The Psychology of Online Dating

[knight]

Absolutely not for me. I think its impossible to constantly have capacity for something that is long term. In my opinion, dating is a great way to discover yourself and to grow as a person. I do not believe that in a lifetime that we should always dive into the idea of a marriage. How does one truly understand their need without experiencing life in that way?

I think its great for others that are on a constant search for that one and to be in a position where they can always have capacity for the possibility.

For me it does not work that way. There are stages in life where I feel people have no business diving into a long term relationship.. When do we grow as humans, when do we find out what our truth is.

No right or wrong answer here... but that is my feeling on the matter.

Originally Posted by 2qt

I feel there is just too much stigma given to the words Online/Real life, local/LD.... Dating I think is just how one views it... Some consider it just online dating whilst others see it as something much deeper & much more personal to them...

Why can't we just name it.... Getting to know someone? The word dating seems to box it into this little square of perception that dating is only possible if it's done in real time or if they live within x amount of miles from me.... I don't feel that to be true... You often can't control who you fall for... Love is just love...

For me it was much more personal then just an online date thing... I was spending the same amount of my real time quality time getting to know my potential partner then as I would in my real life...

If you want something to work it's like anything... Effort needs to be made & you need to know what it is you're both reaching for & you're both on the same page otherwise it will never work...

Originally Posted by Lyte

I'm a tad confused.

If two people are on a "date" or are dating... shouldn't the safe presumption that each is ... in the long run... or at some point... looking for a wife/partner?

Yes, going dates is to learn more about a person but the inherent meaning behind going on a date is that the goal of the parties is to see if they can be ... more than friends. If either individual is not spending time with the other with that goal in mind... can we be more than friends... then that person has an obligation to be make it very clear... this is not a date.

[2qt]

I hear what you're saying & agree to some extent...

It's all really our own perceptions I believe...

To me when I go on a date with someone, it has no stigma attached to it, IE... I am not dating them to marry them or uhaul myself into their home, I am not dating them to be their partner at the end of that date, I date to get to know the person I am feeling attraction towards etc & to see where things lead...

But I guess the hope would be there for this to be something more if we hit it off very well for it to be long term partners/marriage.... Otherwise I would just consider it a friendship.....

I have never considered dating a friend as a means to get to know them or myself....My friendships have been pretty much developed known from the start it would be nothing more then a friendship...

Originally Posted by knight

Absolutely not for me. I think its impossible to constantly have capacity for something that is long term. In my opinion, dating is a great way to discover yourself and to grow as a person. I do not believe that in a lifetime that we should always dive into the idea of a marriage. How does one truly understand their need without experiencing life in that way?

I think its great for others that are on a constant search for that one and to be in a position where they can always have capacity for the possibility.

For me it does not work that way. There are stages in life where I feel people have no business diving into a long term relationship.. When do we grow as humans, when do we find out what our truth is.

No right or wrong answer here... but that is my feeling on the matter.