Mental Illness

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

For me, my boundaries are reasonable. I feel and believe certain truths. Some people I do believe, and trust in. Then there are some people who are outright liars seeking attention so they throw people under the bus to be a part of a click or group. This is both in real time and online. It is human nature. I was reminded of this by The Lady Snow and Sir Daywalker when I was talking about a Native American Indian movie I had just watched. It seems simple, but it isn't to have boundaries. It is hard. And I am sensitive, so it makes it even harder for me.

I struggle with new people who I have a new relationship with. I have no idea about their past. I am concerned with learning about them. However, if someone doesn't understand my limitations/disabilities they will not understand me.

I am more vocal online than in real time. I feel like the computer is easier for me to use. It is my voice. What is inside doesn't come out right. And some people are offended by what I say. It never is meant in a negative or nasty intention. Never.

However, lately, I feel like a misfit. I just don't belong. No matter what I say, it isn't the right words. Thank God we have Linus here. He has given us the smilies that do help me.

I have been in therapy for a number of years, but I had to stop. My therapists had exposed my sessions to my father. Now, this was long before HIPPA Rules/Laws were in effect, and other laws to protect the victims.

One of the biggest problems I have had held against me is gossip of me having multiple personalities. This was never undercovered in any of my therapy. I was just diagnosed with GID. I have my letters for srs, and hrt. That is it. It is rumors and gossip like this that piss me off. People just have too much time on their hands I think or are the ones intentionally seeking to hurt me. What they don't realize is that there are some folks here online who do have that disorder, and do seek comfort online here for that. Their unkind remarks really hurt those folks, not me. So in hurting one - me, you really hurt all of us, which is a Buddist principle, which I practice. I try to stress this but it seems to fall on deaf ears. I am not sure of why.

I really do wonder if it's the neurological differences that account for most of this Andrew. I don't get it either.

I too am amazed at some of the lies I see...not on this website, but in real life. Lies and secrets. I am not even good at feelings, and some of it seems so blaringly obvious.

I am very sensitive too and have always been. My meds help, but I think we are similar in that regard.

I can't even imgine how it must have feel for your therapists to not have kept your confidence. A doctor once told my father some stuff and I am still not over it. The feeling of no privacy or betrayal. I am so sorry this happened to you. Do know that if you return to therapy no one can say a word of it at the cost of their careers.