Long Distance Relationships

[Hack]

Originally Posted by Ciaran

I've posted about this before on this site but the above type of arrangement would be my ideal relationship. I like intimacy with a partner and sharing our physical space - but I cannot do this 24/7. I need alone time and I need my own personal space too sometimes. Therefore, 24/7 would be very claustrophobic for me and, simply, I don't think it would work unless we at least had separate rooms in the same house in addition to shared space.


When I think back to the few 24/7 relationships I've had, I realise that I always had separate living arrangements in part. For example, when I moved in with my partner around 2001 or so, I kept my own condo and would sometimes spend the night there (it was closer to my office anyway).


The difficulty is that some / many people perceive the need for separate personal space as indicative of a lack of commitment - whereas, from my perspective, it's nothing of the sort. Rather, it's to preserve my sanity and actually strengthen the relationship.

I think alone time is healthy. For as madly and passionately that I am in love with my girlfriend, I can see in the future, when we are sharing a living space full-time, we will need our time to ourselves. I always insist on my partner having "girl time" with her friends because it is very important that your friendships don't wither. Ever. The great thing about my relationship is that we have a lot of interests in common (books, music, museums, art, travel) and just enough things we don't share that we can maintain separate interests and have that alone time without the other being threatened by it.