The Mythical *Pass* for Differently-Abled People

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by Plato

My experience has been to not say anything about having been on a respirator for 2 months and not having enough oxygen to my brain, which changed me physically, emotionally, and mentally.
Some changes have been for the good. I just celebrated 11 years clean and sober, have a loving spouse and terrific custom-made family, and am on the edge of completing a 4 year college program for a B.S. degree.
Changes that are not so good is mainly that my bio-family doesn't recognize that inside challenges are also "disabilities". {By that I mean that my information processing is very different from the "norm".} They constantly expect and remind me of what I "should" be doing, without taking into account of what I am ABLE to do. It isn't for the lack of ambition, it's because I'm aware of what I'm capable of doing.

My CM-family learn and help each other to overcome our challenges, and help each other with things that are difficult or impossible. For example, the 12 yo supervises me with knifes, tells me to be careful when we are walking, and everyone knows we can not keep a supply of glassware because I tend to forget that I can't hang on to them, which results in broken glass.

Head patting is for sissies. Expect more and get more.

When I hear people say, "Well, He/She was drunk ... {fill in the blank}", it makes me cringe, cause that's the same kind of "pass" being referred to in this thread. To say, it's ok for someone to treat someone else in a crappy way because "He/She is ... {fill in the blank}", not only excuses bad/undesirable behavior, but sets a horrible example for the young ones. Children need to see adults treating each other compassionately and fairly.

Thanks honey. In case anyone didn't know we're married, Plato and I.

It was kismet that two people with brain injuries found each other. We were paralyzed on opposite sides of our bodies, so together we are a complete and functioning right and left.

I know that we both get our different abilities dismissed by our families. In some ugly ways.

I know that you and the kids understand that I cannot taste or smell. You all try to have food ideas that involve texture. The children know that the loss of two of my senses heightened the ones I have left. So if a stranger were to observe our family eat potato chips it would probably come off as very fucking strange. Everyone gingerly tries to fish a chip out of the bag without making crinkling noises. OR they dump them all out and get rid of the bag FAST so as to end the crinkling.

Noises hurt my head and make me feel very very angry. Paper is the worst I think.

We all take care of each other but nobody "gets away" with anything. Ever. We have a tough crowd. The kids have to have patience with two parents operating on limited short term and long term memory. So they are responsible for writing stuff down. Otherwise I am going to get mad and insist "I never said that".

Conversely, they both know how to use those very things to their advantage and will "work it". Sigh.

Thank god for chosen family.