Femme Led Relationships and Trans/Butch/Femme Bottoms

Martina · 05-19-2010, 12:36 AM

There is one Femme Top and Her boi (butch) who i love to see play. It is sooo hot. i have seen her serve the Dominant as well. Always hot and respectful and playful. Very dignified except when the poor boy was screaming in fear and pain.

However, i have wondered whether i have some of this prejudice. i have reacted to a few Femme Dominant-butch/trans sub couples with some squick. So i gave it a lot of thought.

i LOVE seeing butch-butch play and D/s. Nothing hotter, so clearly seeing boys abject in their submission and bottom space is not the issue. i like seeing boys exposed and hungry and afraid and adoring their Tops. Very hot.

Plus, i myself serve Femme Tops. So i was mystified by my reaction.

i figured it out finally. Quite a few of the boys i had seen with Femme Dominants ran a lot of puppy energy with their Ma'ams. Puppy energy at best just flattens me. At worst it is a big squick. (This is MY problem. i also get freaked by seeing folks in DEEP babygirl space, so it's not all about gender. Plus girls can be puppies.)

But i have thought about this -- whether i was someone who shared this prejudice.

i think i do in some ways. i had an acquaintance who is trans. He did not have a job for a long while and was making his femme partner fairly miserable during this period. So part of my displeasure with him was how big of a jerk he was being to his partner. But i also experienced that deep sexist judgement about a man not making a living, not supporting himself and, in fact, being supported by a woman. i REALLY experienced that. i was shocked at myself. This relationship was not femme-lead. But i do mention it because it was that kind of "man-up" reaction that i had. i was like how can you take up so much space and be such a foul mess when you aren't even making any money? i was floored by that reaction in me. But i had it.

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05-19-2010, 12:36 AM	#14
Martina Senior Member How Do You Identify?: * Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: * Posts: 4,999 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,409 Thanked 18,283 Times in 4,166 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	There is one Femme Top and Her boi (butch) who i love to see play. It is sooo hot. i have seen her serve the Dominant as well. Always hot and respectful and playful. Very dignified except when the poor boy was screaming in fear and pain. However, i have wondered whether i have some of this prejudice. i have reacted to a few Femme Dominant-butch/trans sub couples with some squick. So i gave it a lot of thought. i LOVE seeing butch-butch play and D/s. Nothing hotter, so clearly seeing boys abject in their submission and bottom space is not the issue. i like seeing boys exposed and hungry and afraid and adoring their Tops. Very hot. Plus, i myself serve Femme Tops. So i was mystified by my reaction. i figured it out finally. Quite a few of the boys i had seen with Femme Dominants ran a lot of puppy energy with their Ma'ams. Puppy energy at best just flattens me. At worst it is a big squick. (This is MY problem. i also get freaked by seeing folks in DEEP babygirl space, so it's not all about gender. Plus girls can be puppies.) But i have thought about this -- whether i was someone who shared this prejudice. i think i do in some ways. i had an acquaintance who is trans. He did not have a job for a long while and was making his femme partner fairly miserable during this period. So part of my displeasure with him was how big of a jerk he was being to his partner. But i also experienced that deep sexist judgement about a man not making a living, not supporting himself and, in fact, being supported by a woman. i REALLY experienced that. i was shocked at myself. This relationship was not femme-lead. But i do mention it because it was that kind of "man-up" reaction that i had. i was like how can you take up so much space and be such a foul mess when you aren't even making any money? i was floored by that reaction in me. But i had it.