Open Letter: Dear Femme

julieisafemme · 12-21-2009, 06:43 PM

snip
I dunno Julie... I will say frankly that sex and being Femme are inescapably entwined for me; I personally cannot be who I am as a Femme without acknowledging myself as a sexual being... if I weren't a sexual being, what would differentiate me from, say, a nun?

Well, okay, so I don't obey very well, lol... I would just have to be the Abbess or something. Mother Top.

I'm not certain how to answer you articulately... I was SO squashed before I came out, and it was only the power of wild lust that drove me to take a chance on loving a woman. There was nothing intellectual about THAT decision, no analysis; I didn't even have the language to understand a discussion like we're having today. Hell, I couldn't even admit that I was a Lesbian for years. When I finally got over the "I'm not a lesbian; I just happened to fall in love with a woman" phase, I stayed stuck in the "I must be bisexual" phase for a couple more years.

So for me, being Femme and being a sexual being, they are tied so tightly together that they're the same thing. For me, sexuality is part of femininity and I cannot see how I could be a Femme in any other way.

BUT certainly I am not a sexual being like the stars of pop culture are; to begin with, their image of sexuality is my image of famine, so I'm stymied at the get-go.

Does any of this even make sense or am I rambling like crazy here? I think I have to go make some tea and get caffeinated... well, anyhow, thank you for responding, Julie, and for your insights about what society promotes these days. I appreciate it.
[/QUOTE]

I was not being clear here. I not feminine or a femme for someone else's pleasure. I own my sexuality now and it is not caught up and attached to a idealistic, stylized version of the sexy straight woman. I did not come out for a partner. I came out for ME. I told my family and all those close to me that I was gay before I had ever met a butch face-to-face. I don't feel confined anymore by straight sexuality, practices or presentation. So to me being a femme is so much more than just who I sleep with or my orientation.

Tea is good!!! My beverage of choice.

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12-21-2009, 06:43 PM	#11
julieisafemme Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Woman Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Married to Greyson Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In the present Posts: 828 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,156 Thanked 3,434 Times in 660 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	snip I dunno Julie... I will say frankly that sex and being Femme are inescapably entwined for me; I personally cannot be who I am as a Femme without acknowledging myself as a sexual being... if I weren't a sexual being, what would differentiate me from, say, a nun? Well, okay, so I don't obey very well, lol... I would just have to be the Abbess or something. Mother Top. I'm not certain how to answer you articulately... I was SO squashed before I came out, and it was only the power of wild lust that drove me to take a chance on loving a woman. There was nothing intellectual about THAT decision, no analysis; I didn't even have the language to understand a discussion like we're having today. Hell, I couldn't even admit that I was a Lesbian for years. When I finally got over the "I'm not a lesbian; I just happened to fall in love with a woman" phase, I stayed stuck in the "I must be bisexual" phase for a couple more years. So for me, being Femme and being a sexual being, they are tied so tightly together that they're the same thing. For me, sexuality is part of femininity and I cannot see how I could be a Femme in any other way. BUT certainly I am not a sexual being like the stars of pop culture are; to begin with, their image of sexuality is my image of famine, so I'm stymied at the get-go. Does any of this even make sense or am I rambling like crazy here? I think I have to go make some tea and get caffeinated... well, anyhow, thank you for responding, Julie, and for your insights about what society promotes these days. I appreciate it. [/QUOTE] I was not being clear here. I not feminine or a femme for someone else's pleasure. I own my sexuality now and it is not caught up and attached to a idealistic, stylized version of the sexy straight woman. I did not come out for a partner. I came out for ME. I told my family and all those close to me that I was gay before I had ever met a butch face-to-face. I don't feel confined anymore by straight sexuality, practices or presentation. So to me being a femme is so much more than just who I sleep with or my orientation. Tea is good!!! My beverage of choice.