Lesbian bed death?

BullDog · 01-31-2011, 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DapperButch

No, this was my point:

My personal thoughts:

Lesbian bed death? = problem in relationship. Does it exist? Well, everyone's (all couplings) frequency in sexual relations decreases over time, so if female/female are having less sex to begin with, it makes sense that it could drop to zero, especially if there are problems in the relationship.

My opinion is that bed death could happen in any coupling if there are problems in the relationship.

Of course health impacts all this, as well.

You took it to talking about males. I spoke of males into order to express how I got to my "lose" theory.

I don't agree with the part in bold. It's a generalization. As you yourself said, there is individual variation.

I get real, real tired of the perpetuation of stereotypes of lesbians and women that I see here almost daily. Real, real tired. Now I am going to go take a few aspirin and go do something else.

DapperButch · 01-31-2011, 10:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BullDog

I don't agree with the part in bold. It's a generalization. As you yourself said, there is individual variation.

I get real, real tired of the perpetuation of stereotypes of lesbians and women that I see here almost daily. Real, real tired. Now I am going to go take a few aspirin and go do something else.

Ok. I was actually about to post that I am off to bed. Good night.

Poss · 12-04-2015, 07:27 AM

and we discuss it like it's a fact about us.

What a terrible thing that heterosexual sexologist woman did. Such a horrible thing to come up with, just because those that took part in the survey don't have physical sex as often as straights and gay guys in the survey did.

I've put up with this crap for 3 decades ...enough is enough! Wouldn't it be ironic if we actually make love with our lesbian partners more often than the other 2 grouped categories do.

Love making for us lesbians encompasses so much more than just physical penetrative type sex practices. The depth of intensity between us is almost mind blowing. That woman probably wouldn't have a clue on how to even begin measuring our way of love making.

We lesbians should never sell ourselves short like this. Be mindful not to view yourself through their eyes!

SnugglyGirl007 · 12-04-2015, 07:11 PM

Love this topic. This has happened in two of my relationships.

Both of them were because I lost complete respect for my lover because of the way they treated me. They literally became unattractive to me over time because of this and the thought of sex with them was basically repulsive.

And these relationships were ON FIRE at first, but sex alone only gets you so far ...

Tuff Stuff · 12-04-2015, 08:19 PM

I need sex 24/7..I need sex with women 24/7,period *coughs* or not! *snort*

My wife is happy if she has me every weekend..which makes me happy.

They say sex is not everything in a relationship,but to me,it's num.1 on my list.

No lesbian bed death here..unless you count me laying on a lesbian bed and,thinking about death???

*Anya* · 12-04-2015, 09:46 PM

The phrase and stereotype of lesbian bed death irks the shit out of me.

The phrase is from a 1983 study that never seems to die.

How about some newer studies? How about lesbians have more orgasms and sex lasts longer:

"Lesbians are apparently having better sex than straight women.

A recent study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine focuses on how sexual orientation associates with orgasm frequency in single men and women.

Researchers collected responses via a 2011 online questionnaire from 6,151 men and women between the ages of 21 and 65. They then only analyzed those response of a smaller subsample of 2,850 singles -- including 1,497 men and 1,353 women -- who had sex within the past 12 months.

Participants were asked to identify their gender, sexual orientation and percentage of time they orgasm with a familiar partner on a scale of zero to 100.

Although responses from the male participants did not vary much based on sexual orientation -- heterosexual men reported an 85.5 percent orgasm rate, gay men 84.7 percent, and bisexual men 77.6 percent -- responses from women showed notable variation. While heterosexual women reported orgasming 61.6 percent of the time and bisexual women reported 58 percent, lesbian women had the highest orgasmrate at 74.7 percent.

In the study text, the researchers posit the higher lesbian percentage could be attributed to factors such as "self-identified lesbian women are more comfortable and familiar with the female body and thus, on average, are better able to induce orgasm in their female partners." Other reasonings include: length of the sexual encounter, attitude towards gender, sexual roles during intercourse and possible hormonal differences.

Author Justin R. Garcia, MS, PhD, who is an assistant professor of gender studies and a director at the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, explained the implications of the findings further in an email to The Huffington Post.

"Little is known about orgasm occurrences among women and men of varied sexual orientations across the adult lifespan," he said. "Understanding the factors that influence variation in orgasm occurrence among sexual minority populations may assist in tailoring behavioral therapies for those of different sexual orientations."

Such a study could offer better insight into better orgasms for all couples, he said.

"Moreover, to the extent that lack of orgasm is seen as a common and unwanted problem, learning more about orgasm in same-sex relationships may inform treatment for men and women in both same-sex and mixed-sex relationships. Consequently, these findings may contribute to promotion of a more informed and positive sexual health care."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/0..._5691470.htmIs

Lesbian bed death?

"So is there any truth behind “lesbian bed death?” It is true that long-term lesbian couples tend to have sex less frequently over time; however, this effect has also been found in almost every other type of long-term relationship, including mixed-sex and male same-sex couples.

This is not to say that sex usually disappears entirely (although it certainly may in some cases—sexless relationships do exist); rather, the point is simply that a decline in sexual frequency is hardly unique to lesbians.

Also, while lesbian couples do tend to have sex less often compared to other couples, sexual frequency data doesn’t tell the full story. If you only focus on the number of sex acts without considering the duration of each act, you may come to erroneous conclusions about who spends the most and who spends the least total time on sex. Indeed, it may very well be that lesbians have sex less often, but when they do have sex, they do it for longer than average—and this is exactly what research has found.

A recent study published in the Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality found that while women in same-sex relationships reported having sex significantly less often than persons in both mixed-sex and male same-sex relationships, women in same-sex relationships reported significantly longer durations of sexual activity than all other groups [2].

Consider this: for women in same-sex relationships, the median (50th percentile) time spent on sex was 30-45 minutes; in contrast, the median for everyone else was 15-30 minutes. Also, whereas about 20% of women in same-sex relationships reported spending an hour or more on sex, durations of this length were much less common among other types of couples.

There were also no differences in sexual satisfaction across couple types, suggesting that any differences in sexual frequency were counterbalanced by differences in sexual duration.

In short, it’s time that the concept of “lesbian bed death” is put to bed once and for all.

While women in same-sex relationships may have sex less often than other couples, their sexual act tends to be longer and they do not appear to be any less sexually satisfied."

[1] Blumstein, P., & Schwartz, P. (1983). American couples: Money, work, sex. New York: Morrow.

[2] Blair, K. L., & Pukall, C. F. (2014). Can less be more? Comparing duration vs. frequency of sexual encounters in same-sex and mixed-sex relationships. The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, 23(2), 123-136.

http://www.lehmiller.com/blog/2015/3...h-a-real-thing

Poss · 12-04-2015, 11:03 PM

Yep, we lesbians are way more into intimacy and less about quickies. I'll go for quality lovemaking over quantity quick fixes every time.

I don't think I could cope with just 15 to 30 minute sexual interplay moments. I orgasm for longer than that! Straight women don't know what they are missing out on.lol

My partner will be knocking off work now.

I've only got one thing on my mind now ...mmm I hope my darling's not too tied.

12-04-2015, 07:27 AM	#3
Poss Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Gay, Lesbian, Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Legally Married in 2018 Join Date: Nov 2015 Location: Victoria, Australia Posts: 38 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 55 Thanked 160 Times in 33 Posts Rep Power: 1932747	This is the ugliest term straights have ever thrown at us ... and we discuss it like it's a fact about us. What a terrible thing that heterosexual sexologist woman did. Such a horrible thing to come up with, just because those that took part in the survey don't have physical sex as often as straights and gay guys in the survey did. I've put up with this crap for 3 decades ...enough is enough! Wouldn't it be ironic if we actually make love with our lesbian partners more often than the other 2 grouped categories do. Love making for us lesbians encompasses so much more than just physical penetrative type sex practices. The depth of intensity between us is almost mind blowing. That woman probably wouldn't have a clue on how to even begin measuring our way of love making. We lesbians should never sell ourselves short like this. Be mindful not to view yourself through their eyes!

12-04-2015, 07:11 PM	#4
SnugglyGirl007 Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Metro Femme Preferred Pronoun?: hottie Relationship Status: all worked up ... Join Date: Nov 2015 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 7 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Rep Power: 0	been there done that Love this topic. This has happened in two of my relationships. Both of them were because I lost complete respect for my lover because of the way they treated me. They literally became unattractive to me over time because of this and the thought of sex with them was basically repulsive. And these relationships were ON FIRE at first, but sex alone only gets you so far ... __________________

12-04-2015, 09:46 PM	#6
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,447 Times in 7,284 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	The phrase and stereotype of lesbian bed death irks the shit out of me. The phrase is from a 1983 study that never seems to die. How about some newer studies? How about lesbians have more orgasms and sex lasts longer: "Lesbians are apparently having better sex than straight women. A recent study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine focuses on how sexual orientation associates with orgasm frequency in single men and women. Researchers collected responses via a 2011 online questionnaire from 6,151 men and women between the ages of 21 and 65. They then only analyzed those response of a smaller subsample of 2,850 singles -- including 1,497 men and 1,353 women -- who had sex within the past 12 months. Participants were asked to identify their gender, sexual orientation and percentage of time they orgasm with a familiar partner on a scale of zero to 100. Although responses from the male participants did not vary much based on sexual orientation -- heterosexual men reported an 85.5 percent orgasm rate, gay men 84.7 percent, and bisexual men 77.6 percent -- responses from women showed notable variation. While heterosexual women reported orgasming 61.6 percent of the time and bisexual women reported 58 percent, lesbian women had the highest orgasmrate at 74.7 percent. In the study text, the researchers posit the higher lesbian percentage could be attributed to factors such as "self-identified lesbian women are more comfortable and familiar with the female body and thus, on average, are better able to induce orgasm in their female partners." Other reasonings include: length of the sexual encounter, attitude towards gender, sexual roles during intercourse and possible hormonal differences. Author Justin R. Garcia, MS, PhD, who is an assistant professor of gender studies and a director at the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, explained the implications of the findings further in an email to The Huffington Post. "Little is known about orgasm occurrences among women and men of varied sexual orientations across the adult lifespan," he said. "Understanding the factors that influence variation in orgasm occurrence among sexual minority populations may assist in tailoring behavioral therapies for those of different sexual orientations." Such a study could offer better insight into better orgasms for all couples, he said. "Moreover, to the extent that lack of orgasm is seen as a common and unwanted problem, learning more about orgasm in same-sex relationships may inform treatment for men and women in both same-sex and mixed-sex relationships. Consequently, these findings may contribute to promotion of a more informed and positive sexual health care." http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/0..._5691470.htmIs Lesbian bed death? "So is there any truth behind “lesbian bed death?” It is true that long-term lesbian couples tend to have sex less frequently over time; however, this effect has also been found in almost every other type of long-term relationship, including mixed-sex and male same-sex couples. This is not to say that sex usually disappears entirely (although it certainly may in some cases—sexless relationships do exist); rather, the point is simply that a decline in sexual frequency is hardly unique to lesbians. Also, while lesbian couples do tend to have sex less often compared to other couples, sexual frequency data doesn’t tell the full story. If you only focus on the number of sex acts without considering the duration of each act, you may come to erroneous conclusions about who spends the most and who spends the least total time on sex. Indeed, it may very well be that lesbians have sex less often, but when they do have sex, they do it for longer than average—and this is exactly what research has found. A recent study published in the Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality found that while women in same-sex relationships reported having sex significantly less often than persons in both mixed-sex and male same-sex relationships, women in same-sex relationships reported significantly longer durations of sexual activity than all other groups [2]. Consider this: for women in same-sex relationships, the median (50th percentile) time spent on sex was 30-45 minutes; in contrast, the median for everyone else was 15-30 minutes. Also, whereas about 20% of women in same-sex relationships reported spending an hour or more on sex, durations of this length were much less common among other types of couples. There were also no differences in sexual satisfaction across couple types, suggesting that any differences in sexual frequency were counterbalanced by differences in sexual duration. In short, it’s time that the concept of “lesbian bed death” is put to bed once and for all. While women in same-sex relationships may have sex less often than other couples, their sexual act tends to be longer and they do not appear to be any less sexually satisfied." [1] Blumstein, P., & Schwartz, P. (1983). American couples: Money, work, sex. New York: Morrow. [2] Blair, K. L., & Pukall, C. F. (2014). Can less be more? Comparing duration vs. frequency of sexual encounters in same-sex and mixed-sex relationships. The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, 23(2), 123-136. http://www.lehmiller.com/blog/2015/3...h-a-real-thing __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner

12-04-2015, 11:03 PM	#7
Poss Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Gay, Lesbian, Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Legally Married in 2018 Join Date: Nov 2015 Location: Victoria, Australia Posts: 38 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 55 Thanked 160 Times in 33 Posts Rep Power: 1932747	Well said Anya and brilliantly put together Yep, we lesbians are way more into intimacy and less about quickies. I'll go for quality lovemaking over quantity quick fixes every time. I don't think I could cope with just 15 to 30 minute sexual interplay moments. I orgasm for longer than that! Straight women don't know what they are missing out on.lol My partner will be knocking off work now. I've only got one thing on my mind now ...mmm I hope my darling's not too tied.

12-04-2015, 08:19 PM	#5
Tuff Stuff Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Woman Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Married Join Date: May 2013 Location: California Posts: 695 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 904 Thanked 1,315 Times in 505 Posts Rep Power: 9408454	I need sex 24/7..I need sex with women 24/7,period coughs or not! snort My wife is happy if she has me every weekend..which makes me happy. They say sex is not everything in a relationship,but to me,it's num.1 on my list. No lesbian bed death here..unless you count me laying on a lesbian bed and,thinking about death???