Trans people talking to other trans people

[Dean Thoreau]

Ohhhhhh, thanks for all the information. I think I shall be seeking physical outlets as soon as I heal from surgery ( I am developing the understanding of teenaged boys, no wonder they were ... )
I think I am lucky right now, only getting perpetually aroused when I hear the gf’s voice... feeling like Charlie Brown and Lucy with the football.

So not to sound stupid here guys, but that electrical charge that hits then the lingering desire if not fulfilled . I now understand why guys grab themselves and (adjust so frequently) tho that seems to not work very well. After this raise to 75 per week it seems to be at a real strong desire about 12 hours and lasts for abt 48 hrs and now is there but shall I say manageable... can’t wait for Sunday when things are at the low.
Oh yeah news I dropped 36 pounds since surgery, so I am 1/3 of the way to my goal; and it’s strange I am being referred to as a female more now than b4surgery. My gf says it’s the tell tale mannerisms,,, so I am relearning how to develop more confidence and be less self conscious . I will confess I am avoiding wash rooms that are not all gender.

[Esme nha Maire]

Originally Posted by Dean Thoreau

... and it’s strange I am being referred to as a female more now than b4surgery. My gf says it’s the tell tale mannerisms,,, so I am relearning how to develop more confidence and be less self conscious . I will confess I am avoiding wash rooms that are not all gender.

I suspect it won't take you too long to adjust your mannerisms, Dean. And it's absolutely the right idea to try to be less self conscious. One can't help but be a little self-conscious after a big change of this nature, but the thing to do is "own" the change; it's just you becoming the proper you, rather than continuing to present as something you were not against your own instincts, and if the world doesn't like it, then the world can go take a long walk off a short pier. All the best, Dean! xx

[Dean Thoreau]

I have been slowly building up to an identity change on Facebook. Yesterday, I finally said wtf and did it. Figured I would get it all out of the way at once. First 3 responses were positive...so I guess I am on a roll. The ones who blocked me for my political beliefs are prolly the same ones that wouldn’t want to hear this.

I don’t know but at this stage I really don’t care, I look at myself in the mirror and I am proud of who I see.
My immediate family..mother and brother we r estranged, they will hear by the Facebook grapevine.

My real real immediate fam, my kids and gf....they already know and that is all that matters. I didn’t say TG I just changed my name, and said..yes changes have happened, don’t bother to ask, cause I will not be answering.....
I did that because I don’t want to become their token TG, and answer stupid questions,,,or listen to stupid comments. And a bunch of my far extended fam is stuck in the 50’s andopt for ignorance as their education, I just can not tolerate the crap.
So I figured I would put out the name change and let them wonder, they know me well enough when I. Say don’t ask they don’t...I am the older cuz, at on time the matriarch but now no longer, just another guy on the guy side of the family tree.

That’s the weird part.... I’m a white male...... I’m no a woman vet, I’m a vet, I’m no longer a minority I have just ended up in the straight white male category of life.....is this why I try to hang on to the TG\FTM category, so I don’t have to deal with that SWM designation, and can still not think of myself as one?

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Dean Thoreau

That’s the weird part.... I’m a white male...... I’m no a woman vet, I’m a vet, I’m no longer a minority I have just ended up in the straight white male category of life.....is this why I try to hang on to the TG\FTM category, so I don’t have to deal with that SWM designation, and can still not think of myself as one?

I think that for some white trans men (which I am defining here as white female identified at birth individuals, who are on testosterone and are living full time as male), our queer identities are important to us, so we hang onto the transgender / FTM identity.

I think that white trans men (whether older or younger), who were never a part of the lesbian/queer/Butch-Femme community have an easier time, and are more eager, to accept the straight male label, as this is most likely how they have always identified, they had just not had the opportunity to transition yet.

Also, some of us, especially those who have been a part of the lesbian and/or queer community (in my opinion), look at straight, white males with a lens that is...well, pretty much, of distaste. Or at least I always have, and continue to in some ways, due to the shit white, straight/closeted males in America have done to all minority groups (of every shape and form). So, we struggle with aligning ourselves with this group.

However, it could also be as simple as you not feeling comfortable with the SWM moniker because you have literally JUST started to transition. So, you have not only not had time to "try on" that identity, but that identity has not yet been reflected back to you by the public. (I am assuming here that you are not gendered as male 100% of the time). After that starts happening, you might identify more with the SWM moniker. It may just be a transition from one to the other (no pun intended).

[Kätzchen]

I hope it's okay to leave this in your forum thread Dapper! Thanks for all you do for the Trans community, here.

[Esme nha Maire]

Wow. Thanks for sharing how things are going with you as you've gone through your changes, Dean. It's been educational for me to hear of the things that are different for you guys than for us women. And y'know what? I hadn't considered for a moment that guys like you and Dapper might feel some unease at claiming the identity that better fits you (as against just BEING it). That's got to be tough.

However, not all cisgender guys are unpleasant types, there are good guys as well as bad guys, as with all sizable groups of folk. And you align with the good guys? That's great! More power to your elbow! You're tipping the balance in favour of the good, you've just increased the chances that the next interaction some woman has with a guy is going to be a positive one by a tiny fraction. This is A Good Thing. Keep up the good work!

[Dean Thoreau]

I love this section of the forum. Such affirming comments and bluntly I come here and just read from time to time; makes me feel better.

Ok so I am now up to 100 mg of T every week, on the 30th I get blood work and as long as that looks good will increase to 150 on June 12. My bp is lower than it has ever been,, except for a major amount of sexual desire... no bad side effects...with the exception of developing the male stupidity as my gf calls it. I keep saying I thought I already had that and she laughs and says see I’m right.