Caregivers and Stress

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by Chad

I am sorry Dee, that sounds very unpleasant.

Chad,

Gosh please accept my apology for my rant. My mom is giving me a really hard time right now, and, i think when i read about you & your mom having your *normal* plans etc. it totally triggered me. It happens now and then. This is not how its supposed to be.

i definitely did not mean to go on like that ! Whew that was quite a spew of emotion.

i am glad this space is here, believe me, i love my mom. i remind myself that she is doing the best she can. I am doing the best i can. its an extremely difficult relationship to manage (which i why i am the only one left to handle her) and i don't feel i have done a good job. Totally my stuff.


This adulting sure is a LOT of work!

[Chad]

Originally Posted by girl_dee

Chad,

Gosh please accept my apology for my rant. My mom is giving me a really hard time right now, and, i think when i read about you & your mom having your *normal* plans etc. it totally triggered me. It happens now and then. This is not how its supposed to be.

i definitely did not mean to go on like that ! Whew that was quite a spew of emotion.

i am glad this space is here, believe me, i love my mom. i remind myself that she is doing the best she can. I am doing the best i can. its an extremely difficult relationship to manage (which i why i am the only one left to handle her) and i don't feel i have done a good job. Totally my stuff.


This adulting sure is a LOT of work!

Dee, I apologize for upsetting you. I am worried about giving up my privacy when my mom comes to live at my ranch. Being a child of an aging parent is a lot harder than I imagined.

I am grateful for this thread too. We can all help each other. We are not alone and that feels good.

Chad

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by Chad

Dee, I apologize for upsetting you. I am worried about giving up my privacy when my mom comes to live at my ranch. Being a child of an aging parent is a lot harder than I imagined.

I am grateful for this thread too. We can all help each other. We are not alone and that feels good.

Chad

Yes...

i think for some parents its not a big deal, they respect your privacy. My mom has no boundaries.

If i could do it again........i don't even know.

[girl_dee]

Well my mom hasn't spoken to me since Easter.

She said she was going to stay home all day and cry. My aunt and my sister took her out for the day and she had a good time.

But she still is punishing me. i am going to try again to reach out to her.

[girl_dee]

thank you to the person who sent me the message about not contacting my mom. i REALLY appreciate the insight.

Well she contacted me this morning. She sent me a photo of some newsletter she got from the facility where she lives. It was something crazy about HUD being discontinued and her losing her housing benefits.

and her comment was

"i am going to be living under a bridge"

i responded that i am sorry but thats not going to happen. Nothing i could do to make her stop going off.. so i just left the conversation.

This is weighing on me big time.

[girl_dee]

Thanks to all the folks who sent me messages. i know i am not alone and it sure feels good.

i feel like the worst daughter ever.. she's my MOM i am told. i know who she is. She has never acted like one.

Yes (thank you) i feel like an orphan. i haven't had *parents* in forever.

i don't know if my father is dead or alive, but if he is dead, i won't shed a tear.

[girl_dee]

well, i tried to fix things by calling my mom on FaceTime this morning. i started off real positive and cheerful. That did not last long.

She became hysterically angry at me. She was crying and saying some pretty ugly things. i definitely have lost my good daughter card.

i also realized yesterday, that when things with my mom get flared up, i slide into old self destructive patterns.

its a cycle.