Ask a trans person!

[Logicaly]

As of right now, I do use the womens restroom. However that being said, I have not started T, nor had any surgeries. It is however very akward for me to use the womens restroom, as there are times that I do get looks, or I have been stopped by men, from entering the womens restroom. Once I am more passable, I fully intend to use the mens room.

That being said, I do think that if a person can pass no problem as a male, then they have no business in the womens restroom. I cant imagine why they would want to bring that discomfort onto a total stranger, and I guess for me, since I feel such discomfort already with being in the womens room, that I cant imagine that it wouldnt make someone who is completely passable, extremely uncomfortable in the womens room.

[chefhmboyrd]

Originally Posted by Logicaly

As of right now, I do use the womens restroom. However that being said, I have not started T, nor had any surgeries. It is however very akward for me to use the womens restroom, as there are times that I do get looks, or I have been stopped by men, from entering the womens restroom. Once I am more passable, I fully intend to use the mens room.

That being said, I do think that if a person can pass no problem as a male, then they have no business in the womens restroom. I cant imagine why they would want to bring that discomfort onto a total stranger, and I guess for me, since I feel such discomfort already with being in the womens room, that I cant imagine that it wouldnt make someone who is completely passable, extremely uncomfortable in the womens room.

it is not a matter of "passable" it is in your mind. if you walk in there like you have been in there your whole life, then you got no worries. walk in there scared like a lil girl an you will get nervous and think everyone is staring at you. it is up to you to decide when you are ready. and if you are uncomfortable going in the women's room, then it's past the time bucko.

@

[The Oopster]

Originally Posted by chefhmboyrd

it is not a matter of "passable" it is in your mind. if you walk in there like you have been in there your whole life, then you got no worries. walk in there scared like a lil girl an you will get nervous and think everyone is staring at you. it is up to you to decide when you are ready. and if you are uncomfortable going in the women's room, then it's past the time bucko.

@

dang not sure how long ago but it was a couple years ago ... I hadn't started injectible T yet. Was on the cream but still didn't completely pass. Mainly my voice though but some people could figure it out.

I was on jury duty ... went into the women's bathroom the first day and right away could tell that wasn't going to work. Since no one knew my legal name, I was just a number I used the mens that whole week. Of the four people I hung out with, I think 2 of them figured it out but it was cool they were respectful and as far as I know didn't say anything to the 3 rd. In fact he cranked the song "detachable penis" while I was in the car .... it was hilarious cause he was totally clueless.

My other funny bathroom story was some cranky ol guy at my AA meeting was getting after me for using the unisex/family/handicap bathroom not too long ago. I tease with everyone that i'm the only one that fits all three symbols on the sign.

I started using mens changing rooms about the same time I started using the mens restroom. Targets have everything in one area now so it's no big deal but other places I was buying in the mens so it was just easiest to go in there and no one ever said anything. There were times a sales clerk would have to help me also.

I 've known women to use the mens that don't even pass at all if they got to go and it has no line. The men may tilt or shake their head but that's as far as it goes.

It's just hard to realize the dynamics are so different until you just go ahead and use it.

I started in areas where I wasn't going to run into people I knew. If around my parents I would decide I had to go after they were all done. I'm not around dad often so I think that would still be weird but I do go into the mens room with a ton of other men that have seen me go through this process, and to my face no one has said anything except the story I posted above when I didn't use the mens room.

[tuffboi29]

So I've been in here a few times...and not just out of curiosity. I had passed of living as a guy for about 6 monthes one time and had never been happier.
Although I never exposed that side of me to my family and now that I'm living near them I can't pass it off at all as they are well known in the community.
I was asked today when I look in the mirror what do I see? I answered..."I see what should have been a guy".
Because of the predjudices I've grown up with and in this community I havent had much exposure to the life I want to live. To be blunt I'm a bit scared and confused.
Luckily I have a wonderful woman by my side helping me explore deeper into myself than I was ever willing to go on my own. As a matter of fact...she was the one who got me to admit not only to her but myself the true nature of my feelings and thoughts.
I know I'm rambling a bit guys...I'm sorry.
Maybe this is a reach-out to those who may understand my angst, confusion, and need to simply be me? Idk...
Any feedback would be appreciated as I am dieing to know if I'm the only one feeling this way?

[Liam]

Originally Posted by tuffboi29

So I've been in here a few times...and not just out of curiosity. I had passed of living as a guy for about 6 monthes one time and had never been happier.
Although I never exposed that side of me to my family and now that I'm living near them I can't pass it off at all as they are well known in the community.
I was asked today when I look in the mirror what do I see? I answered..."I see what should have been a guy".
Because of the predjudices I've grown up with and in this community I havent had much exposure to the life I want to live. To be blunt I'm a bit scared and confused.
Luckily I have a wonderful woman by my side helping me explore deeper into myself than I was ever willing to go on my own. As a matter of fact...she was the one who got me to admit not only to her but myself the true nature of my feelings and thoughts.
I know I'm rambling a bit guys...I'm sorry.
Maybe this is a reach-out to those who may understand my angst, confusion, and need to simply be me? Idk...
Any feedback would be appreciated as I am dieing to know if I'm the only one feeling this way?

I will never forget the first time a woman looked at me, and saw me—really saw me. I had spent so many years thinking that it was all in my head. It was one of the most delightful moments of my life.

Best of luck tuff!

[tuffboi29]

First of all...Thanks guys...Seriously...Thank you.
So right now I'm quietly and discreetly packing...umm...My boxerbriefs.
Besides this and one other post I haven't spoken about this with anyone but my girlfriend.
I have to say it feels...idk...right?
I'm just learning what this in me is exactly...definitions and such...But more importantly how alot of this applies to me.How I relate to it.
I've just recently admitted for the first time my first fantisies.Which were of girls.And as myself in the male role.
What I thought of as a child. Could I maybe wake one morn and be a boy? Would I finally be "right" then?
When I first realized I was a girl I was made to use a public womens restroom for the first time by myself. I was horrified and thought there was a very serious mistake on the adult's part in making me go in there. I kept thinking just why the HELL they would force me go in THERE with the GIRLS?
Before I was old enough to understand the difference between the boys and girls, I ran with my bio male cousins on the farm...I ran about shirtless with them, hunted and went fishing with them, climbed trees and explored the woods and farmlands.I was one of them.
I remember trying to explain to my ma just why I shouldn't go to the girls bathroom or wear dresses and even the time I told her I was goin to marry a girl one day....the words she used to describe MY thoughts and MY f****** feelings (when I was once told my thoughts and feelings were just THAT...MINE!)...I was told I was unnatural...god would call me an abonmination...I better NEVER tell anyone else lest I embarressed the family at church...Guys, I was sent to a M*****F****** christian therapy camp to help "cure" me of these evil thoughts for surely the devil was tempting me to go against god's will.
When I was older and with my ex-wife I saw a news report back in '99 about a successfull operation to make a female into a male. My first thought was "OMG MY WHOLE LIFE COULD BE THE WAY IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!"
Stupid me tried to open up about it to my ex and once again the words that were lashed at me shut me up all over.(What if she told my parents?!They had me committed once for this.)
So untill these past 4 months my thoughts on this subject were as limited as my knowledge and understanding.
I feel like I'm rambling again so I'm goin to end this with a final thought and thanks.
My thanks is to my wonderful ya'fa girlfriend who brought me not only to this site but took the time and patience to help me understand what myself and others had sought to destroy and hide.(And of course she ever so discretely guided me to FTM threads and friends of hers...lol)
My final thought is for you guys.The bravery it must have took to forge this path!! I will never be able to express my gratitude too be able to finally speak freely and ask the questions I was never given the chance too.

[JustLovelyJenn]

Originally Posted by tuffboi29

First of all...Thanks guys...Seriously...Thank you.
So right now I'm quietly and discreetly packing...umm...My boxerbriefs.
Besides this and one other post I haven't spoken about this with anyone but my girlfriend.
I have to say it feels...idk...right?
I'm just learning what this in me is exactly...definitions and such...But more importantly how alot of this applies to me.How I relate to it.
I've just recently admitted for the first time my first fantisies.Which were of girls.And as myself in the male role.
What I thought of as a child. Could I maybe wake one morn and be a boy? Would I finally be "right" then?
When I first realized I was a girl I was made to use a public womens restroom for the first time by myself. I was horrified and thought there was a very serious mistake on the adult's part in making me go in there. I kept thinking just why the HELL they would force me go in THERE with the GIRLS?
Before I was old enough to understand the difference between the boys and girls, I ran with my bio male cousins on the farm...I ran about shirtless with them, hunted and went fishing with them, climbed trees and explored the woods and farmlands.I was one of them.
I remember trying to explain to my ma just why I shouldn't go to the girls bathroom or wear dresses and even the time I told her I was goin to marry a girl one day....the words she used to describe MY thoughts and MY f****** feelings (when I was once told my thoughts and feelings were just THAT...MINE!)...I was told I was unnatural...god would call me an abonmination...I better NEVER tell anyone else lest I embarressed the family at church...Guys, I was sent to a M*****F****** christian therapy camp to help "cure" me of these evil thoughts for surely the devil was tempting me to go against god's will.
When I was older and with my ex-wife I saw a news report back in '99 about a successfull operation to make a female into a male. My first thought was "OMG MY WHOLE LIFE COULD BE THE WAY IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!"
Stupid me tried to open up about it to my ex and once again the words that were lashed at me shut me up all over.(What if she told my parents?!They had me committed once for this.)
So untill these past 4 months my thoughts on this subject were as limited as my knowledge and understanding.
I feel like I'm rambling again so I'm goin to end this with a final thought and thanks.
My thanks is to my wonderful ya'fa girlfriend who brought me not only to this site but took the time and patience to help me understand what myself and others had sought to destroy and hide.(And of course she ever so discretely guided me to FTM threads and friends of hers...lol)
My final thought is for you guys.The bravery it must have took to forge this path!! I will never be able to express my gratitude too be able to finally speak freely and ask the questions I was never given the chance too.

Baby,

I wanted to stop and tell you how proud I am of you today. How hard I know it must have been to come here and say these things, what a big step this is for you. You have a wonderful, beautiful soul and it fits perfectly with who you are and should be.

What I saw in you as we first started talking was someone who was so much more then they were allowing themselves to be. THIS, is part of that person you have hidden from the world. I am so happy and excited to see you embracing that in you which makes you who you are and bring you happiness and completion.

As you explore yourself and this new and wonderful world you never new was around you, I will be right there by your side. I will quietly hold your hands and answer what questions I can, or send you to those who can if I cant. I will wait patiently as you ponder what is in you and come to decisions about how you want to be seen by the world. YOU are who I fell in love with. ALL OF YOU! I am excited for you to see that person the way I do.

I love you so much and I will always support you to the best of my ability.

With all the love I posses,

Your Heart, as You are Mine.

[Jet]

Originally Posted by Rufusboi

The word INVADE means to intrude upon or encroach upon.

If you enter the womens bathroom and you are identifying as male then you are invading.

Rufus

Originally Posted by Jet

who says i would invade

Originally Posted by Billy

That's what I'm saying ....Why after everything we go through to be seen as MALE , want to go into the womans room .....You can't have it both ways ..

Originally Posted by Rufusboi

Beard or not you should respect women enough not to invade their private space.

Rufus

Hey I just want to set this straight for the record...
I would never invade women's space. I don't get where that comes off. Secondly, I won't wear a beard...it was just my comment on my preference regarding facial hair. I never said i would "invade" anyone's space let alone the women's rest room. My comments had nothing to restrooms. jus' sayin'

[atomiczombie]

Originally Posted by tuffboi29

When I was older and with my ex-wife I saw a news report back in '99 about a successfull operation to make a female into a male. My first thought was "OMG MY WHOLE LIFE COULD BE THE WAY IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!"
Stupid me tried to open up about it to my ex and once again the words that were lashed at me shut me up all over.(What if she told my parents?!They had me committed once for this.)

Yeah that is fubar. Luckily I didn't come out as trans until after my marriage ended. But my ex-wife calls me by my birth name (not my legal name) and uses female pronouns when talking about me just to be a fucking bitch. She knows I changed my name, that I go by male pronouns, that I am trans. She actually said to my face a few months ago, when I asked her to please use my legal name, that I don't have the right equipment to be Drew. *shakes head*

Anyhow, it's awesome that you have a girlfriend who understands and supports you! Hang in there buddy!

[CamBAMF]

Originally Posted by tuffboi29

First of all...Thanks guys...Seriously...Thank you.
So right now I'm quietly and discreetly packing...umm...My boxerbriefs.
Besides this and one other post I haven't spoken about this with anyone but my girlfriend.
I have to say it feels...idk...right?
I'm just learning what this in me is exactly...definitions and such...But more importantly how alot of this applies to me.How I relate to it.
I've just recently admitted for the first time my first fantisies.Which were of girls.And as myself in the male role.
What I thought of as a child. Could I maybe wake one morn and be a boy? Would I finally be "right" then?
When I first realized I was a girl I was made to use a public womens restroom for the first time by myself. I was horrified and thought there was a very serious mistake on the adult's part in making me go in there. I kept thinking just why the HELL they would force me go in THERE with the GIRLS?
Before I was old enough to understand the difference between the boys and girls, I ran with my bio male cousins on the farm...I ran about shirtless with them, hunted and went fishing with them, climbed trees and explored the woods and farmlands.I was one of them.
I remember trying to explain to my ma just why I shouldn't go to the girls bathroom or wear dresses and even the time I told her I was goin to marry a girl one day....the words she used to describe MY thoughts and MY f****** feelings (when I was once told my thoughts and feelings were just THAT...MINE!)...I was told I was unnatural...god would call me an abonmination...I better NEVER tell anyone else lest I embarressed the family at church...Guys, I was sent to a M*****F****** christian therapy camp to help "cure" me of these evil thoughts for surely the devil was tempting me to go against god's will.
When I was older and with my ex-wife I saw a news report back in '99 about a successfull operation to make a female into a male. My first thought was "OMG MY WHOLE LIFE COULD BE THE WAY IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!"
Stupid me tried to open up about it to my ex and once again the words that were lashed at me shut me up all over.(What if she told my parents?!They had me committed once for this.)
So untill these past 4 months my thoughts on this subject were as limited as my knowledge and understanding.
I feel like I'm rambling again so I'm goin to end this with a final thought and thanks.
My thanks is to my wonderful ya'fa girlfriend who brought me not only to this site but took the time and patience to help me understand what myself and others had sought to destroy and hide.(And of course she ever so discretely guided me to FTM threads and friends of hers...lol)
My final thought is for you guys.The bravery it must have took to forge this path!! I will never be able to express my gratitude too be able to finally speak freely and ask the questions I was never given the chance too.

I remember being three and telling my mom that god had made a mistake, that I was suppose to be a boy. I remember pray that god would fix it, that I would wake up as a boy. I think to this day it's really what held be back from believeing in "god" (my spirituality/ beliefs are always changing, but I just can't believe in one god kinda deal.) Luckily my family (particularly my mom's side) isn't really religious, so it went unnoticed and through my various coming out stories they never brought it up. (and on a side note: whole I'm sure my dad would have loved to say something along the line about me going to hell, my mom would have castrated him- so even he didn't say anything. He's only now kinda coming around. Its a slow process with him)

I remember starting to pack, like just trying it out. I was still kinda new to the whole thing. I tried socks and another time a strap on (which just turned out to be extremely funny walking around with a boner all day. lol) But besides uncomfortable (neither really felt correct in my pants. lol.) but I wore one or the other anyway till I could afford a packy. I felt like something belonged there, I just wasn't sure what or where to get it till a while later. lol. Just as previously mentioned in another post, it seemed to fill up some kind of missing piece within me at the time. Now I don't normally go out without my pack-n-pee on, but if I'm not wearing it its no big deal.

I didn't 'know' what I was. I knew I wasn't right though. I didn't have a word for how I felt till college when I met a MTF. At the time I was dating a girl who basically bluntly told me if that was the way I was I wasn't worth her time. The next two girlfriend's knew before hand and still tried to 'fix' me. It was only my most recent ex who really saw who I was. She walked me through each part (the doctors/therapist, the T, tellling friends and family, changing bathrooms, etc.) standing next to me the whole time. I gotta tell you, I was scared sh**less! She literally walked me by the hand through each of my steps so far. Hell, she even bragged about me (which I thought was amazing!) on a local radio station (w/o saying my name of course). It's pretty amazing when you meet someone who really loves you for you. While we are not together anymore for other reasons- I still thank her to this day for the support she gave me.

It can be a complicated path, but you know when it's the right one. Some ways it gets easier, other aspects can be... more difficult... but at the end of the day you have to be who you are, no matter who or what that is. Stay true to yourself bro. We're all here for you.

-Cameron