The Psychology of Online Dating

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by Lyte

Oh yeah... I get that date/dating has different meanings/motives for different people. BUT... it's important to realize that there is a generally understood/accepted meaning/motive to date/dating ... even if it doesn't apply to us.

A quick Google of the definition ...

1. establish or ascertain the date of (an object or event).
2. indicate or expose as being old-fashioned.
3. go out with (someone in whom one is romantically or sexually interested).

Or WIKI...

"Dating is a stage of romantic or sexual relationships in humans whereby two or more people meet socially, possibly as friends or with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a prospective partner in a more committed intimate relationship or marriage. It can be a form of courtship that consists of social activities done by the couple."

So... as long as one verbalizes to the other party ... in advance... that their particular definition does not follow/align with the generally accepted definition of date/dating... I say go for it! To do otherwise will very likely lead to a misunderstanding and hurt feelings.

Do not agree here. if i go on a date with someone, i am under no obligation to disclose my intentions. If they are seeing a life partner, thats on them. If i KNOW they are looking for a wife, i do disclose that i am not interested in that.




i also found a simple definition of a date...

date1
dāt/Submit
noun
1.
the day of the month or year as specified by a number.
"what's the date today?"
synonyms: day, day of the month, occasion, time; More
2.
a social or romantic appointment or engagement.
"a college student on a date with someone he met in class"
synonyms: appointment, meeting, engagement, rendezvous, assignation; commitment
"a lunch date"

[Lyte]

I don't understand this. Please clarify.

Originally Posted by girl_dee

Do not agree here. if i go on a date with someone, i am under no obligation to disclose my intentions. If they are seeing a life partner, thats on them.

We are in agreement here. If you want something different than the person you're dating, you let them know.

Originally Posted by girl_dee

If i KNOW they are looking for a wife, i do disclose that i am not interested in that

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Lyte

Sure!

I was responding to knight and dee's response to my previous post. I believe they had the impression that I believed ... or was saying... that the sole or primary purpose of dating was to find a life partner. That's not what was saying. That's not my belief. So, I was clarifying that I understand that the sole/primary purpose of dating is NOT to find a life partner. However... and even so... lol .... I do believe that going on a date does have an inherent ... or historical... meaning for most people. Therefore it's incumbent upon those who see dating differently to articulate to those they are dating exactly what dating means to them. N'est–ce pas?

This is why I asked this question elsewhere ... why does "getting to know someone" require going on a date?

Have I better clarified my clarification??

Oh... and... I have no idea who the "poly folk" are on BFP. I wasn't even aware poly relationships had entered the discussion.

Thank you for the clarification of your clarification.