Showing scars: what are your relationship fears?

[RebelDyke]

I admit i have shut down. I dont feel like getting invested in a relationship anymore. One month, 3years, 20 years. Nothing lasts. It is only a matter of time before it ends. Or you have to be highly tolerant.

Not saying this is this way for everyone. Kudos to those who have found a way to make it work. It is just no longer a thing for me. Relationships that is

[cathexis]

Relationships are difficult, they require much work and maintenance. Longterm ones tend to get a little easier as you get to know one another's reactions and idiosyncrasies, but like a garden has to tended daily or it will cease to be what you imagined when starting. Both my Partner and I work at our relationship continually, which is how we stayed together and in love for 25 years (in 2 mos). Also, we reinvent or tweak it every now and again. We make minor adjustments, but it has always remained D/s and strong.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by RebelDyke

I admit i have shut down. I dont feel like getting invested in a relationship anymore. One month, 3years, 20 years. Nothing lasts. It is only a matter of time before it ends. Or you have to be highly tolerant.

Not saying this is this way for everyone. Kudos to those who have found a way to make it work. It is just no longer a thing for me. Relationships that is

I understand this feeling. While I've had great experiences with a very few wonderful people over the course of my life, most of my choices have not been wise. I got my mother's 'picker' I suppose. She was in a race with Liz Taylor to see who could marry the most before they passed. She was close, too.

I tend to go all in once I feel the relationship is solid and that's just not smart emotionally, psychologically and most definitely financially. Not with the people I choose. I lose my individuality and self and common sense too.

So, romantic relationships are no longer for me. When I was mulling it over...whether to 'keep trying' and 'putting myself out there'...I thought I'd be sad but I'm not. I'm content with the decision.

[Greco]

I've been thinking and most importantly feeling about this topic
all day today...and what I'm about to share is my decision...what
I know for myself...I've lived a good life so far, have had a twenty
year love that I will forever be grateful for...before she died she
told me to allow another love in my life. It's been many years
now and what I know for sure is that when that person and I
find each other, if that is to be...then it will be a gift indeed.
And if not, then life is still a most wondrous gift.

Do I fear betrayal? No, to each their own really...my heart and
mind have survived the darkest most painful times as many of you
here share...and when the greatest loss in your life happens...betrayal
is the least worry.

I will and do say, YES to love and friendship and know that if I'm
lucky enough to know my last day on this earth...then...well then...
I leave love and safety and caring...and a full life.

I'm not perfect G-d knows...my new wife will not be perfect...but
we are both human...and my desire is to continue living my life
as fully as I can and I KNOW that if and when she is to be with me
...then it will be good because we will allow it to be good.
I will be loved again and she will be loved fully as well.

Thank you for reading...I wish us all much love.

Greco

[JDeere]

Not having the communication I deserve.

[JDeere]

Mixed signals... Idk how to take them or decipher them.

[homoe]

~~
I don't believe I have any actual fears of another relationship, HOWEVER I'll never forget the feel of abandonment!