Open Letter: Dear Femme

[evolveme]

Originally Posted by Boots13

and the worst (from my perspective)
the sabotage of Femme Cannibalism. It's
that "friendly fire" , being shanked
by a stiletto, that has always perplexed me.
[/COLOR]

What a great post, Boots.

And yes, we do cannibalize each other, don't we? All of us (not just Femmes), but in our quarters and what with Relational Aggression it can be so...nasty.

As it is socially acceptable, and even encouraged as a rite of passage, for masculine creatures to rough-it-out as a means to work-it-out, out-right aggressions are hardly frowned upon in the school yard. But girls are supposed to "be nice and look sweet."

So what do we do with our naturally arising feelings of aggression? (We are animals after all.) We have devised elaborate inter-social methods of torturing and ostracizing one another.

The cruel word spoken in clever jest. (plausible deniablity)

Unkind Gossips.

Out-casting. (a very fickle art)

And, everyone's favorite: The Naming of The Slut.

There are more.

We've all shanked a lady with a fine stiletto, whether we wear them or not.

[Diva]

Originally Posted by evolveme

What a great post, Boots.

And yes, we do cannibalize each other, don't we? All of us (not just Femmes), but in our quarters and what with Relational Aggression it can be so...nasty.

As it is socially acceptable, and even encouraged as a rite of passage, for masculine creatures to rough-it-out as a means to work-it-out, out-right aggressions are hardly frowned upon in the school yard. But girls are supposed to "be nice and look sweet."

So what do we do with our naturally arising feelings of aggression? (We are animals after all.) We have devised elaborate inter-social methods of torturing and ostracizing one another.

The cruel word spoken in clever jest. (plausible deniablity)

Unkind Gossips.

Out-casting. (a very fickle art)

And, everyone's favorite: The Naming of The Slut.

There are more.

We've all shanked a lady with a fine stiletto, whether we wear them or not.

And this is the crux of the matter, n'est pas?

Let me ask You.....must we be friends with EVERYone? Just because there is this Femme Bond thing going on? Is it ever ok just to "divorce" yourself from a friendship because it's no longer satisfactory? I can be cordial to just about anyone....but I don't feel I need to be joined at the hip to a femme just because.....does that make me a femme betrayor....a community slayer?
I can love everyone....but I don't think that means I must LIKE everyone, does it?

[evolveme]

Originally Posted by Diva

And this is the crux of the matter, n'est pas?

Let me ask You.....must we be friends with EVERYone? Just because there is this Femme Bond thing going on? Is it ever ok just to "divorce" yourself from a friendship because it's no longer satisfactory? I can be cordial to just about anyone....but I don't feel I need to be joined at the hip to a femme just because.....does that make me a femme betrayor....a community slayer?
I can love everyone....but I don't think that means I must LIKE everyone, does it?

Well, dog no.

If you're an out and out dicknit, I'm not likely to give you the time of day.

Besides, I don't wear a watch,

e

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by evolveme

What a great post, Boots.

And yes, we do cannibalize each other, don't we? All of us (not just Femmes), but in our quarters and what with Relational Aggression it can be so...nasty.

As it is socially acceptable, and even encouraged as a rite of passage, for masculine creatures to rough-it-out as a means to work-it-out, out-right aggressions are hardly frowned upon in the school yard. But girls are supposed to "be nice and look sweet."

So what do we do with our naturally arising feelings of aggression? (We are animals after all.) We have devised elaborate inter-social methods of torturing and ostracizing one another.

The cruel word spoken in clever jest. (plausible deniablity)

Unkind Gossips.

Out-casting. (a very fickle art)

And, everyone's favorite: The Naming of The Slut.

There are more.

We've all shanked a lady with a fine stiletto, whether we wear them or not.

I have experienced everything on the list.

I'd never had a b/f community before and was SHOCKED to say the least.

In the end I chose to not shut down, not participate and not disallow myself from further potential Femme friendships.

I am so glad that five years later I have forged some solid Femme friendships.

I don't feel that the syndrome of gossip, shunning, or the naming of the slut is entirely based in misogyny. I think it is first and foremost Fear based. So many of us have found a place where we belong after a lifetime of NOT belonging.

Some believe they have to *fight* for that place. Climb up a rung of some imagined Hierarchy. If someone comes along that threatens that they are taken out. We should be offering a hand and pulling other Femme's in and up not out. There really IS room for all of us at the table.

[MizzSabra]

Originally Posted by evolveme

<snippity-snip>
And, everyone's favorite: The Naming of The Slut.

Someone call for me?

I don't even know where to start.....Great thread e, I'm still reading.

[evolveme]

Originally Posted by MizzSabra

Someone call for me?

I don't even know where to start.....Great thread e, I'm still reading.

Oh, Lady, I know how to get your gendertrashy ass right where I want it.

Don't you doubt me.

,

e

P.S. Apologies to The Arwen for any discomfort caused by overt girl-flirting. <wink>