Sexual Orientation......Who does or does not have one?

atomiczombie · 12-10-2010, 02:57 PM

I have an orientation. It's femmesensual and queer. Femmesensual means my primary attraction is to femmes. Not straight women. I claim queer because I have little in common with straight people. I just can't relate to them, and I can relate very much to queer-idenitfied folks.

Soft*Silver · 12-10-2010, 03:45 PM

I am glad you explained femmesensual because I thought you had been femme and were transitioning to masculine. No, I am not kidding. And I am not being derogatory. I kept silent because I didnt want to offend and I have this disdain about labels so I didnt want to ask because I was not going to ever use it in my every day life even if I knew what it was. I thought it had to do with your transitioning FtM ...that you also had to transition from femme to masculine. One of the FtMs I dated had presented as a femme lesbian for years before transitioning. I thought thats what this meant...am I explaining myself?

PumaJ · 02-28-2011, 04:04 AM

I've always been sexually oriented toward Butches. Just as I have always been Femme.

There is just something about the way a Butch runs such strong male energy in a female form that rocks my world. I've pondered about the ID of Lesbian. I mean, technically I'm attracted to other women. But in reality, Butch as a gender is not really a woman, nor a man. Adding Femme to Lesbian is sort of helpful, but Queer is just making more and more sense.

I feel zero sexual attraction to women who are not Butch. That doesn't mean I couldn't be sexual with them, because I have been in friends with benefits types of situations, on a couple of occasions. But I am not sexually attracted by such women, so I would not seek out sexual interactions with them.

AtLast · 02-28-2011, 04:37 AM

Simply put, lesbian.

Nat · 02-28-2011, 07:18 AM

I tend to veer away from labels with the word "sexual" in them. Sexuality is obviously a big part of orientation, but I've just gotten too tired of people who deny our rights reducing us to sex. Those who would deny our rights tend to be pretty obsessed with what happens between our sheets. My orientation involves what happens between the sheets, but it also involves what happens in my heart. Also, in my own process of figuring out my orientation, I kept trying to figure it out through sex. If I'd let my heart lead and trusted the sex would be awesome, it would have taken me down a much shorter road to the "aha".

Quintease · 04-11-2011, 09:59 AM

I would have said 100% lesbian, only then I met my bf.

Now I'd say 75% lesbian and 25% transsensual.

LediskoLove99 · 04-26-2011, 10:08 PM

Lesbian. Although I do find myself attracted to guys, just not in the same way I am with women. I'm mean I'm gay not blind haha.

Chazz · 04-27-2011, 09:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

I have an orientation. It's femmesensual and queer. Femmesensual means my primary attraction is to femmes. Not straight women. I claim queer because I have little in common with straight people. I just can't relate to them, and I can relate very much to queer-idenitfied folks.

Love the term "femme-sensual". Guess that makes me a "femme-sensual", butch.

I don't date straight women, either; I have little in common with them, too. It's been interesting trying to convey that to straight women (at dating sites) who contact me for a walk on the down-low.

Being a lesbian is NOT just about who I desire sexually, it's also a world view born of a lived experience as not straight, bi, trans~, etc.. A shared world view/commonality of experience is what adds to the intimacy for me.

Heart · 04-27-2011, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chazz

I don't date straight women, either; I have little in common with them, too. It's been interesting trying to convey that to straight women (at dating sites) who contact me for a walk on the down-low.

Being a lesbian is NOT just about who I desire sexually, it's also a world view born of a lived experience as not straight, bi, trans~, etc.. A shared world view/commonality of experience is what adds to the intimacy for me.

Chazz - Contact you for a "walk" on the DL? Wow. How objectifying. *shakes head*

I was gonna say what Chazz said here, not about str8 women - lol, but that being a lesbian is more than my romantic/erotic/sexual orientation. It's about the community and history I resonate with, the issues & politics I embrace, its part of my identity.

Heart

Martina · 04-27-2011, 03:56 PM

i am culturally a lesbian too, but it's such a generational thing. Young dykes do not know the history, musicians, and books i do -- for the most part. i do not know their references.

i was on chat a while ago, and several of us older dykes were made to feel like fossils when the younguns had never heard of Rubyfruit Jungle.

i do have shared life and cultural experiences that make me a lesbian, but mostly with other lesbians of my generation.

wolfbittenpoet · 04-27-2011, 04:00 PM

Queerer then queer duck

12-10-2010, 02:57 PM	#1
atomiczombie Member How Do You Identify?: Femmesensual Transguy Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him, His Relationship Status: Dating Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Rio Vista, CA Posts: 1,225 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,949 Thanked 3,220 Times in 759 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I have an orientation. It's femmesensual and queer. Femmesensual means my primary attraction is to femmes. Not straight women. I claim queer because I have little in common with straight people. I just can't relate to them, and I can relate very much to queer-idenitfied folks. __________________ http://i277.photobucket.com/albums/k...orums_2000.gif Russian Unicorn http://occupiedmedia.us/

12-10-2010, 03:45 PM	#2
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,592 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,903 Times in 4,062 Posts Rep Power*: 21474857	I am glad you explained femmesensual because I thought you had been femme and were transitioning to masculine. No, I am not kidding. And I am not being derogatory. I kept silent because I didnt want to offend and I have this disdain about labels so I didnt want to ask because I was not going to ever use it in my every day life even if I knew what it was. I thought it had to do with your transitioning FtM ...that you also had to transition from femme to masculine. One of the FtMs I dated had presented as a femme lesbian for years before transitioning. I thought thats what this meant...am I explaining myself? __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

02-28-2011, 04:04 AM	#3
PumaJ Member How Do You Identify?: High Femme Queer Feminist Preferred Pronoun?: she, her Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Portland Metro, Oregon Posts: 200 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,419 Thanked 500 Times in 147 Posts Rep Power: 1652642	I've always been sexually oriented toward Butches. Just as I have always been Femme. There is just something about the way a Butch runs such strong male energy in a female form that rocks my world. I've pondered about the ID of Lesbian. I mean, technically I'm attracted to other women. But in reality, Butch as a gender is not really a woman, nor a man. Adding Femme to Lesbian is sort of helpful, but Queer is just making more and more sense. I feel zero sexual attraction to women who are not Butch. That doesn't mean I couldn't be sexual with them, because I have been in friends with benefits types of situations, on a couple of occasions. But I am not sexually attracted by such women, so I would not seek out sexual interactions with them. __________________ PumaJ

02-28-2011, 07:18 AM	#5
Nat Senior Member How Do You Identify?: bigender (DID System) Preferred Pronoun?: he/him or alter-specific Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Central TX Posts: 3,537 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,047 Thanked 13,967 Times in 2,589 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	I tend to veer away from labels with the word "sexual" in them. Sexuality is obviously a big part of orientation, but I've just gotten too tired of people who deny our rights reducing us to sex. Those who would deny our rights tend to be pretty obsessed with what happens between our sheets. My orientation involves what happens between the sheets, but it also involves what happens in my heart. Also, in my own process of figuring out my orientation, I kept trying to figure it out through sex. If I'd let my heart lead and trusted the sex would be awesome, it would have taken me down a much shorter road to the "aha". __________________ I'm a fountain of blood. In the shape of a girl. - Bjork What is to give light must endure burning. -Viktor Frankl

04-11-2011, 09:59 AM	#6
Quintease Member How Do You Identify?: Rainbow femme Preferred Pronoun?: princess Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 508 Thanked 1,817 Times in 417 Posts Rep Power: 10560327	I would have said 100% lesbian, only then I met my bf. Now I'd say 75% lesbian and 25% transsensual. __________________ It is not worth an intelligent person's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that.

02-28-2011, 04:37 AM	#4
AtLast Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Woman Preferred Pronoun?: HER - SHE Relationship Status: Relating Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: CA & AZ I'm a Snowbird Posts: 5,408 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,826 Thanked 10,827 Times in 3,199 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Simply put, lesbian.

04-26-2011, 10:08 PM	#7
LediskoLove99 Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Permanently neurotic. Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Michigan Posts: 25 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 26 Thanked 100 Times in 19 Posts Rep Power: 380892	Lesbian. Although I do find myself attracted to guys, just not in the same way I am with women. I'm mean I'm gay not blind haha. __________________ Me: Fuck spellcheck! Sarah: Should I take it out to dinner first? Me: That would only be proper.

04-27-2011, 03:56 PM	#10
Martina Senior Member How Do You Identify?: * Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: * Posts: 4,999 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,409 Thanked 18,284 Times in 4,167 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	i am culturally a lesbian too, but it's such a generational thing. Young dykes do not know the history, musicians, and books i do -- for the most part. i do not know their references. i was on chat a while ago, and several of us older dykes were made to feel like fossils when the younguns had never heard of Rubyfruit Jungle. i do have shared life and cultural experiences that make me a lesbian, but mostly with other lesbians of my generation.

04-27-2011, 04:00 PM	#11
wolfbittenpoet Member How Do You Identify?: Typewriter Boy Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: FL Posts: 534 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 891 Thanked 1,578 Times in 402 Posts Rep Power: 7303677	Queerer then queer duck __________________ Burn Burn Burn