Sexual Orientation......Who does or does not have one?

kix4funchick · 12-09-2010, 06:57 PM

I was just curious about the whole sexual orientation thing. I have been going back and forth between pansexual and polysexual. Then I found out about Pomosexual. I like Pomosexual a whole lot better because it basically means that I do not have a sexual orientation at all. I don't feel like I should have to label myself as anything because I know what I like and that's that. I mean I'm like 10000000% attracted to female bodied people and like 0.000001/4% attracted to male bodied people. So therefore I do not feel comfortable with any of the sexual orientation labels that are out there.

What about you? Do you have a sexual orientation? If so, what is it?

Kobi · 12-09-2010, 08:38 PM

Just when I catch up with the vernacular, I find there is even more!

I like this concept and it seems fitting for a new generation that has far more options, opportunities, and freedoms.
With fluid sexuality, fluid gender etc. becoming so popular, it makes sense for there to be a
new label for something continuing to develop and expand.

And it makes sense to be able to explore sexuality without having to label oneself as this or that.

I'm not too thrilled with the name tho. Postmodern sounds too clinical.
And Pomosexual makes me think of someone who like sex with pomeranians.

There must be a better thing to call it.

Soft*Silver · 12-09-2010, 10:42 PM

I am a heterosexual. I happen to have sex with male ID'd people, whether they are male or female. I do not date femmes. I do not like to date femininzed people. Male or female. When I am in a relationship I am definitely heterosexual. The genitals have nothing to do with it. The lifestyle does.

phooey. I am just so sick of labels and what I am. You wanna know what I am? All I can definitely say is I am a femme. Everything else is subject to contemporary cultural clash. Frankly, I fuck everyone. I fall in love with special ones. I relate heterosexually from the 1950s.

Pomeranian sex made me snort my coca cola out my nose...lol...

swagger · 12-10-2010, 08:58 AM

I made some tshirts saying "pomosexual - because labels suck and not in a good way"

Mostly I'm something of a pomophobe though. To me, labels are language and language is labels..

I define my sexual orientation as any and all of the following: gay, queer, lesbian, dyke

kix4funchick · 12-10-2010, 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kobi

Just when I catch up with the vernacular, I find there is even more!

I like this concept and it seems fitting for a new generation that has far more options, opportunities, and freedoms.
With fluid sexuality, fluid gender etc. becoming so popular, it makes sense for there to be a
new label for something continuing to develop and expand.

And it makes sense to be able to explore sexuality without having to label oneself as this or that.

I'm not too thrilled with the name tho. Postmodern sounds too clinical.
And Pomosexual makes me think of someone who like sex with pomeranians.

There must be a better thing to call it.

Yeah, that's true. Haha, sex with pomeranians. I said the word out loud to myself and I too hate the way it sounds. We should make up a different word for it. I just like what it means. I don't like labels, but I'm mostly a lesbian although there is a very slight chance that I would even consider being with a guy again (like under 1/4 chance of it happening). But yeah, there has to be a better word for somebody who doesn't feel like they should have to label themselves.

LipstickLola · 12-10-2010, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by June

How about "Human". Radical, I know.

Thank you

atomiczombie · 12-10-2010, 02:57 PM

I have an orientation. It's femmesensual and queer. Femmesensual means my primary attraction is to femmes. Not straight women. I claim queer because I have little in common with straight people. I just can't relate to them, and I can relate very much to queer-idenitfied folks.

Soft*Silver · 12-10-2010, 03:45 PM

I am glad you explained femmesensual because I thought you had been femme and were transitioning to masculine. No, I am not kidding. And I am not being derogatory. I kept silent because I didnt want to offend and I have this disdain about labels so I didnt want to ask because I was not going to ever use it in my every day life even if I knew what it was. I thought it had to do with your transitioning FtM ...that you also had to transition from femme to masculine. One of the FtMs I dated had presented as a femme lesbian for years before transitioning. I thought thats what this meant...am I explaining myself?

PumaJ · 02-28-2011, 04:04 AM

I've always been sexually oriented toward Butches. Just as I have always been Femme.

There is just something about the way a Butch runs such strong male energy in a female form that rocks my world. I've pondered about the ID of Lesbian. I mean, technically I'm attracted to other women. But in reality, Butch as a gender is not really a woman, nor a man. Adding Femme to Lesbian is sort of helpful, but Queer is just making more and more sense.

I feel zero sexual attraction to women who are not Butch. That doesn't mean I couldn't be sexual with them, because I have been in friends with benefits types of situations, on a couple of occasions. But I am not sexually attracted by such women, so I would not seek out sexual interactions with them.

AtLast · 02-28-2011, 04:37 AM

Simply put, lesbian.

Nat · 02-28-2011, 07:18 AM

I tend to veer away from labels with the word "sexual" in them. Sexuality is obviously a big part of orientation, but I've just gotten too tired of people who deny our rights reducing us to sex. Those who would deny our rights tend to be pretty obsessed with what happens between our sheets. My orientation involves what happens between the sheets, but it also involves what happens in my heart. Also, in my own process of figuring out my orientation, I kept trying to figure it out through sex. If I'd let my heart lead and trusted the sex would be awesome, it would have taken me down a much shorter road to the "aha".

Quintease · 04-11-2011, 09:59 AM

I would have said 100% lesbian, only then I met my bf.

Now I'd say 75% lesbian and 25% transsensual.

LediskoLove99 · 04-26-2011, 10:08 PM

Lesbian. Although I do find myself attracted to guys, just not in the same way I am with women. I'm mean I'm gay not blind haha.

Lynn · 04-26-2011, 11:07 PM

I don't mind labels, as long as I get to pick my own, based on what they mean to me.

I'm perfectly comfortable with lesbian. I'd say that lesbian really fits me. Dyke is OK, too. I'm attracted to women, especially women who are more masculine and who are comfortable with that in themselves. I love butches, but I wouldn't say that I have embraced the identity of "femme."

Venus007 · 04-26-2011, 11:16 PM

I like queer, it has a nice ring to it and it is only just a little bit of a letter away from queen.

I am attracted to all sorts of genders and sexualities, mostly female bodied but not necessarily so. I tend to be attracted to people's energies and carriage and that je ne sais qua, most of the time they are female bodied but there is an occasional male tossed in about every 20 years.

Lynn · 04-27-2011, 05:09 AM

Just want to add that it concerns me not at all that I have been attracted to men and was married to a man for 20 years. Having the occasional attraction to someone, regardless of gender, does not confuse me or make me any less confident in my identity as a lesbian.

Chazz · 04-27-2011, 09:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

I have an orientation. It's femmesensual and queer. Femmesensual means my primary attraction is to femmes. Not straight women. I claim queer because I have little in common with straight people. I just can't relate to them, and I can relate very much to queer-idenitfied folks.

Love the term "femme-sensual". Guess that makes me a "femme-sensual", butch.

I don't date straight women, either; I have little in common with them, too. It's been interesting trying to convey that to straight women (at dating sites) who contact me for a walk on the down-low.

Being a lesbian is NOT just about who I desire sexually, it's also a world view born of a lived experience as not straight, bi, trans~, etc.. A shared world view/commonality of experience is what adds to the intimacy for me.

Chazz · 04-27-2011, 12:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lynn

I don't mind labels, as long as I get to pick my own, based on what they mean to me.

I'm perfectly comfortable with lesbian. I'd say that lesbian really fits me. Dyke is OK, too. I'm attracted to women, especially women who are more masculine and who are comfortable with that in themselves. I love butches, but I wouldn't say that I have embraced the identity of "femme."

I tend to label as butch identified, and sexual. Although I am pegged as "masculine" by everyone, I prefer to identify as "butch" when the situation allows because I am not male identified.

Saying I'm butch-identified provides an opportunity to dispel, the still pervasive myth, that all butches are "male-wannabes". That exact term has been repeated to me so often (most recently at dating sites) by straight and bi women, AND LESBIANS, I clarify at first contact. It's surprising how many people see still confuse gender-presentation with gender identification

Elijah · 04-27-2011, 01:51 PM

Queer...allows room for growth and change.

Martina · 04-27-2011, 02:32 PM

Even though my first sexual dream was about a woman, i started out straight, which was not satisfactory. Like many dykes, i couldn't see what all the fuss was about. i mean men were fine. The sex was good, but i'd rather be with my friends. Finally figured that one out.

For a few years i was a happy dyke. Then my libido went sorta flat. Meeting a hot butch who knew the dance changed all that. From there, i ID'd as femme as well as lesbian.

My mid-life crisis changed a lot about my life. i moved, changed careers, etc. i also dated a couple transmen in a row and rediscovered femmes. i am a dyke and a femme. But my sexual orientation isn't all about butches anymore. Currently, i am in service to a butch-femme couple.

Rediscovering femmes has been a joy. i dated one maybe five years ago who made me feel butch. That didn't last. But the two i have been in service to made me feel more feminine and more like a girl, not less. i can't do without that. i have the privilege of serving the feminine body and spirit. It's hot. Damned hot. i still like butches too. Life is good.

12-09-2010, 06:57 PM	#1
kix4funchick Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Female Pronouns Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: California Posts: 36 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3 Thanked 43 Times in 16 Posts Rep Power: 8699	Sexual Orientation......Who does or does not have one? I was just curious about the whole sexual orientation thing. I have been going back and forth between pansexual and polysexual. Then I found out about Pomosexual. I like Pomosexual a whole lot better because it basically means that I do not have a sexual orientation at all. I don't feel like I should have to label myself as anything because I know what I like and that's that. I mean I'm like 10000000% attracted to female bodied people and like 0.000001/4% attracted to male bodied people. So therefore I do not feel comfortable with any of the sexual orientation labels that are out there. What about you? Do you have a sexual orientation? If so, what is it? __________________ http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b8...ners/mnfbb.jpg

12-09-2010, 08:38 PM	#2
Kobi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status: Happy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic. Posts: 9,234 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,840 Thanked 34,635 Times in 7,642 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	Just when I catch up with the vernacular, I find there is even more! I like this concept and it seems fitting for a new generation that has far more options, opportunities, and freedoms. With fluid sexuality, fluid gender etc. becoming so popular, it makes sense for there to be a new label for something continuing to develop and expand. And it makes sense to be able to explore sexuality without having to label oneself as this or that. I'm not too thrilled with the name tho. Postmodern sounds too clinical. And Pomosexual makes me think of someone who like sex with pomeranians. There must be a better thing to call it. __________________

12-09-2010, 10:42 PM	#3
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,592 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,909 Times in 4,062 Posts Rep Power*: 21474857	I am a heterosexual. I happen to have sex with male ID'd people, whether they are male or female. I do not date femmes. I do not like to date femininzed people. Male or female. When I am in a relationship I am definitely heterosexual. The genitals have nothing to do with it. The lifestyle does. phooey. I am just so sick of labels and what I am. You wanna know what I am? All I can definitely say is I am a femme. Everything else is subject to contemporary cultural clash. Frankly, I fuck everyone. I fall in love with special ones. I relate heterosexually from the 1950s. Pomeranian sex made me snort my coca cola out my nose...lol... __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

12-10-2010, 08:58 AM	#4
swagger Junior Member How Do You Identify?: butch daddy Preferred Pronoun?: i dont care. Relationship Status: happy Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: crush zone Posts: 57 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 43 Thanked 126 Times in 42 Posts Rep Power: 210973	I made some tshirts saying "pomosexual - because labels suck and not in a good way" Mostly I'm something of a pomophobe though. To me, labels are language and language is labels.. I define my sexual orientation as any and all of the following: gay, queer, lesbian, dyke __________________ unapologetically butch

12-10-2010, 02:57 PM	#7
atomiczombie Member How Do You Identify?: Femmesensual Transguy Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him, His Relationship Status: Dating Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Rio Vista, CA Posts: 1,225 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,949 Thanked 3,221 Times in 759 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I have an orientation. It's femmesensual and queer. Femmesensual means my primary attraction is to femmes. Not straight women. I claim queer because I have little in common with straight people. I just can't relate to them, and I can relate very much to queer-idenitfied folks. __________________ http://i277.photobucket.com/albums/k...orums_2000.gif Russian Unicorn http://occupiedmedia.us/

12-10-2010, 03:45 PM	#8
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,592 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,909 Times in 4,062 Posts Rep Power*: 21474857	I am glad you explained femmesensual because I thought you had been femme and were transitioning to masculine. No, I am not kidding. And I am not being derogatory. I kept silent because I didnt want to offend and I have this disdain about labels so I didnt want to ask because I was not going to ever use it in my every day life even if I knew what it was. I thought it had to do with your transitioning FtM ...that you also had to transition from femme to masculine. One of the FtMs I dated had presented as a femme lesbian for years before transitioning. I thought thats what this meant...am I explaining myself? __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

02-28-2011, 04:04 AM	#9
PumaJ Member How Do You Identify?: High Femme Queer Feminist Preferred Pronoun?: she, her Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Portland Metro, Oregon Posts: 200 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,419 Thanked 500 Times in 147 Posts Rep Power: 1652642	I've always been sexually oriented toward Butches. Just as I have always been Femme. There is just something about the way a Butch runs such strong male energy in a female form that rocks my world. I've pondered about the ID of Lesbian. I mean, technically I'm attracted to other women. But in reality, Butch as a gender is not really a woman, nor a man. Adding Femme to Lesbian is sort of helpful, but Queer is just making more and more sense. I feel zero sexual attraction to women who are not Butch. That doesn't mean I couldn't be sexual with them, because I have been in friends with benefits types of situations, on a couple of occasions. But I am not sexually attracted by such women, so I would not seek out sexual interactions with them. __________________ PumaJ

02-28-2011, 04:37 AM	#10
AtLast Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Woman Preferred Pronoun?: HER - SHE Relationship Status: Relating Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: CA & AZ I'm a Snowbird Posts: 5,408 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,826 Thanked 10,826 Times in 3,199 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Simply put, lesbian.

02-28-2011, 07:18 AM	#11
Nat Senior Member How Do You Identify?: bigender Preferred Pronoun?: whatevs Relationship Status: in a relationship Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Tx Posts: 3,535 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,042 Thanked 13,964 Times in 2,589 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	I tend to veer away from labels with the word "sexual" in them. Sexuality is obviously a big part of orientation, but I've just gotten too tired of people who deny our rights reducing us to sex. Those who would deny our rights tend to be pretty obsessed with what happens between our sheets. My orientation involves what happens between the sheets, but it also involves what happens in my heart. Also, in my own process of figuring out my orientation, I kept trying to figure it out through sex. If I'd let my heart lead and trusted the sex would be awesome, it would have taken me down a much shorter road to the "aha". __________________ I'm a fountain of blood. In the shape of a girl. - Bjork What is to give light must endure burning. -Viktor Frankl

04-11-2011, 09:59 AM	#12
Quintease Member How Do You Identify?: Rainbow femme Preferred Pronoun?: princess Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 508 Thanked 1,817 Times in 417 Posts Rep Power: 10560327	I would have said 100% lesbian, only then I met my bf. Now I'd say 75% lesbian and 25% transsensual. __________________ It is not worth an intelligent person's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that.

04-26-2011, 10:08 PM	#13
LediskoLove99 Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Permanently neurotic. Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Michigan Posts: 25 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 26 Thanked 100 Times in 19 Posts Rep Power: 380892	Lesbian. Although I do find myself attracted to guys, just not in the same way I am with women. I'm mean I'm gay not blind haha. __________________ Me: Fuck spellcheck! Sarah: Should I take it out to dinner first? Me: That would only be proper.

04-26-2011, 11:07 PM	#14
Lynn Member How Do You Identify?: Unabashed Feminine Lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: Her, She Relationship Status: Married! Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 689 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,499 Thanked 2,413 Times in 504 Posts Rep Power: 9668975	I don't mind labels, as long as I get to pick my own, based on what they mean to me. I'm perfectly comfortable with lesbian. I'd say that lesbian really fits me. Dyke is OK, too. I'm attracted to women, especially women who are more masculine and who are comfortable with that in themselves. I love butches, but I wouldn't say that I have embraced the identity of "femme." __________________ In the flush of love's light we dare be brave And suddenly we see that love costs all we are and will ever be. Yet it is only love which sets us free. Maya Angelou Wedding Photos: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?...1&l=22b092b98c

04-26-2011, 11:16 PM	#15
Venus007 Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Serene Highness ;} Relationship Status: Dreamily contemplating some outrage against conventional morality Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Houston area Posts: 1,362 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,417 Thanked 4,750 Times in 1,139 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I like queer, it has a nice ring to it and it is only just a little bit of a letter away from queen. I am attracted to all sorts of genders and sexualities, mostly female bodied but not necessarily so. I tend to be attracted to people's energies and carriage and that je ne sais qua, most of the time they are female bodied but there is an occasional male tossed in about every 20 years. __________________ . "I need no warrant for being, and no word of sanction upon my being. I am the warrant and the sanction. " Ayn Rand, Anthem "So you'll die happily for your sins. You'd rather die in guilt then live in love?" Timothy Leary

04-27-2011, 05:09 AM	#16
Lynn Member How Do You Identify?: Unabashed Feminine Lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: Her, She Relationship Status: Married! Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 689 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,499 Thanked 2,413 Times in 504 Posts Rep Power: 9668975	Just want to add that it concerns me not at all that I have been attracted to men and was married to a man for 20 years. Having the occasional attraction to someone, regardless of gender, does not confuse me or make me any less confident in my identity as a lesbian. __________________ In the flush of love's light we dare be brave And suddenly we see that love costs all we are and will ever be. Yet it is only love which sets us free. Maya Angelou Wedding Photos: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?...1&l=22b092b98c

04-27-2011, 01:51 PM	#19
Elijah Member How Do You Identify?: Genderqueer Butch Preferred Pronoun?: Masculine ones Relationship Status: Open to healthy possibilities... Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Michigan Posts: 554 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 738 Thanked 1,629 Times in 393 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Queer...allows room for growth and change.

04-27-2011, 02:32 PM	#20
Martina Senior Member How Do You Identify?: * Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: * Posts: 4,999 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,409 Thanked 18,286 Times in 4,167 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Even though my first sexual dream was about a woman, i started out straight, which was not satisfactory. Like many dykes, i couldn't see what all the fuss was about. i mean men were fine. The sex was good, but i'd rather be with my friends. Finally figured that one out. For a few years i was a happy dyke. Then my libido went sorta flat. Meeting a hot butch who knew the dance changed all that. From there, i ID'd as femme as well as lesbian. My mid-life crisis changed a lot about my life. i moved, changed careers, etc. i also dated a couple transmen in a row and rediscovered femmes. i am a dyke and a femme. But my sexual orientation isn't all about butches anymore. Currently, i am in service to a butch-femme couple. Rediscovering femmes has been a joy. i dated one maybe five years ago who made me feel butch. That didn't last. But the two i have been in service to made me feel more feminine and more like a girl, not less. i can't do without that. i have the privilege of serving the feminine body and spirit. It's hot. Damned hot. i still like butches too. Life is good.