Long Distance Relationships

[thedivahrrrself]

Originally Posted by meridiantoo

Diva,

Thanks for your reply!

The being easily misunderstood part is a huge issue for us at times. When you don't have the eye contact and body language to complete verbal communication, it's really hard to read your partner wrong, and for that to just spiral. We have to do 'reality checks' a lot and that becomes tedious at times. If both people are not true verbal communicators, that only exacerbates the muddy waters.

You know, I am guilty of the unrealistic and selfish expectation of having a fantastic visit each and every time. I am learning to mature in this area and realize it's also about life as it happens and about settling into a routine and lifestyle with someone. When you see one another every day, you don't consciously think about these things, they just automatically get addressed and you move on to the next thing. This is an excellent point you brought up. Thank you!

The uncertainty is HUGE with me sometimes and often, I can't even pinpoint why I feel that way, but I think it has to do with the lack of daily reinforcement. When she is quiet (she's not a strong verbal communicator like I am) I doubt her love and that insults her and discourages her. It becomes a vicious cycle.

More later...I have to get offline for a few...

You've given me a lot to think on, particularly regarding making visits "fantastic". You've hit on something there for me. I have unrealistic expectations for myself at times, and so I tend to feel that I have failed or ruined something when things aren't fantastic. That's probably not something I should keep putting myself, or my love, through.

It is good to hear from someone making things work. I wish for you that your situation allowed you to take the next step in your relationship.