When a Femme meets a Butch... dating advice!

Fatale · 10-24-2012, 07:28 PM

I've always been a big advocate and embracer of the direct approach. I couldn't quite suss out when next you will see this woman. I think you said you are considering or actually planning on doing some volunteer work for an group in which she's quite active, yes? What about simply going up to her as things are winding down and tell her that you'd like to continue discussing what you learned, observed, experienced with "Perhaps we can do that over coffee now if you have the time" approach. That way you at least have an initial platform. You could always slip in the ol' "Unless your girlfriend would mind, of course." tidbit. Yeah, it's a bit cheesy, but it might answer that particular question for you. I know, I know, it's a total throwback way of doing it. I'm just tossing out ideas.

Regarding whether she IDs as butch, how vital is that to you? You like her, are attracted to her, is it of utmost importance because that dynamic, or the lack of it, is not a negotiable for you?

I have been known to approach someone and say, "I find you attractive. If you'd care to know more about that, please give me a call." hand them my card, and leave. I know it's a bit brazen for some, but because it tends to catch people a little off guard it intrigues and it works. As many others have said, I think the technique is much less important than the gesture. A simple, "I would like to get to know you." can do wonders. Really, who doesn't want to be known?

Good luck. Yay, romance.

10-24-2012, 07:28 PM	#15
Fatale Member How Do You Identify?: Not your average babe in the woods. Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Singular Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: The edge Posts: 210 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 22 Thanked 896 Times in 166 Posts Rep Power: 12150547	I've always been a big advocate and embracer of the direct approach. I couldn't quite suss out when next you will see this woman. I think you said you are considering or actually planning on doing some volunteer work for an group in which she's quite active, yes? What about simply going up to her as things are winding down and tell her that you'd like to continue discussing what you learned, observed, experienced with "Perhaps we can do that over coffee now if you have the time" approach. That way you at least have an initial platform. You could always slip in the ol' "Unless your girlfriend would mind, of course." tidbit. Yeah, it's a bit cheesy, but it might answer that particular question for you. I know, I know, it's a total throwback way of doing it. I'm just tossing out ideas. Regarding whether she IDs as butch, how vital is that to you? You like her, are attracted to her, is it of utmost importance because that dynamic, or the lack of it, is not a negotiable for you? I have been known to approach someone and say, "I find you attractive. If you'd care to know more about that, please give me a call." hand them my card, and leave. I know it's a bit brazen for some, but because it tends to catch people a little off guard it intrigues and it works. As many others have said, I think the technique is much less important than the gesture. A simple, "I would like to get to know you." can do wonders. Really, who doesn't want to be known? Good luck. Yay, romance.