Things you should never say on a date.

Nattih · 12-13-2015, 04:23 PM

"oh yeah, I used to be very successful and i spoiled my ex wife. She never had to lift a finger. *proceeds to pull out proof*"

"Can we just share an entree?"

- same person

Shystonefem · 12-13-2015, 04:53 PM

Oh, I know your ex, I know all about you.

UGH!!!

MsTinkerbelly · 12-13-2015, 06:04 PM

Other than a few strange first dates, the one thing that used to irritate the heck out of me was something being mentioned by quite a few people here.

Please stfu about your ex....get over her before you start dating again, and then leave her in the past where she belongs. One person I dated talked about their ex in EVERY conversation we had during the time we dated.

I hope they didn't do that with the next gf

imperfect_cupcake · 12-13-2015, 07:12 PM

I surf that one. I don't think there is anything wrong talking about your exes (or am I the only one with several exes in my life?) in regards to talking about *your* life. Like if you are telling a story about a vacation you took and you were married for 9 years, it's likely much of your recent life is going to have stories that include ones ex. Fact of life. I don't want people to never talk abut the stories of their life because they fell in love and had sex before dating me. I *love* stories about people's lives. And if people edit their exes out of them, that's just weird.

But *pining* about ones recent ex in front of a new date is bad form. So is endless ranting.

There is a difference in talking about your life with exes in it, and talking about one recent ex in particular in an obsessive manner.

I want to get to know people, their lives, their histories, their stories... That's going to have stories with exes in them as characters that are part of the play about their lives.

Obsessing about someone you've just broken up with while meeting another is poor form. Maybe just look for casual date sex while going through that.

MsTinkerbelly · 12-13-2015, 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by imperfect_cupcake

I surf that one. I don't think there is anything wrong talking about your exes (or am I the only one with several exes in my life?) in regards to talking about *your* life. Like if you are telling a story about a vacation you took and you were married for 9 years, it's likely much of your recent life is going to have stories that include ones ex. Fact of life. I don't want people to never talk abut the stories of their life because they fell in love and had sex before dating me. I *love* stories about people's lives. And if people edit their exes out of them, that's just weird.

But *pining* about ones recent ex in front of a new date is bad form. So is endless ranting.

There is a difference in talking about your life with exes in it, and talking about one recent ex in particular in an obsessive manner.

I want to get to know people, their lives, their histories, their stories... That's going to have stories with exes in them as characters that are part of the play about their lives.

Obsessing about someone you've just broken up with while meeting another is poor form. Maybe just look for casual date sex while going through that.

Our lives include experiences with other people, and they are a part of my conversation if appropriate to the situation...but we all know the difference between mentioning an ex in a conversation, and making every conversation a conversation about an ex.

I believe we agree about that

Although i have to say, I love the way you put your thoughts into writing!

imperfect_cupcake · 12-14-2015, 12:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MsTinkerbelly

Our lives include experiences with other people, and they are a part of my conversation if appropriate to the situation...but we all know the difference between mentioning an ex in a conversation, and making every conversation a conversation about an ex.

I believe we agree about that

Although i have to say, I love the way you put your thoughts into writing!

I have done it though. And I feel bad for the woman I did it to. She was very empathetic and we had a couple fabulous dates and really fun sex but it was too soon and I didn't realize it till I was curled up in her bathroom having a cry. I think most people are too distressed about their break up understand they are being a giant twat.

I think I was very lucky after my wife to find someone who had just been left by *their* wife so we could get together for friendship, , dates, sex and mutual bitching and crying. We certainly weren't looking for "the one".

I wish the was a "recently been dumped" website where you could find mutual support, sex and fun without trying the patience of the general dating public lol

homoe · 02-06-2016, 06:29 PM

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12-13-2015, 04:53 PM	#2
Shystonefem Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Shy for President Join Date: May 2014 Location: NH Posts: 1,105 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,475 Thanked 3,671 Times in 897 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	Oh, I know your ex, I know all about you. UGH!!! __________________ Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. ~Lao Tzu

12-13-2015, 07:12 PM	#4
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I surf that one. I don't think there is anything wrong talking about your exes (or am I the only one with several exes in my life?) in regards to talking about your life. Like if you are telling a story about a vacation you took and you were married for 9 years, it's likely much of your recent life is going to have stories that include ones ex. Fact of life. I don't want people to never talk abut the stories of their life because they fell in love and had sex before dating me. I love stories about people's lives. And if people edit their exes out of them, that's just weird. But pining about ones recent ex in front of a new date is bad form. So is endless ranting. There is a difference in talking about your life with exes in it, and talking about one recent ex in particular in an obsessive manner. I want to get to know people, their lives, their histories, their stories... That's going to have stories with exes in them as characters that are part of the play about their lives. Obsessing about someone you've just broken up with while meeting another is poor form. Maybe just look for casual date sex while going through that. Last edited by imperfect_cupcake; 12-13-2015 at 07:14 PM.

12-13-2015, 04:23 PM	#1
Nattih Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: May 2010 Location: always on a plane Posts: 174 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 285 Thanked 633 Times in 164 Posts Rep Power: 13046651	"oh yeah, I used to be very successful and i spoiled my ex wife. She never had to lift a finger. proceeds to pull out proof" "Can we just share an entree?" - same person

12-13-2015, 06:04 PM	#3
MsTinkerbelly Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: ... Preferred Pronoun?: ... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ... Posts: 6,573 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,737 Thanked 22,901 Times in 5,017 Posts Rep Power: 0	Other than a few strange first dates, the one thing that used to irritate the heck out of me was something being mentioned by quite a few people here. Please stfu about your ex....get over her before you start dating again, and then leave her in the past where she belongs. One person I dated talked about their ex in EVERY conversation we had during the time we dated. I hope they didn't do that with the next gf

02-06-2016, 06:29 PM	#7
homoe Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: ..... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle Posts: 38,565 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,811 Thanked 33,548 Times in 14,914 Posts Rep Power: 21474889	BUMP BUMP BUMP