Rethinking our partner wishlists. Is it "settling" or adjusting to reality?

apretty · 05-07-2011, 09:42 AM

That's just it--My list was roughly this:

If you find someone who's company you enjoy, and who treats you well, but doesnt measure up to your preferred standards in some way, can you set your list aside and just enjoy the company?

And was never about a bunch unachievable standards. --Though tall, dark and handsome doesn't hurt.

That said, as I matured and had a couple of significant experiences--I knew *kindness* was extremely lacking in the list of qualities that I sought. As soon as I revised my list (and became really super okay with my single lifestyle--basically stopped looking) I met E.

It's funny that 'kindness' was overlooked by me but I just never really saw it modeled in my parents--Though my dad was kind to my mother in his way, my mother could really never receive what passed for his love (and really, vice versa). Needless to say, I've done a lot of work in that department (and continue to do so).

Outside of all of that--Laugh at my humor and make me laugh and I'm seriously your's (E's) forever. --Though kindness, mutual respect and the capacity to give and receive love doesn't hurt, either. <3

05-07-2011, 09:42 AM	#9
apretty Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: sea shell Relationship Status: married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: san diego Posts: 1,687 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,927 Thanked 4,377 Times in 1,015 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	That's just it--My list was roughly this: If you find someone who's company you enjoy, and who treats you well, but doesnt measure up to your preferred standards in some way, can you set your list aside and just enjoy the company? And was never about a bunch unachievable standards. --Though tall, dark and handsome doesn't hurt. That said, as I matured and had a couple of significant experiences--I knew kindness was extremely lacking in the list of qualities that I sought. As soon as I revised my list (and became really super okay with my single lifestyle--basically stopped looking) I met E. It's funny that 'kindness' was overlooked by me but I just never really saw it modeled in my parents--Though my dad was kind to my mother in his way, my mother could really never receive what passed for his love (and really, vice versa). Needless to say, I've done a lot of work in that department (and continue to do so). Outside of all of that--Laugh at my humor and make me laugh and I'm seriously your's (E's) forever. --Though kindness, mutual respect and the capacity to give and receive love doesn't hurt, either. <3 Last edited by apretty; 05-07-2011 at 09:45 AM.