Big Butch Love

femmebotdyke · 08-26-2010, 06:44 PM

Interesting thread. I tend not to use the terms "obese" or "overweight" because I think that they are negative, pathologizing and unhelpfully position some bodies as normative and others as "deviant". I prefer "fat".

With regards to health, I prefer the HAES (Health at Every Size) approach as an alternative to weight-loss dieting, which I believe is unhealthy. I know a psychologist who specializes in eating disorders and she made the point in a recent interview that the very behaviours prescribed as solutions to those labelled ''overweight'' or ''obese'' are often the same practices she as a practitioner diagnoses in those with clinical eating disorders like bulimia and anorexia. I think part of the reason conversations like these are often very highly-charged is that it's difficult to separate out fat stigma from questions around body size and health. Anyway, there are growing number of resources available to fat people- many of them targeted to queer, lesbian, butch/femme and transgender audiences. If anyone's interested in fat-positive materials for butches of size, just message me.

As far as sexual attraction is concerned, I'm not attracted to fat or bigger butches in spite of their size but because of it. A big butch really turns my head and gets the juices flowing! Of course I'm not only attracted to fat butches and instant physical attraction isn't the only or even the primary characteristic I look for in a prospective partner but in a room of otherwise equally attractive butches, it's ze fat butch who attracts and holds my attention first.

nycfem · 08-26-2010, 07:18 PM

I love your post and so agree with you! I wish more people had this level of awareness.

Is the interview you mentioned online by chance? I am psyched to hear a psychologist make that point. Very cool

Quote:

Originally Posted by femmebotdyke

Interesting thread. I tend not to use the terms "obese" or "overweight" because I think that they are negative, pathologizing and unhelpfully position some bodies as normative and others as "deviant". I prefer "fat".

With regards to health, I prefer the HAES (Health at Every Size) approach as an alternative to weight-loss dieting, which I believe is unhealthy. I know a psychologist who specializes in eating disorders and she made the point in a recent interview that the very behaviours prescribed as solutions to those labelled ''overweight'' or ''obese'' are often the same practices she as a practitioner diagnoses in those with clinical eating disorders like bulimia and anorexia. I think part of the reason conversations like these are often very highly-charged is that it's difficult to separate out fat stigma from questions around body size and health. Anyway, there are growing number of resources available to fat people- many of them targeted to queer, lesbian, butch/femme and transgender audiences. If anyone's interested in fat-positive materials for butches of size, just message me.

As far as sexual attraction is concerned, I'm not attracted to fat or bigger butches in spite of their size but because of it. A big butch really turns my head and gets the juices flowing! Of course I'm not only attracted to fat butches and instant physical attraction isn't the only or even the primary characteristic I look for in a prospective partner but in a room of otherwise equally attractive butches, it's ze fat butch who attracts and holds my attention first.

Leigh · 08-26-2010, 07:31 PM

I love this thread

nycfem · 08-26-2010, 08:00 PM

And don't y'all forget to give some big love to the companion thread:

http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/foru...ead.php?t=1118

Quote:

Originally Posted by Braedon

I love this thread

Leigh · 08-27-2010, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nycfembbw

And don't y'all forget to give some big love to the companion thread:

http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/foru...ead.php?t=1118

Of course not, can't forget our companion thread

naturlover_52 · 09-06-2010, 12:29 PM

why is it that straight people especially women....therapists especially try to hmmmm get us to dress differently.

I am soft butch and I am MOST comphy in Tshirts w/ Sayings/characters and jeans and or shorts...and I don't always LOOK Shnazzy...GREAT.... and get looked at as IF I don't WANT to take care of myself. BUT I just don't know how to change...LOOK different AND I sure AS hell DON"T do make up.....

JUST asking and needing a lil advice....

Thanks....

naturlover_52 · 09-06-2010, 03:46 PM

I also wear solid colored shirts...and the winter hoodies....I am a soft BUTCH and this is how I am most comphy....JUST don;t know how to dress....the only word coming to mind is glamorous, BUT I am thinking,,,,Proper is the better term

thanks

Nightshade · 01-10-2011, 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nycfembbw

And don't y'all forget to give some big love to the companion thread:

http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/foru...ead.php?t=1118

Just subscribed to both threads! Give me a butch or TG with presence who knows and appreciates a curvy woman any day!

bigbutchmistie · 01-10-2011, 10:31 PM

Im glad to see this thread again

I had missed it... I love seeing all the femmes out there who love us big guys

asphaltcowboi · 01-10-2011, 11:07 PM

this is the first time ive seen this thread.. its good to see it.. tho i recently went from 280lbs to 210 at 5'10 im still built like a line backer.. ive always worried esp when i was at 280 that i was to big. that my size scared people away. i know there are some femmes that love the big butches. growing up i was fairly on the too skinny side lol and worried that some big butch would kick my ass if i didnt behave right. as an adult and a older butch im proud to join the ranks!

bigbutchmistie · 11-11-2010, 05:46 AM

Im just the "boi next door" I wear cargo shorts alot with t shirts and a cap, or polo shirt and jeans. To work its cargo pants/ polo shirt. Im a big boi but I feel sexy as hell...

I just love it when a femme thinks big butches are sexy....

kookybroad · 11-11-2010, 01:10 PM

I must say there is nothing more exciting then being with a butch that is confident and comfortable with the person they are. I do love the bigger, confident butch, and I love falling asleep and waking up in those strong arms.

Sending out a big HELLO to all those that make my heart flutter!

naturlover_52 · 11-11-2010, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kookybroad

I must say there is nothing more exciting then being with a butch that is confident and comfortable with the person they are. I do love the bigger, confident butch, and I love falling asleep and waking up in those strong arms.

Sending out a big HELLO to all those that make my heart flutter!

This is all new to me....soooo working on the confidence. I am a big teddy bear that has met her fellow butch to go through life w/ and has the attitude of if u don't like it than Fuck it.....I think that is a lil harsh but she is more my protector.

and yes...I understood what u meant.

AnaLee · 01-09-2011, 01:18 AM

I just wanted to pop in and give love and support to the big butches here and elsewhere in our universe. You are sooo attractive and sexy. Big shoulders, strong arms, tight jeans ... omg, now where IS my fan!

Sweet thoughts,
Ana

09-06-2010, 12:29 PM	#6
naturlover_52 Member How Do You Identify?: soft butch/bi Preferred Pronoun?: she and her are just fine....Sweetcheeks hey you Relationship Status: seeing someone long distance but soon will be both in Ca love her very much Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: So Calif East San Gabrielle Valley aka the land of shake and bake Posts: 108 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 85 Thanked 89 Times in 44 Posts Rep Power: 3426	this goes into clothing and caring about OURSELVES why is it that straight people especially women....therapists especially try to hmmmm get us to dress differently. I am soft butch and I am MOST comphy in Tshirts w/ Sayings/characters and jeans and or shorts...and I don't always LOOK Shnazzy...GREAT.... and get looked at as IF I don't WANT to take care of myself. BUT I just don't know how to change...LOOK different AND I sure AS hell DON"T do make up..... JUST asking and needing a lil advice.... Thanks....

09-06-2010, 03:46 PM	#7
naturlover_52 Member How Do You Identify?: soft butch/bi Preferred Pronoun?: she and her are just fine....Sweetcheeks hey you Relationship Status: seeing someone long distance but soon will be both in Ca love her very much Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: So Calif East San Gabrielle Valley aka the land of shake and bake Posts: 108 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 85 Thanked 89 Times in 44 Posts Rep Power: 3426	addition to my post I also wear solid colored shirts...and the winter hoodies....I am a soft BUTCH and this is how I am most comphy....JUST don;t know how to dress....the only word coming to mind is glamorous, BUT I am thinking,,,,Proper is the better term thanks

01-10-2011, 11:07 PM	#10
asphaltcowboi Senior Member How Do You Identify?: butch Relationship Status: HAPPY Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: ..... Posts: 1,509 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,367 Thanked 3,297 Times in 1,042 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	this is the first time ive seen this thread.. its good to see it.. tho i recently went from 280lbs to 210 at 5'10 im still built like a line backer.. ive always worried esp when i was at 280 that i was to big. that my size scared people away. i know there are some femmes that love the big butches. growing up i was fairly on the too skinny side lol and worried that some big butch would kick my ass if i didnt behave right. as an adult and a older butch im proud to join the ranks! __________________

08-26-2010, 06:44 PM	#1
femmebotdyke Junior Member How Do You Identify?: femme dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Usually she/her but ze/hir or other gender neutral pronouns are also perfectly acceptable Relationship Status: Single (and trying to look nonchalant about it) Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 17 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 47 Thanked 45 Times in 9 Posts Rep Power: 282	Interesting thread. I tend not to use the terms "obese" or "overweight" because I think that they are negative, pathologizing and unhelpfully position some bodies as normative and others as "deviant". I prefer "fat". With regards to health, I prefer the HAES (Health at Every Size) approach as an alternative to weight-loss dieting, which I believe is unhealthy. I know a psychologist who specializes in eating disorders and she made the point in a recent interview that the very behaviours prescribed as solutions to those labelled ''overweight'' or ''obese'' are often the same practices she as a practitioner diagnoses in those with clinical eating disorders like bulimia and anorexia. I think part of the reason conversations like these are often very highly-charged is that it's difficult to separate out fat stigma from questions around body size and health. Anyway, there are growing number of resources available to fat people- many of them targeted to queer, lesbian, butch/femme and transgender audiences. If anyone's interested in fat-positive materials for butches of size, just message me. As far as sexual attraction is concerned, I'm not attracted to fat or bigger butches in spite of their size but because of it. A big butch really turns my head and gets the juices flowing! Of course I'm not *only* attracted to fat butches and instant physical attraction isn't the only or even the primary characteristic I look for in a prospective partner but in a room of otherwise equally attractive butches, it's ze fat butch who attracts and holds my attention first.

08-26-2010, 07:31 PM	#3
Leigh Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, etc Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 7,767 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,029 Thanked 13,024 Times in 4,784 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	I love this thread

01-10-2011, 10:31 PM	#9
bigbutchmistie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Since You Need A Label. Butch Relationship Status: Still Dreaming Of My Happily Ever After Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Arlington Texas Posts: 4,009 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,950 Thanked 5,364 Times in 1,941 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Im glad to see this thread again I had missed it... I love seeing all the femmes out there who love us big guys

11-11-2010, 05:46 AM	#11
bigbutchmistie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Since You Need A Label. Butch Relationship Status: Still Dreaming Of My Happily Ever After Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Arlington Texas Posts: 4,009 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,950 Thanked 5,364 Times in 1,941 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Im just the "boi next door" I wear cargo shorts alot with t shirts and a cap, or polo shirt and jeans. To work its cargo pants/ polo shirt. Im a big boi but I feel sexy as hell... I just love it when a femme thinks big butches are sexy....

11-11-2010, 01:10 PM	#12
kookybroad Junior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: She/her/sub/ beautiful blonde goddess, lol Relationship Status: Single, and actively looking! Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: winnipeg, manitoba Posts: 14 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 19 Thanked 59 Times in 14 Posts Rep Power: 327	I must say there is nothing more exciting then being with a butch that is confident and comfortable with the person they are. I do love the bigger, confident butch, and I love falling asleep and waking up in those strong arms. Sending out a big HELLO to all those that make my heart flutter!

01-09-2011, 01:18 AM	#14
AnaLee Junior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she's a femme, dawg! Relationship Status: one toe in Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: downriver Posts: 23 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3 Thanked 33 Times in 12 Posts Rep Power: 985	I just wanted to pop in and give love and support to the big butches here and elsewhere in our universe. You are sooo attractive and sexy. Big shoulders, strong arms, tight jeans ... omg, now where IS my fan! Sweet thoughts, Ana