Are butches really a dying breed?

[alexri]

Originally Posted by LadyRieinAL

eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy I think I just figured it out OS = old school?

I'm an old school femme, I think.....
I want someone to open my door

And as a butch, I totally respect all you want someone to do for you, and that's what I expect/want my roles/jobs to be. And I enjoy doing all that for a femme if it makes her happy. It's done out of love, respect and admiration, or as rituals of the relationship. I do it not because I *have* to but because I *want* to.

In discussions about this w/ other queer friends, some femmes said they didn't want all this because they didn't want to be seen as weaker/lesser, or stuck in 1950's female roles, where the wife just cooked and smiled and looked pretty. I tried to convey that none of these actions are done by a butch to make you feel lesser, not equal, or too weak to handle any of this. And many butches don't do it to carry on hetero roles. It's done as a sign of affection for one's lady. But I don't think some see it that way.

I have heard both extremes from women... that I am not butch enough... and on the other side, sadly from some lesbians, that they might as well just date a guy. I try to explain that we all have our own strengths and weaknesses and sometimes they blur along genderlines.

All the earlier comments about the impact of social media and television make a lot of sense. GLBT visibility is completely different now than it was 10, 20, 30 years ago. When the L Word came out, there were so many Shane look-a-likes it was sad. And when Queer As Folk was out, it was all about the club scene for a lot of gay men. It was like straight teens and fashion magazines... "oh this is what I'm supposed to look like." Just MHO.