masculine maturity?

[WingsOnFire]

Great post Gemme... I love it!

I personally believe that life experiences can greatly hinder or benefit someone in their maturity growth. I grew up in a very dysfunctional home. I left at the age of 17 to learn what it was like to be "normal" for me. To this day I visit sparsely and know that I have worked hard to become the mature and self-functioning independent woman I am today. I persevered and by surrounding myself with people I could look up to I have matured in to the woman I am today. Possibly someone who grew up in a more loving, nurturing family would have matured faster than I did because they would have the right role models to assist in that? I dont know... That is another thought to ponder. I missed out on a lot because of that. To this day I dont have a mother (she passed away when I was 19), a father (he also passed away when I was 19) or sisters or brothers that I would feel comfortable calling for advice. Does that hinder me? Yes. But it is what I "DO" with my life to persevere beyond those limitations that matters to me.

I know both femmes of my age and much younger than I that are as mature, more mature and less mature than I am. Same with butches. My Sir is younger than I am yet in many ways he is much older and wiser than I am. Maybe that is because I believe he has an old soul. Whatever the reason is, I could not and would not compare femmes to butches in maturity growth. In my humble opinion they, femmes and butches, can not be put into one category of more mature or less mature than the other. It is really a personal journey.

I also dont agree that butches equate to male. So I dont think you can use the same analogy of girls mature faster than boys. It just doesn't fit in the same category as femme and butch. Again, I feel it is ones own internal self awareness that reflects their maturity level.

Sorry if this rambles... I am trying to compile my thoughts in a room full of 50 women scrapbooking

[AtLast]

Wondering if other people believe their maturation was influenced by birth order?

Also, as a FIB, I just can't relate to masculine maturity in any shape or form. No, I don't mean this as anything snide. Yes, I was not what most girls should be, but, I just viewed myself as a different kind of girl (still do). I can relate to some ethnic distinctions between how female and female children can be raised and their maturity measured by their parents/care-takers. But, this would also have been tainted in my life just because of being raised in the accepted "mans world" paradigm of my age group. I don't know how relevant this would be to younger members. I can relate to masculine maturation and development as a parent of a male child, however.

[Corkey]

Originally Posted by AtLastHome

Wondering if other people believe their maturation was influenced by birth order?

Also, as a FIB, I just can't relate to masculine maturity in any shape or form. No, I don't mean this as anything snide. Yes, I was not what most girls should be, but, I just viewed myself as a different kind of girl (still do). I can relate to some ethnic distinctions between how female and female children can be raised and their maturity measured by their parents/care-takers. But, this would also have been tainted in my life just because of being raised in the accepted "mans world" paradigm of my age group. I don't know how relevant this would be to younger members.

Birth order, nah, it doesn't explain it in terms of adoption. If that were true my brother should have matured faster than me, he didn't.

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by Corkey

Birth order, nah, it doesn't explain it in terms of adoption. If that were true my brother should have matured faster than me, he didn't.

I agree, partly. As the youngest and born nearly ten years after my older siblings, I can see differences in expectations of maturity. Also, things like not being taken seriously as the "baby of the family." But, on thye hand, having a serious ethnic expectation of being the child responsible for my parents as they aged as the youngest female (especially as an "unmarried" female). My older siblings each had particular role expectations based upon our ethnicity as well. But, there could be similiar things like this for others, I think, based on birth order.

Thinking about how very different my parents were when they had the first child- their maturity levels- fromtwhen I came along. So many things had changed outside of their own ages. For one thing, they did not have the same economic worries and I do think that I did not have some of the same expectations of responsibility expected of me as early as my sisters and brother. For example, we all had paying part-time jobs by the age of 12. However, my older siblings contributed their earning to the family as a whole. I got to keep the money I earned. Well, I had to put most of it in a bank account (for college), but could spend some weekly on things like going to the movies.

I do think I got away with some things as a teenager that my siblings didn't and that this did cause them to become more responsible at younger ages than myself. How it feels, anyway. LOL... perhaps they brain washed me into believing this!

[rlin]

i read all these thoughts when i asked this question... and i learned from them...

while bopping around the site today i ran into this thread and re read the responses...

i just want to say that there are some damned smart folks up in this site...
i really appreciate the fact that i have a place where i can ask a question and get so many varied and intelligent forms of input... these answers covered just about every thought process i could imagine possible... i am damned impressed...

you folks rock!