Rethinking our partner wishlists. Is it "settling" or adjusting to reality?

bigbutchmistie · 05-01-2011, 07:37 PM

At 35 in a couple of weeks I've never been in a long Iterm relationship lasting years. I think its partly due for the most part about my having social anxiety and not getting out and meeting people. But in any event I've noticed over the years my list has changed. It's gone from she must look like this and make z amount of money to will she make me laugh would I feel safe around her can I trust her without reservation. If I lost everything would she still love me and be my.cheerleader. I guess the older I get the.less picky I am. Now I don't expect someone to be anything than I'm not.

There is a huge difference in my list that I looked for in my 20's than what I seek in my mid thirties. But for me I have a basic list now and those are things for me that are not negotiab. So for me settling is not an option.

Yes I get lonely and sometimes ache so bad inside to be with someone. But the RIGHT person for me will only do. Settling is never right for both parties involved. Just my .02

I

05-01-2011, 07:37 PM	#3
bigbutchmistie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Since You Need A Label. Butch Relationship Status: Still Dreaming Of My Happily Ever After Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Arlington Texas Posts: 4,009 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,950 Thanked 5,364 Times in 1,941 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	At 35 in a couple of weeks I've never been in a long Iterm relationship lasting years. I think its partly due for the most part about my having social anxiety and not getting out and meeting people. But in any event I've noticed over the years my list has changed. It's gone from she must look like this and make z amount of money to will she make me laugh would I feel safe around her can I trust her without reservation. If I lost everything would she still love me and be my.cheerleader. I guess the older I get the.less picky I am. Now I don't expect someone to be anything than I'm not. There is a huge difference in my list that I looked for in my 20's than what I seek in my mid thirties. But for me I have a basic list now and those are things for me that are not negotiab. So for me settling is not an option. Yes I get lonely and sometimes ache so bad inside to be with someone. But the RIGHT person for me will only do. Settling is never right for both parties involved. Just my .02 I