Under 30 - Coming Up and Coming Out

cerys · 01-26-2010, 08:42 PM

I always kind of knew that something was up, but I didn't think I was gay because the thought of kissing someone wearing lipstick was SO not an attractive idea to me. See, that's what TV does to you - rots your brain!

I was in college before I ever met a butch, so I was in college before I knew I was gay. That's all it took. She was my roommate my junior year of college for a semester. Yep, I seduced my roommate and then went abroad to China. After that, I knew what I was looking for. Before then, I just had no idea what was out there or what was possible.

bright_arrow · 02-17-2010, 02:46 AM

I'm sorry for the length of this post. It is late and my train of thought isn't spectacular, so I hope you can follow along.

I was 12 when I realized I liked girls. Sure, I could admit boys were physically good looking, but I was in no way interested in dating them. I grew up in a small town where everyone knows everyone, a school with no diversity (two African American students and three Chinese students, the rest Caucasian) , so being gay was a big no-no.

We moved to Arizona that summer since my father was stationed there, and I told my new group of friends I was bisexual. The guys thought it was cool, and the sister of one of my new friends identified bisexual as well. I was accepted.

Fast forward to our move to Washington (the state, yes I was a military brat). New friends again, I dated a few guys, but had longer and more satisfying relationships with girls. I came out as a lesbian at the age of 13. My parents told me it was a phase.

When I was 17 I told my mother again that I was a lesbian, and that I was dating a girl and had feelings for her beyond the 'friends' feelings. I just remember her not looking at me as I slid down the wall in tears and cried on the floor as she denied me recognition.

At 18, I went to college and met a guy 32 years old. I moved out of my house without telling my family I was leaving and started living my own life. We got engaged, and later on I became pregnant.. After miscarrying a short time later (something I have never told him), I admitted to him I was a lesbian. He told me that he always suspected I was, and gave me a month to move out. We had already been drifting and we were both talking to someone else, so it was a mutual ending. I moved in with my gay boys, later met a girl, and ended up moving in with her.

One day on the phone my mother asked me if I was living with her, and I told her yes. After many many conversations with my mother, and her seeing that I was happy and still had a "normal" life, my mother accepted me being a lesbian, sort of. My father was still against it and tried to pair me up with men regardless.

Now, at the age of 22 and almost 23, both of my parents have embraced it, and me. They no longer try to set me up with men. They absolutely love my girlfriend and her child, and even my father calls her my girlfriend, whether he is talking to me about her or if introducing her to extended family/friends of the family (Shocking, extremely).

So for those who may feel discouraged, sometimes it takes a very long time, just have to roll with the punches and keep ahold of who you are, because only you can live your life and make yourself happy.

Happiness can't be found, it's something you create.

P.S. A big thank you to my little sister, she has been my #1 supporter since I came out at 12 (when she was 6). Try and speak ill of LGBT folk and my sister will kick some serious ass. Anytime my folks would mention guys my sister would say something like "Oops, nope, she's still gay!" I love her.

bright_arrow · 02-17-2010, 02:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cerys

I always kind of knew that something was up, but I didn't think I was gay because the thought of kissing someone wearing lipstick was SO not an attractive idea to me.

Amen to that - Viva la butches!

Bard · 08-11-2010, 10:01 PM

Just adding my 2 cents worth to this.. I came out at 22 yes a bit ago, when my first Girlfriend had just died in a car accident, needless to say I was a mess only reason I had not been in the car was that the door would not open so I had gone home with our other room mate.. anyway on the phone with my dad dying inside and I just blurted it out to him oh I had been so scared to say anything to him but I worried needlessly he has was supportive and always has been. when others doubt me he never has even jokes that his only daughter is more like him that I got all his charm. I know I am one of the lucky ones and in a way his acceptence makes it not so hard to hide for all the years I have had to being in the military...

silentshout · 11-10-2010, 01:10 PM

I realized I was gay at 17. (bi around 11 or 12) I've never really came out. I don't see the point. Especially to family. I mean, I don't want them all up in my business. And if straight kids don't have to say anything, then I don't see the reason why I should.

lipstixgal · 11-10-2010, 01:15 PM

I never knew I was gay until my mid thirties and was married to a man at the time. But pursued a relationship anyway and now I am glad, wish I had someone at this time in my life but hopefully soon I will have a girlfriend who love and cares about me just wish I would have come out sooner...

Mtn · 11-10-2010, 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by silentshout

I realized I was gay at 17. (bi around 11 or 12) I've never really came out. I don't see the point. Especially to family. I mean, I don't want them all up in my business. And if straight kids don't have to say anything, then I don't see the reason why I should.

I felt the same way for a long time, really until I started seeing women with children and it dawned on me by not coming out I was teaching them homophobia, they knew we weren't "just roommates" but the silence we practiced kept them silent about their lives as well. That was just my experience though.

silentshout · 11-10-2010, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mtn

I felt the same way for a long time, really until I started seeing women with children and it dawned on me by not coming out I was teaching them homophobia, they knew we weren't "just roommates" but the silence we practiced kept them silent about their lives as well. That was just my experience though.

Understandable. I'm sure my example isn't the best one for closeted youth, however I feel more at ease keeping it to myself. Once I come with a gf, then it's up to them to think what they want. Everyone has their own way, and some parents are more in tune to it than others.

Ravin · 11-10-2010, 03:03 PM

Hello Everyone..

I knew something was up in high school when I was paying more attention to the cheerleaders than the football players..
I had my first encounter in the 8th grade with a kiss and since then I have never looked back..
When you are young and finding out your sexuality it is hard at times but you always should remember to be true to yourself no matter who you are.

Pixie · 11-10-2010, 04:00 PM

Hello All!

I am 22 now and came out at 14, but knew a wee bit before that. It was never really hard coming out per say, I was worried and nervous, but I just dove out into the world.

I think for me the most challenging thing has been being a young femme. Not only do you have that time of questioning internally, long after a decision, you have the external questioning from others. Its like others think you will grow out of it because you are young. Or because you are femme there is "hope". *eye roll*

It is also interesting that identifying as queer gets treated like coping out of an answer. You get that look, so are you bi? It kinda makes me giggle.

......anywho off my soapbox of randomness....

Captain Franki · 04-28-2011, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cerys

I always kind of knew that something was up, but I didn't think I was gay because the thought of kissing someone wearing lipstick was SO not an attractive idea to me. See, that's what TV does to you - rots your brain!

I was in college before I ever met a butch, so I was in college before I knew I was gay. That's all it took. She was my roommate my junior year of college for a semester. Yep, I seduced my roommate and then went abroad to China. After that, I knew what I was looking for. Before then, I just had no idea what was out there or what was possible.

I totally get this. I'm most attracted to boyish spirits and growing up most girls seemed to be feminine, so i didn't consider it for a long while, and even when i did i didn't think i crushed on any girls (although looking back i suspect an unresolved tension with one friend). I can appreciate feminine women now, but really i'm all about boyish women and gqs. I <3 Bois. After years of straight relationships with boyfriends, I'm looking forward to having queer fun with a boifriend one day.

I suspected bisexuality at 15, came out as Trans* and queer at 19, now at 20 I'm still a newbie.

Captain Franki · 04-28-2011, 06:00 PM

In the real world find it really hard being new to everything at 20 sometimes.

I feel like everyone else around me has known they were queer all their lives and already figured this shit out. I feel so ignorant and green, or a fraud even.

I don't know how to act and tell myself that everyone expects me to know everything, something.

I'm used to men. I'm used to the world of straight dating. I'm used to cismale bodies.

I have no idea what I'm doing.

It's like going through adolescence all over again.

AtLast · 04-28-2011, 06:45 PM

Just want to say I am so glad that all of the under 30 folks are here on the Planet. I learn quite a bit from younger generations within queerdom. My life was just different because of my age, but I sure remember a lot of inner confusion. I so hope that some of the paths are easier for our youth. I also know you all will make your unique marks.

And you rawk!!!

wolfbittenpoet · 04-28-2011, 06:58 PM

I'm 24. It's taken me years not of accepting that I like girls but that I am trans. I was 19 when I finally accepted it. Now I am getting to the point that I am accepting that it is femininity that I like on any sex. I am still often confused and lost but I am willing to ask directions or at least invest in compasses now. I was recently told that my parents thought I was trans as early as age 3 or 4 something to do about crying for days until they bought me a football uniform because I hated the cheerleader one my grandmother had bought. I guess I was just scared to be thought of as even more different.

Goo · 04-29-2011, 10:39 PM

I'm 27, but I've known I liked women since I was a kid, didn't come out til I was 16, and that wasn't by choice. But now looking back on it, I'm so glad that my good friend outted me.

It's hard sometimes being young and finding your identity in the community at large, because sometimes you're still finding yourself, like I am.

Love this thread by the way

AlphaDrug · 08-12-2011, 05:39 AM

The younger crowd here isn't very large or active I take it... I'm 22, and I'm afraid I'm one of the babies here... I didn't even know I COULD like girls till I was a freshman in highschool, 8 years ago, I was blessed with the best group of friends a girl could ask for, the indi/goth outsider kids who were accepting of everything. I did the whole straight to bisexual to gay thing.

I'd met my first and only boyfriend the summer before high school, dated him for two years, the entire time I had a crush on my best friend Crystal, shes the one who gets the gold toaster, I learned from her that it was okay to like girls and normal, so 2 years down the road I wasn't happy with my boyfriend, I went to prom with Crys and told him that there was a chance I might experiment with her that night, he jokingly just said to take video... I laugh at that now but originally it pissed me off.

I slept with my best friend that night and was smitten, it was insane and everything I'd been looking for. From there I declared I was bisexual... never dated a guy again so it evolved into comfortably telling people I was gay.

My coming out story to my parents is... interesting... and not how I'd planned it. Haha! If you want to hear that one just ask. XD I don't have much time and have to leave for work soon.

My favorite campaign that happened recently was the IT GETS BETTER thing that all the celebrities did, still thinking about it makes me tear up, because if I hadn't had the support of my friends in high school I'd have had a much harder time coming out. Luckily for me as well live really close to DC, so everything is pretty diverse and accepting to begin with, not a small town kind of girl.

untangle · 10-21-2011, 12:10 PM

Hey everyone, first post here! It’s going to be a long one too!

From the time that I was 8 years old I knew I was different. I got my first crush on a teacher of mine and didn’t really understand it at all. I didn’t know what liking your female teacher meant, it just WAS.

As the years progressed and I got a crush on my best friend and went through my junior high years, I wanted to explore. Being the big dork that I am, I got really into computers/browsing and started reading about GLBT people. I remember it being such a huge deal for Ellen Degeneres to come out and I always looked at my family for their opinions when a gay character/person would show themselves in the media. I wanted to get an understanding of what I had coming.

I started chatting sporadically in places like Gay.com/AOL because I knew no other GLBT people, or none that were out.

The first couple of years of high school were pretty lonely and the girl crushes kept on despite trying to fight the fact that I was gay. I didn’t want to feel so alone and different. I remember reading about a Coming Out stories book online and had to get it somehow. I ended up throwing the book away after I was finished reading because I didn’t want my parents to catch it in my room someday. Every once in a while, my own mother would ask me if I liked boys and of course I would never give her a straight answer. Thankfully the last couple of years of high school I met some friends that ended up coming out to me, I to them.

At 25 years old, I decided I would come out to my closest sibling. I ended up getting very emotional because up until then, I was only out to friends or co-workers. Family was a whole different experience. Through the years my Catholic family has said awful, derogatory things towards gay people. Another sibling of mine even mentioned that she would not allow a gay person around her kids. That was devastating to hear.
When we have get-togethers and the topic comes up, my close sister and I will argue until we’re blue in the face to try and get a positive response from them. It never happens. We don’t typically discuss our love lives, it’s almost like a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy throughout the family.

Now at 26, coming out entirely seems a little more possible everyday and I will continue to take baby steps. In the back of my mind, I believe my family is in some major denial and could possibly accept me. Then there’s that speck of doubt that scares me that I could lose them forever.

Without the great friends, Internet, or books I’m not sure what sort of direction my life would have gone. The resources we have readily available to us through the web are amazing and I too especially love the It Gets Better project!

Princess · 03-30-2012, 01:37 AM

I wanna give this thread a little bump because I think it's important for those of us under 30 to share our stories and learning experiences. Ya never know who is reading these, and how much it will help them! With that said...

I am 28 years old and I came out when I was 14. It was a huge accident to be honest with you. I mean, I had known for a long while that I was not interested in boys. I didn't quite put 2 and 2 together until the summer before I turned 14.

My best friend went away to Oregon for the summer, and when she got back I of course went to her house for a sleepover. She came out to me that night, and told me that she had met a girl in Oregon and she was dating her. I will tell you that my reaction was sort of...odd. I felt uncomfortable with her, and actually faked sick to go home! When I got home all I could think about was if that was me...Erika and I talked about it later on that week and I came to the conclusion that I was indeed a "lesbian" That conversation took place just to the left of our favorite baseball field, under this big ol tree and she ended up being my very FIRST girlfriend.

Fast forward to how I was outed though...I guess Erika and I hadnt been so quiet, or so subtle about our relationship because people at school were talking. We were the only two gays in the whole school so of course it was a big deal.

Somehow, my mother found out through the grapevine. We were watching t.v. King of the Hill actually, and I don't know why I remember that, maybe because it was an important moment. Anyway, she looked at me and said:

"Ang are you bisexual?"

I thought about that very carefully for a moment and I said:

"No mom, i'm gay and Erika is my girlfriend."

That was pretty much it! She was supportive of me instantly and then it seemed to spread like wildfire. Soon enough my whole family and seemingly the whole town knew. I haven't ever looked back. I can say, I am really glad that Erika had that summer away, because it forced me to think about things. Otherwise, it would have been a long struggle trying to come to those terms.

Also note, I am leaving out a whole lot of in between negativity things that I encountered on my journey, but when I am feeling up to it I will share that too.

Stud_puppy1991 · 04-29-2014, 03:31 AM

I'm 23 now, but I had known I was different since I was around 4 or 5, got my first girl crush when I was 12, but I had thought about girls a bit before then. I identified as bi for a short while, as i wasn't sure yet if I was bi or completely gay. Then, at 13, I had my first relationship with a girl and this was also my first sexual encounter with one. And I was in love with this girl, hardcore, yet, I still wasn't at full terms with being gay just yet. I went back to dating guys, only to realize that it did nothing for me but make me empty and numb. Whenever they kissed me or we made love, I couldn't stop thinking about my first time with my ex, her and I. And I couldn't stop thinking of women in general. So then, years later, when i was 18, I came out, this time as a lesbian. It wasn't easy, as my family life fell apart and bigotry filled my life, but I made it. And, I couldn't be prouder.

VanyllaVenom · 06-10-2014, 08:41 PM

I wasn't sure where to post, but I'll try here. Sorry for length

I'm almost 31, and recently am coming out for the second time. I was brought up Catholic, very traditional white upper class. I didn't even know what gay was until middle school. Of course everything I had was fru fru and pink, barbies, make-up, dress-up, etc. When I was 7, me and a girl from school played "doctor" naked, and then I started to really get confused.

Fast forward to 7th grade (worst time of my life), my best friend who was the opposite of me - extroverted, popular, etc.... told everyone I was gay. Not sure why but I guess that's life. I was crushed because I knew this was not "acceptable", being young and from a small town, so I rarely attended school from then on.

I met my next group of friends in 8th grade. One of my best friends wasn't feminine at all, and I had her sleep over once, and I just couldn't help myself and attacked her lol. I never talked to her again, I was afraid to. I thought she would tell everyone that I really WAS gay.

I moved away, and for years just labeled myself as bisexual. I came out as gay when I was 23, had a few relationships and after reading a lot of things on the internet, realized what might have happened in my last relationship and that it wasn't my fault, which helps a lot.

I'm only out to my mom, and I think my brother knows but he would support me. It's hard looking like a feminine female and meeting people I like around me.

Thanks for having this thread!

08-11-2010, 10:01 PM	#4
Bard Family Man How Do You Identify?: TG Male Preferred Pronoun?: Masculine ones Relationship Status: She just gets me Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ..... Posts: 2,828 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,997 Thanked 12,786 Times in 2,431 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Just adding my 2 cents worth to this.. I came out at 22 yes a bit ago, when my first Girlfriend had just died in a car accident, needless to say I was a mess only reason I had not been in the car was that the door would not open so I had gone home with our other room mate.. anyway on the phone with my dad dying inside and I just blurted it out to him oh I had been so scared to say anything to him but I worried needlessly he has was supportive and always has been. when others doubt me he never has even jokes that his only daughter is more like him that I got all his charm. I know I am one of the lucky ones and in a way his acceptence makes it not so hard to hide for all the years I have had to being in the military... __________________ This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill Fifteen percent concentrated power of will Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain And a hundred percent reason to remember the name! Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it.

11-10-2010, 01:10 PM	#5
silentshout Junior Member How Do You Identify?: andro Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: single Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Turlock, CA Posts: 12 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13 Thanked 16 Times in 6 Posts Rep Power: 5963	I realized I was gay at 17. (bi around 11 or 12) I've never really came out. I don't see the point. Especially to family. I mean, I don't want them all up in my business. And if straight kids don't have to say anything, then I don't see the reason why I should. __________________ "fortify is not a matter of events, it depends upon the tides with contentment for this is an impregnable fortress"

11-10-2010, 04:00 PM	#10
Pixie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Equal Opportunity Friend Preferred Pronoun?: Girl Relationship Status: in service Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Sacramento! Posts: 2,868 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,691 Thanked 4,103 Times in 1,332 Posts Rep Power: 15274784	Excuse the ramble Hello All! I am 22 now and came out at 14, but knew a wee bit before that. It was never really hard coming out per say, I was worried and nervous, but I just dove out into the world. I think for me the most challenging thing has been being a young femme. Not only do you have that time of questioning internally, long after a decision, you have the external questioning from others. Its like others think you will grow out of it because you are young. Or because you are femme there is "hope". eye roll It is also interesting that identifying as queer gets treated like coping out of an answer. You get that look, so are you bi? It kinda makes me giggle. ......anywho off my soapbox of randomness.... __________________ Unexplored glimmering in the rough How does a diamond hide? -Pixie-

04-28-2011, 06:58 PM	#14
wolfbittenpoet Member How Do You Identify?: Typewriter Boy Preferred Pronoun?: He/They Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: FL where cows go mooooo Posts: 535 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 893 Thanked 1,579 Times in 403 Posts Rep Power: 7518427	I'm 24. It's taken me years not of accepting that I like girls but that I am trans. I was 19 when I finally accepted it. Now I am getting to the point that I am accepting that it is femininity that I like on any sex. I am still often confused and lost but I am willing to ask directions or at least invest in compasses now. I was recently told that my parents thought I was trans as early as age 3 or 4 something to do about crying for days until they bought me a football uniform because I hated the cheerleader one my grandmother had bought. I guess I was just scared to be thought of as even more different. __________________ Burn Burn Burn

04-29-2011, 10:39 PM	#15
Goo Member How Do You Identify?: dapper and androgynous by nature, human by choice Preferred Pronoun?: i usually answer to anything Relationship Status: in a LDR since Oct 2010 Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: somewhere on Planet Earth, in a house, in a city Posts: 116 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 68 Thanked 118 Times in 54 Posts Rep Power: 505456	I'm 27, but I've known I liked women since I was a kid, didn't come out til I was 16, and that wasn't by choice. But now looking back on it, I'm so glad that my good friend outted me. It's hard sometimes being young and finding your identity in the community at large, because sometimes you're still finding yourself, like I am. Love this thread by the way __________________ http://en.spongepedia.org/images/thu...-Goolagoon.jpg The Artist formerly Known as CottonCandy

01-26-2010, 08:42 PM	#1
cerys Junior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Malden, Massachusetts Posts: 23 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 0 Thanked 17 Times in 7 Posts Rep Power: 16	I always kind of knew that something was up, but I didn't think I was gay because the thought of kissing someone wearing lipstick was SO not an attractive idea to me. See, that's what TV does to you - rots your brain! I was in college before I ever met a butch, so I was in college before I knew I was gay. That's all it took. She was my roommate my junior year of college for a semester. Yep, I seduced my roommate and then went abroad to China. After that, I knew what I was looking for. Before then, I just had no idea what was out there or what was possible.

02-17-2010, 02:46 AM	#2
bright_arrow ☆ the stars are aligned ☆ How Do You Identify?: one queer mama Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: married to my Boo Daddy <3 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: nor cal Posts: 2,910 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,644 Thanked 9,363 Times in 2,296 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I'm sorry for the length of this post. It is late and my train of thought isn't spectacular, so I hope you can follow along. I was 12 when I realized I liked girls. Sure, I could admit boys were physically good looking, but I was in no way interested in dating them. I grew up in a small town where everyone knows everyone, a school with no diversity (two African American students and three Chinese students, the rest Caucasian) , so being gay was a big no-no. We moved to Arizona that summer since my father was stationed there, and I told my new group of friends I was bisexual. The guys thought it was cool, and the sister of one of my new friends identified bisexual as well. I was accepted. Fast forward to our move to Washington (the state, yes I was a military brat). New friends again, I dated a few guys, but had longer and more satisfying relationships with girls. I came out as a lesbian at the age of 13. My parents told me it was a phase. When I was 17 I told my mother again that I was a lesbian, and that I was dating a girl and had feelings for her beyond the 'friends' feelings. I just remember her not looking at me as I slid down the wall in tears and cried on the floor as she denied me recognition. At 18, I went to college and met a guy 32 years old. I moved out of my house without telling my family I was leaving and started living my own life. We got engaged, and later on I became pregnant.. After miscarrying a short time later (something I have never told him), I admitted to him I was a lesbian. He told me that he always suspected I was, and gave me a month to move out. We had already been drifting and we were both talking to someone else, so it was a mutual ending. I moved in with my gay boys, later met a girl, and ended up moving in with her. One day on the phone my mother asked me if I was living with her, and I told her yes. After many many conversations with my mother, and her seeing that I was happy and still had a "normal" life, my mother accepted me being a lesbian, sort of. My father was still against it and tried to pair me up with men regardless. Now, at the age of 22 and almost 23, both of my parents have embraced it, and me. They no longer try to set me up with men. They absolutely love my girlfriend and her child, and even my father calls her my girlfriend, whether he is talking to me about her or if introducing her to extended family/friends of the family (Shocking, extremely). So for those who may feel discouraged, sometimes it takes a very long time, just have to roll with the punches and keep ahold of who you are, because only you can live your life and make yourself happy. Happiness can't be found, it's something you create. P.S. A big thank you to my little sister, she has been my #1 supporter since I came out at 12 (when she was 6). Try and speak ill of LGBT folk and my sister will kick some serious ass. Anytime my folks would mention guys my sister would say something like "Oops, nope, she's still gay!" I love her.

11-10-2010, 01:15 PM	#6
lipstixgal Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: coupled Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: New Jersey Posts: 3,028 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 201 Thanked 1,690 Times in 1,064 Posts Rep Power: 1494761	I never knew I was gay until my mid thirties and was married to a man at the time. But pursued a relationship anyway and now I am glad, wish I had someone at this time in my life but hopefully soon I will have a girlfriend who love and cares about me just wish I would have come out sooner...

11-10-2010, 03:03 PM	#9
Ravin Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Girl Relationship Status: Otherside Of My Bed Is Empty Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Coast Line Posts: 13 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1 Thanked 18 Times in 9 Posts Rep Power: 6370	Hello Everyone.. I knew something was up in high school when I was paying more attention to the cheerleaders than the football players.. I had my first encounter in the 8th grade with a kiss and since then I have never looked back.. When you are young and finding out your sexuality it is hard at times but you always should remember to be true to yourself no matter who you are.

04-28-2011, 06:00 PM	#12
Captain Franki Junior Member How Do You Identify?: FAAB Genderqueer; Camp as Christmas; Utterly Confused; Pokemon Master Preferred Pronoun?: They or any other neutral pronoun Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 37 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 15 Thanked 43 Times in 18 Posts Rep Power: 148639	In the real world find it really hard being new to everything at 20 sometimes. I feel like everyone else around me has known they were queer all their lives and already figured this shit out. I feel so ignorant and green, or a fraud even. I don't know how to act and tell myself that everyone expects me to know everything, something. I'm used to men. I'm used to the world of straight dating. I'm used to cismale bodies. I have no idea what I'm doing. It's like going through adolescence all over again.

04-28-2011, 06:45 PM	#13
AtLast Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Woman Preferred Pronoun?: HER - SHE Relationship Status: Relating Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: CA & AZ I'm a Snowbird Posts: 5,408 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,826 Thanked 10,827 Times in 3,199 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Just want to say I am so glad that all of the under 30 folks are here on the Planet. I learn quite a bit from younger generations within queerdom. My life was just different because of my age, but I sure remember a lot of inner confusion. I so hope that some of the paths are easier for our youth. I also know you all will make your unique marks. And you rawk!!!

08-12-2011, 05:39 AM	#16
AlphaDrug Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Female Relationship Status: Fresh Meat Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Reisterstown, MD Posts: 102 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 55 Thanked 300 Times in 75 Posts Rep Power: 3148780	The younger crowd here isn't very large or active I take it... I'm 22, and I'm afraid I'm one of the babies here... I didn't even know I COULD like girls till I was a freshman in highschool, 8 years ago, I was blessed with the best group of friends a girl could ask for, the indi/goth outsider kids who were accepting of everything. I did the whole straight to bisexual to gay thing. I'd met my first and only boyfriend the summer before high school, dated him for two years, the entire time I had a crush on my best friend Crystal, shes the one who gets the gold toaster, I learned from her that it was okay to like girls and normal, so 2 years down the road I wasn't happy with my boyfriend, I went to prom with Crys and told him that there was a chance I might experiment with her that night, he jokingly just said to take video... I laugh at that now but originally it pissed me off. I slept with my best friend that night and was smitten, it was insane and everything I'd been looking for. From there I declared I was bisexual... never dated a guy again so it evolved into comfortably telling people I was gay. My coming out story to my parents is... interesting... and not how I'd planned it. Haha! If you want to hear that one just ask. XD I don't have much time and have to leave for work soon. My favorite campaign that happened recently was the IT GETS BETTER thing that all the celebrities did, still thinking about it makes me tear up, because if I hadn't had the support of my friends in high school I'd have had a much harder time coming out. Luckily for me as well live really close to DC, so everything is pretty diverse and accepting to begin with, not a small town kind of girl. __________________ "Theres only us, theres only this. Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No other road, no other way... No day but today!"

10-21-2011, 12:10 PM	#17
untangle Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Preferred Pronoun?: whatever works Relationship Status: single Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Arizona Posts: 14 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34 Thanked 48 Times in 12 Posts Rep Power: 918102	Hey everyone, first post here! It’s going to be a long one too! From the time that I was 8 years old I knew I was different. I got my first crush on a teacher of mine and didn’t really understand it at all. I didn’t know what liking your female teacher meant, it just WAS. As the years progressed and I got a crush on my best friend and went through my junior high years, I wanted to explore. Being the big dork that I am, I got really into computers/browsing and started reading about GLBT people. I remember it being such a huge deal for Ellen Degeneres to come out and I always looked at my family for their opinions when a gay character/person would show themselves in the media. I wanted to get an understanding of what I had coming. I started chatting sporadically in places like Gay.com/AOL because I knew no other GLBT people, or none that were out. The first couple of years of high school were pretty lonely and the girl crushes kept on despite trying to fight the fact that I was gay. I didn’t want to feel so alone and different. I remember reading about a Coming Out stories book online and had to get it somehow. I ended up throwing the book away after I was finished reading because I didn’t want my parents to catch it in my room someday. Every once in a while, my own mother would ask me if I liked boys and of course I would never give her a straight answer. Thankfully the last couple of years of high school I met some friends that ended up coming out to me, I to them. At 25 years old, I decided I would come out to my closest sibling. I ended up getting very emotional because up until then, I was only out to friends or co-workers. Family was a whole different experience. Through the years my Catholic family has said awful, derogatory things towards gay people. Another sibling of mine even mentioned that she would not allow a gay person around her kids. That was devastating to hear. When we have get-togethers and the topic comes up, my close sister and I will argue until we’re blue in the face to try and get a positive response from them. It never happens. We don’t typically discuss our love lives, it’s almost like a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy throughout the family. Now at 26, coming out entirely seems a little more possible everyday and I will continue to take baby steps. In the back of my mind, I believe my family is in some major denial and could possibly accept me. Then there’s that speck of doubt that scares me that I could lose them forever. Without the great friends, Internet, or books I’m not sure what sort of direction my life would have gone. The resources we have readily available to us through the web are amazing and I too especially love the It Gets Better project!

03-30-2012, 01:37 AM	#18
Princess Member How Do You Identify?: princess Preferred Pronoun?: She, her. Relationship Status: One singular sensation! Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Topeka, KS Posts: 1,341 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,082 Thanked 4,582 Times in 1,009 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I wanna give this thread a little bump because I think it's important for those of us under 30 to share our stories and learning experiences. Ya never know who is reading these, and how much it will help them! With that said... I am 28 years old and I came out when I was 14. It was a huge accident to be honest with you. I mean, I had known for a long while that I was not interested in boys. I didn't quite put 2 and 2 together until the summer before I turned 14. My best friend went away to Oregon for the summer, and when she got back I of course went to her house for a sleepover. She came out to me that night, and told me that she had met a girl in Oregon and she was dating her. I will tell you that my reaction was sort of...odd. I felt uncomfortable with her, and actually faked sick to go home! When I got home all I could think about was if that was me...Erika and I talked about it later on that week and I came to the conclusion that I was indeed a "lesbian" That conversation took place just to the left of our favorite baseball field, under this big ol tree and she ended up being my very FIRST girlfriend. Fast forward to how I was outed though...I guess Erika and I hadnt been so quiet, or so subtle about our relationship because people at school were talking. We were the only two gays in the whole school so of course it was a big deal. Somehow, my mother found out through the grapevine. We were watching t.v. King of the Hill actually, and I don't know why I remember that, maybe because it was an important moment. Anyway, she looked at me and said: "Ang are you bisexual?" I thought about that very carefully for a moment and I said: "No mom, i'm gay and Erika is my girlfriend." That was pretty much it! She was supportive of me instantly and then it seemed to spread like wildfire. Soon enough my whole family and seemingly the whole town knew. I haven't ever looked back. I can say, I am really glad that Erika had that summer away, because it forced me to think about things. Otherwise, it would have been a long struggle trying to come to those terms. Also note, I am leaving out a whole lot of in between negativity things that I encountered on my journey, but when I am feeling up to it I will share that too.

04-29-2014, 03:31 AM	#19
Stud_puppy1991 Member How Do You Identify?: butch, gentleman Preferred Pronoun?: Hy, Hym, "Hey Handsome", and also throwing in a "Sup man" or a "You're sexy" will work Relationship Status: Back to Bachelorhood Join Date: May 2011 Location: Louisville, Kentucky Posts: 586 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 499 Thanked 995 Times in 361 Posts Rep Power: 7051416	I'm 23 now, but I had known I was different since I was around 4 or 5, got my first girl crush when I was 12, but I had thought about girls a bit before then. I identified as bi for a short while, as i wasn't sure yet if I was bi or completely gay. Then, at 13, I had my first relationship with a girl and this was also my first sexual encounter with one. And I was in love with this girl, hardcore, yet, I still wasn't at full terms with being gay just yet. I went back to dating guys, only to realize that it did nothing for me but make me empty and numb. Whenever they kissed me or we made love, I couldn't stop thinking about my first time with my ex, her and I. And I couldn't stop thinking of women in general. So then, years later, when i was 18, I came out, this time as a lesbian. It wasn't easy, as my family life fell apart and bigotry filled my life, but I made it. And, I couldn't be prouder.

06-10-2014, 08:41 PM	#20
VanyllaVenom Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jun 2014 Location: Central Florida Posts: 4 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16 Thanked 13 Times in 4 Posts Rep Power: 0	About Me I wasn't sure where to post, but I'll try here. Sorry for length I'm almost 31, and recently am coming out for the second time. I was brought up Catholic, very traditional white upper class. I didn't even know what gay was until middle school. Of course everything I had was fru fru and pink, barbies, make-up, dress-up, etc. When I was 7, me and a girl from school played "doctor" naked, and then I started to really get confused. Fast forward to 7th grade (worst time of my life), my best friend who was the opposite of me - extroverted, popular, etc.... told everyone I was gay. Not sure why but I guess that's life. I was crushed because I knew this was not "acceptable", being young and from a small town, so I rarely attended school from then on. I met my next group of friends in 8th grade. One of my best friends wasn't feminine at all, and I had her sleep over once, and I just couldn't help myself and attacked her lol. I never talked to her again, I was afraid to. I thought she would tell everyone that I really WAS gay. I moved away, and for years just labeled myself as bisexual. I came out as gay when I was 23, had a few relationships and after reading a lot of things on the internet, realized what might have happened in my last relationship and that it wasn't my fault, which helps a lot. I'm only out to my mom, and I think my brother knows but he would support me. It's hard looking like a feminine female and meeting people I like around me. Thanks for having this thread!