![]() |
![]() |
#341 | |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Transmasculine Preferred Pronoun?:
Male ones Relationship Status:
Playing around and having fun Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Minnetonka, MN
Posts: 903
Thanks: 990
Thanked 3,663 Times in 824 Posts
Rep Power: 21474849 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Quote:
I was here when the comment was made that actually caused this whole derailling thread. The comment was relating to how the person likes to treat her 'man'/boi/butch/partner/etc. She was referring to how she likes to cook, clean, etc. It was not about the era itself at all or claiming that the 50s was the ideal time. It was just simply about how she likes to treat the person she loves. Other people assumed that by her using June Cleaver as how she defines herself to mean that she meant the 50s were the best times and that somehow she was in favor of suppressing women's rights, the rights of other minorities, giving men all the power and control... blah blah blah. This was not the intent or meaning and it all got blown out of proportion because some people jumped to conclusions and made some very big assumptions. It had nothing to do with kink or revoking equality or rights. I don't think any single person here was in the wrong for anything they said. I do think it was wrong for people to jump to conclusions and make assumptions first. But it happens and forums are where we can talk it out and understand each other. Everyone has different ways they live their lives. No one is denying that right. Some women like to take care of their partner, some want to be taken care of, and others want an equal 50/50 split. No one is wrong. Assuming a 'June Cleaver' Femme wants to give up her rights and live like it's the 1950s based on one small comment is not much different than how some straight people assume that being gay means you like to sleep around with everyone and have no morals based solely on the small fact that you are attracted to someone who is the same gender as you are. Thank you for listening and I hope this may have helped sort this all out, at least a little bit. |
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#342 |
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?:
She Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: In A Healing Place
Posts: 5,371
Thanks: 18,160
Thanked 22,665 Times in 4,464 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
I think I do partially get it. Like if I said, wow I love the 1920's they had such great music and clothes. Then people come back and say OMG BullDog how could you say that? What about WWI, The Great Depression was about to hit, all the oppression- racism, sexism, etc. Then I'm like- geeze I like the music and clothes I didn't say I love everything about it or want to live exactly that way.
With the whole 1950's thing, June Cleaver, OFOS- it feels like we are hit with it time and time again and it feels stifling and oppressive to me. Maybe because I lived a quasi-version of it. I think the June Cleaver thread is quite enlightening and expresses many of the thoughts I feel. I get that we can all have our own favorite eras and role models, but these just seem to be predominant ones that get held out as the standard over and over again. It feels like a very white upper middle class heterosexual model that gets held up as the standard that most of us could never live up to or want to live up to. Perhaps the answer is to just go to our separate corners. I really don't know.
__________________
Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. - Rainer Maria Rilke |
![]() |
![]() |
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to BullDog For This Useful Post: |
![]() |
#343 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
queer femme-inist Relationship Status:
I'm lucky. ![]() Join Date: May 2010
Location: Western Mass
Posts: 3,774
Thanks: 9,518
Thanked 14,541 Times in 2,744 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
I'm in love with a female identified butch, and we are, you know, a monogamous committed couple, but I have been mightily attracted to men who identify as FTM, and the very occasional cisman, but I'm not attracted to every female identified butch, or every man who identifies as FTM, and so on.
Seriously, the threads that make broad sweeping generalizations about groups bug me like crazy. But, I completely get that it's fun to flirt and let potential dates know they think queer femmes are hot stuff, for example. I live in Western Mass, and in some communities there are huge numbers of lesbians. But, Pete and I perform our own sexy dance, perform in the RuPaul sense, I mean. When she helps me on with my coat, or holds the door for me, or fetches me a ginger ale, we appear to be enacting traditional gender roles. The difference is, we have no desire to live in the 1950's; I am queer and Pete is a lesbian. We own who we are as people. I understand that there are folks for whom this is the only place they can be seen for who they genuinely are. I'm thinking of 'the guys', who get to be 'guys', but I am also thinking of femmes who get to strut their stuff without being erased out in the world. But, I don't get to perform feminine the way feminine is portrayed in sitcoms, in the most grotesquely offensive way. |
![]() |
![]() |
The Following 15 Users Say Thank You to Chancie For This Useful Post: |
![]() |
#344 | |||
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
FTM Preferred Pronoun?:
guy ones Relationship Status:
... Join Date: May 2011
Location: chillin' in FL
Posts: 3,690
Thanks: 21,951
Thanked 9,679 Times in 2,875 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
Thank you for the following Vintage and Uniques and everybody else posting in regards to what you find attractive in FTMs!
Quote:
Quote:
Your post definitely was not a derail.. maybe on the current discussion happening here but most definitely is what the thread is all about, FTMs and the attraction of them. Thanks for your sentiments. My question for FTMs (in regards to attraction) is : Have people in your life helped you along that journey we make as FTMs in realizing, aligning, transforming, etc? .. and for others: Have you been able to help FTMs with their journey in realizing, aligning, transforming, and how has it affected or changed them or yourself? For me, it's comments like the above, people that understand where we come from and how we feel, acceptance, and this thread in general that help someone such as myself move about comfortably in this life being who I am. Quote:
![]() |
|||
![]() |
![]() |
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to ruffryder For This Useful Post: |
![]() |
#345 | |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
*** Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: ***
Posts: 4,999
Thanks: 13,409
Thanked 18,286 Times in 4,167 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Quote:
|
|
![]() |
![]() |
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Martina For This Useful Post: |
![]() |
#346 | |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
queer femme-inist Relationship Status:
I'm lucky. ![]() Join Date: May 2010
Location: Western Mass
Posts: 3,774
Thanks: 9,518
Thanked 14,541 Times in 2,744 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Quote:
|
|
![]() |
![]() |
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Chancie For This Useful Post: |
![]() |
#347 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Male with interesting historical perspective Relationship Status:
Taking Applications Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: In perpetual Wonder. And Western Mass.
Posts: 254
Thanks: 417
Thanked 753 Times in 187 Posts
Rep Power: 11507408 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
I think I brought "kink" into the conversation - I think I also qualified it as "some level of kink" - I apologize for any offense. There is a whole community of people who come at this from a 50's household kinky point of view, I must have had that on my brain. Medieval Fairs aren't kink either. I'm not sure bringing kink into the discussion invalidates what I was saying. Actually whether it's kink or not, although times have changed - there were women who felt empowered even back then, and weren't happy about the changes.
As far as being an asshole - yes, born-men have the whole world in which to be an asshole. This may be less so for trans-men to different degrees depending on their circumstances. I believe we are ALL assholes. I *think* I understand what DMW was trying to say - I wasn't thrilled with the "especially submissive femme" reference. Really, he has a right to want to vent, to be his "asshole" self. But in a thread such as this with a large number of femmes - not wise. DMW would be better off choosing another thread, or maybe creating his own, where other guys in similar shoes who have gone through or are going through the process can call him out or support him from our perspective. I can say it is very hard at times to be surrounded by male privilege, not be perceived as male, and confuse the lack of receipt of male privilege with lack of recognition as male. VERY hard, and often not resolvable until one is perceived as male socially. For me, I became an even bigger feminist the more I was perceived as male. Males sometimes see me as betraying them, women are generally confused when I advocate - and sadly, if they knew I was trans I would not be taken as seriously. |
![]() |
![]() |
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Hominid For This Useful Post: |
![]() |
#348 | |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Transmasculine Preferred Pronoun?:
Male ones Relationship Status:
Playing around and having fun Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Minnetonka, MN
Posts: 903
Thanks: 990
Thanked 3,663 Times in 824 Posts
Rep Power: 21474849 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Quote:
That being said I think I need to remove myself from this whole thread until (if) it un-derails itself! LOL |
|
![]() |
![]() |
The Following User Says Thank You to GraffitiBoi For This Useful Post: |
![]() |
#349 | |||
MILLION $$$ PUSSY
How Do You Identify?:
Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
Iconic Ms. Relationship Status:
Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: ** La Reina del Sur**
Posts: 22,488
Thanks: 32,231
Thanked 80,081 Times in 15,669 Posts
Rep Power: 21474874 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
Actually it started like this.
I don't balk, the people I date/own/fuck aren't stable... Hence my post after those particular posts. Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
__________________
"If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden ![]() ![]() |
|||
![]() |
![]() |
The Following User Says Thank You to The_Lady_Snow For This Useful Post: |
![]() |
#350 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
FTM/Male (Will 14) Relationship Status:
Caught An Angel and she doesn't lie! Join Date: May 2012
Location: @
Posts: 784
Thanks: 2,256
Thanked 1,858 Times in 614 Posts
Rep Power: 21474850 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
Unfortunately, the late night editing of my random feelings and thoughts regarding how i feel personally...got cut up by me, without me
recognizing, until now, that what i had originally posted got hosed up....specifically, My point b) isn't even there. So, i don't even recall what i originally posted or what thought processes got left out or unfinished. So, the post wound up being even more confusing or misrepresentitive of what i was trying to convey. I do recognize that barfing up my feelings onto this website has the capacity to open up a can of worms and cause confusion and strife and bring up emotions. I must say...that i didn't post those feelings with a purpose to get a response from others or to be noticed by anyone nor to try and get attention or heard or what have you. But, this is a public forum. So, i should expect a reaction, i suppose. I do have to take responsibility for what i have posted, eventhough my late night...not well thought out blab didn't come across original because i cut it up and lost it. That doesn't necessarily mean that i would be understood the way i wanted to be. And i think i may have offended people. I don't like that. I don't have an insecurity issue with it either. i am wanting to answer people's questions but at the same time deal with my own emotions and feelings and find the words as to why i am bothered and what is disturbing me. So, selfishly, i have to focus on what irks me before i try and clear up what was originally posted by me or answer the questions. I may never be able to find that original thought or feeling to my post. I just want to apologize for blabbing and then not being able to clear it up sooner rather than later. I think for me...what it comes down to is this...being perceived as a previleged white male ...in society has its advantages...yes. However, it has it's drawbacks, also. When people look at me...they assume...ah...he is a white male and this is how his life has been...And it just isn't so. (i guess it is like the "invisibility" feeling that femmes have and have to put up with) And so, when i come here to this website ...it is as though i expect more understanding and some kind of relief from this community. And that isn't necessarily fair...especially if many do not know me well here or don't have any kind of foundation of that awareness (of who i am) to draw upon. That is asking a lot. It really is. In addition, if i don't explain where i am coming from...then how the hell would anyone know that....hey...that asshole remark that he just made...(I prefer Donna Reed and or Alice Kramden)...I may like Donna Reed in a dress and all...but, i do not expect her to go and get my morning paper or my coffee because i demand that... not unless she wants to. I want her to go and get my morning paper and my coffee because...it is what she wants to do because it makes her happy to make me happy. I do want to apologize for hurting anyone's feelings. I am sorry for that sincerely. DMW Last edited by DMW; 10-28-2012 at 12:34 PM. |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#351 |
Timed Out
How Do You Identify?:
MALE Preferred Pronoun?:
He Relationship Status:
Working on myself, thank you Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Virginia
Posts: 186
Thanks: 343
Thanked 552 Times in 145 Posts
Rep Power: 0 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
Originally Posted by Darbonaire
They seem to understand and "get" the June Cleaver lifestyle. They respect it. They don't balk at many of the common courtesies. Doors get held open, chairs pulled back, Ma'am is said... Yes indeed....it's how I believe it should be....thanks for noticing when we do it...<smile>.... & guess what Snow....I stand by my statement totally! Doors should get held open...<in MY world> Chairs pulled back..<in MY world>.....Common courtesy, manners also...<in MY world> Now, if that makes you feel oppressed or your feminity threatened..<which I doubt btw having read many of your posts...lol> oh well. YOUR world is YOUR world & MINE is MINE. I don't post to offend anyone, but, if I can't, or anyone can't post what they feel or think on these boards, then is this any better than the outside world where we all are subjected to censorship etc.? Now no, people should not be allowed to post derogatory things about others on here, but we are ALL entitled to our opinions, yes? Out in the r/t world we seek people who have similar interests, similar tastes in life.....common ground as it were. We are all looking to find like minded souls to travel this journey with. Well, at at least I am. Now then...back to our regularly scheduled programming..... |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#352 | |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
All Man (FTM if I must have a label) Preferred Pronoun?:
Male ones Relationship Status:
She's my Southern Comfort Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 412
Thanks: 569
Thanked 1,241 Times in 326 Posts
Rep Power: 18460390 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Quote:
__________________
Words are what we hear; they allow the heart to believe what it wants to believe. But actions, actions show us the real truth of what we need to believe. |
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#353 | |
MILLION $$$ PUSSY
How Do You Identify?:
Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
Iconic Ms. Relationship Status:
Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: ** La Reina del Sur**
Posts: 22,488
Thanks: 32,231
Thanked 80,081 Times in 15,669 Posts
Rep Power: 21474874 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Quote:
Please don't speak to me like I am some dimwit that doesn't get what is what I believe I have explained what the issue is what seems like millions of times. Opinions can be stated without stepping on the desires of others. It's been said over and over and over again.
__________________
"If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden ![]() ![]() Last edited by The_Lady_Snow; 10-28-2012 at 01:04 PM. Reason: Trying out the pink to see if I am talked to differently |
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#354 | |
Timed Out
How Do You Identify?:
MALE Preferred Pronoun?:
He Relationship Status:
Working on myself, thank you Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Virginia
Posts: 186
Thanks: 343
Thanked 552 Times in 145 Posts
Rep Power: 0 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Quote:
|
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#355 |
Timed Out
How Do You Identify?:
MALE Preferred Pronoun?:
He Relationship Status:
Working on myself, thank you Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Virginia
Posts: 186
Thanks: 343
Thanked 552 Times in 145 Posts
Rep Power: 0 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
How is someone to know other's "opinions" will get fired up if they come into a room & then post "their opinion" ? Seriously, if I had the time to read back over 2 yrs worth of posts "maybe" I could tell where a sore spot or subject is....but really......there are folks out here...FTM & Femme who feel as you do, & who feel as I & others do.....I don't believe anyone was out to start some dicussion about the 50's....but hey....it's all ok by me.
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#356 | |
MILLION $$$ PUSSY
How Do You Identify?:
Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
Iconic Ms. Relationship Status:
Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: ** La Reina del Sur**
Posts: 22,488
Thanks: 32,231
Thanked 80,081 Times in 15,669 Posts
Rep Power: 21474874 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Quote:
are you telling me I should move along? Your postings are very silencing. You post feels very head patting.. Care to clarify? Oh and your ego, that shouldn't take presidence over my posts or anyone elses post who don't agree with your way of thinking.
__________________
"If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden ![]() ![]() |
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#357 |
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?:
She Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: In A Healing Place
Posts: 5,371
Thanks: 18,160
Thanked 22,665 Times in 4,464 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
You know some of us are just trying to make an effort to clarify and understand each other better.
Opening and doors and such- "50s style" FTMS aren't the only ones with manners. I don't quite get this some of guys just want to be guys stuff since there are plenty of FTMs and trans guys here that don't act like that way at all.
__________________
Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. - Rainer Maria Rilke |
![]() |
![]() |
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to BullDog For This Useful Post: |
![]() |
#358 |
Timed Out
How Do You Identify?:
MALE Preferred Pronoun?:
He Relationship Status:
Working on myself, thank you Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Virginia
Posts: 186
Thanks: 343
Thanked 552 Times in 145 Posts
Rep Power: 0 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
Do you carry that chip on your shoulder ALL the time...My God...so I guess compliments...even sincere seem to be "dismissing" to you?...LOL...wow, <making a note to myelf on that one> & since I believe I saw a post by the MOD back aways about getting BACK to the original theme & starting a seperate room for this discussion...well, pardon me..I thought we would be doing that....wrong again I guess...Y'all enjoy the discussing..I'll come back when it's back on point.
|
![]() |
![]() |
The Following User Says Thank You to Darbonaire For This Useful Post: |
![]() |
#359 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
All Man (FTM if I must have a label) Preferred Pronoun?:
Male ones Relationship Status:
She's my Southern Comfort Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 412
Thanks: 569
Thanked 1,241 Times in 326 Posts
Rep Power: 18460390 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
I have read through more of this thread than I found comfortable. IMO there is a lot of passive aggressive remarks, A LOT of judging of people's choice of lifestyle/kink/behaviors & all around misunderstandings on an epic level. IMO this is a perfect example of how some topics are just too complicated to carry out in a purely written, moderated forum.
ALL OF THIS MY OPINION & VIEW ONLY. I for one would like to get back to the original intent of this thread; What attracts you to FTMs?
__________________
Words are what we hear; they allow the heart to believe what it wants to believe. But actions, actions show us the real truth of what we need to believe. |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#360 | |
Timed Out
How Do You Identify?:
MALE Preferred Pronoun?:
He Relationship Status:
Working on myself, thank you Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Virginia
Posts: 186
Thanks: 343
Thanked 552 Times in 145 Posts
Rep Power: 0 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Quote:
Where did you see me say that 50's FTM's are the "only ones with manners"?...Ok....out of here...wheh y'all decide to get back on topic I'll be glad to join in...till then....enjoy yourselves..>! Oh & BTW...I'm not in to so called "guy stuff"...LOL...ask my ex ...<laughing So much at this cause you have no idea who I am or how I am>..... |
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
|
|