Picking apart a femme

T D · 08-19-2010, 10:08 AM

Welllllll, if someone made a point of saying something (especially in front of others) about my physical appearance that they consider a weakness or flaw (or whatever), I'd kick their ass to the curb. At some point in life I made a conscious decision that I "don't need this shit", and I don't. No one does!

Soft*Silver · 08-19-2010, 10:14 AM

TD...sometimes people say things and dont realize they are being insensitive (OH LORD i just did it myself! So anyone can do this!) This thread isnt about beating up on anyone...or abusiveness. This thread is about the "innocent" remarks people say when they arent thinking clearly or have no frame of reference to know this might be a sensitive area.

I too would dismiss anyone who was intentionally cruel or plain old nasty. My BF wasnt. He just didnt realize how it could affect me when my thin upper lip was pointed out...and even when I said it made me uncomfortable, he still didnt get it. He kept telling me he meant no harm. And he didnt. He loved me. He wasnt being a heel. He was just being...uhmmm....dense?

Quote:

Originally Posted by T D

Welllllll, if someone made a point of saying something (especially in front of others) about my physical appearance that they consider a weakness or flaw (or whatever), I'd kick their ass to the curb. At some point in life I made a conscious decision that I "don't need this shit", and I don't. No one does!

Liam · 08-19-2010, 10:23 AM

I believe this example can apply to anyone, regardless of how they identify; I have encountered people who ask the same question, almost each time they speak to me—"are you really _______?" If they were over 70 or had dementia, I would not pay much attention to the repeated question, but when that isn't the case, and I have answered the question over and over faithfully, I feel like they are not interested in knowing the truth, and are invested somehow, in a different answer. It is most interesting that when I lie, and reply, "no," their questions regarding that particular subject end. Quite often, I never hear from them again. Good riddance, I say.

SuperFemme · 08-19-2010, 11:27 AM

Usually the picking apart for *me* happens by other Femmes. I have been mostly adored, respected, loved, and enjoyed friendships with other Femmes, Butches (of all ID's, Transmen, Transwomen, Human Beings and Nuns.

My insecurities do not equal a lack of sensitivity on the part of others.

Soft*Silver · 08-19-2010, 11:33 AM

I love this statement.

But in reality, I do have some insecurities and it is with my loved one that I need to feel the most secure with about them. I dont have huge insecurities. Not like I am a landmine course and any step can set off a (minor) ouchie, but sometimes, it does happen.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

Usually the picking apart for *me* happens by other Femmes. I have been mostly adored, respected, loved, and enjoyed friendships with other Femmes, Butches (of all ID's, Transmen, Transwomen, Human Beings and Nuns.

My insecurities do not equal a lack of sensitivity on the part of others.

SuperFemme · 08-19-2010, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by softness

I love this statement.

But in reality, I do have some insecurities and it is with my loved one that I need to feel the most secure with about them. I dont have huge insecurities. Not like I am a landmine course and any step can set off a (minor) ouchie, but sometimes, it does happen.

That is the thing Softness. I find for *me* that if I am with those who love me the most and my insecurities are going to be magnified by that love? I do well with bringing it up BEFORE it happens.

"I want you to know that if you make fun of my pot belly I'll stab your eyes out"

"If you ever call me four eyes, I'll give you two black eyes"

TeeHee.

08-19-2010, 10:08 AM	#1
T D Member How Do You Identify?: Person of the trans variety Preferred Pronoun?: He, Sir, Bro, TD, Stevin Relationship Status: On occasion Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: SF Bay Area Posts: 1,165 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,428 Thanked 1,125 Times in 311 Posts Rep Power: 3570340	Welllllll, if someone made a point of saying something (especially in front of others) about my physical appearance that they consider a weakness or flaw (or whatever), I'd kick their ass to the curb. At some point in life I made a conscious decision that I "don't need this shit", and I don't. No one does! __________________ “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

08-19-2010, 10:23 AM	#3
Liam Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Guy Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him, His Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The Evergreen State Posts: 2,269 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 14,865 Thanked 6,874 Times in 1,859 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	I believe this example can apply to anyone, regardless of how they identify; I have encountered people who ask the same question, almost each time they speak to me—"are you really _______?" If they were over 70 or had dementia, I would not pay much attention to the repeated question, but when that isn't the case, and I have answered the question over and over faithfully, I feel like they are not interested in knowing the truth, and are invested somehow, in a different answer. It is most interesting that when I lie, and reply, "no," their questions regarding that particular subject end. Quite often, I never hear from them again. Good riddance, I say. __________________ <3 Love is weird.

08-19-2010, 11:27 AM	#4
SuperFemme Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Permanently Banned 10/24/2010 Preferred Pronoun?: She. Relationship Status: Married (one of 18,000) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Atascadero, CA Posts: 4,933 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,309 Thanked 7,108 Times in 2,327 Posts Rep Power: 0	Usually the picking apart for me happens by other Femmes. I have been mostly adored, respected, loved, and enjoyed friendships with other Femmes, Butches (of all ID's, Transmen, Transwomen, Human Beings and Nuns. My insecurities do not equal a lack of sensitivity on the part of others.