, but I still like there to be an awareness of it. Do you guys care if people know?