It Hurts Me.

[Toughy]

I went to a party a few weeks ago with someone who wanted to date me. She pulled up outside, and texted me to come on out.

Texting to come out is what I do with friends. Never ever would I do that if I was wanting to date someone or arriving to pick up a date. If this was a date, then I would be wondering lots of things about respect and how she treats dates or lovers or partners and other folks in general.

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I hate the term lady and I cringe every time I see it used in reference to any female-bodied human including femmes. It really does smack of the patriarchy to me. A lady does this and does not do that. Ladies don't show cleavage. Ladies don't act like sluts. Ladies don't swear. Ladies don't walk down the street smoking a cigarette. Ladies cannot open a door for themselves. Ladies do dress conservatively. Ladies wear dresses. Ladies are demur and soft-spoken. I don't think the word lady has come out of my mouth (or fingers) in years upon years.

I really don't treat femmes that much differently than I treat other human beings. I open building doors for everyone including men if I get there first. I open car doors for femmes if we are all dressed up and going on a date.....not likely to do it if we are going to the beach or a hike (but I will come to your door and not text you to come out). I say yes ma'am/sir, no ma'am/sir. I will give up my seat to an elder because I still have trouble remembering I am an elder....laughin....but not always anymore because I sometimes actually do need to sit for my own health reasons.

I think manners and politeness are universal and should be used by everyone. I don't know of a culture that says it's ok to push someone out of the way or knock them down to get ahead in the line. Saying excuse me if you bump someone is another polite thing. Not talking with your mouth full is universal. Burping is ok some places and not others.

Most manners are really just plain old common sense and come from a place of caring, respect and compassion. These things have nothing to do with age....they apply to all age groups.

enough blah blah blah from me