Under 30 - Coming Up and Coming Out

[untangle]

Hey everyone, first post here! It’s going to be a long one too!

From the time that I was 8 years old I knew I was different. I got my first crush on a teacher of mine and didn’t really understand it at all. I didn’t know what liking your female teacher meant, it just WAS.

As the years progressed and I got a crush on my best friend and went through my junior high years, I wanted to explore. Being the big dork that I am, I got really into computers/browsing and started reading about GLBT people. I remember it being such a huge deal for Ellen Degeneres to come out and I always looked at my family for their opinions when a gay character/person would show themselves in the media. I wanted to get an understanding of what I had coming.

I started chatting sporadically in places like Gay.com/AOL because I knew no other GLBT people, or none that were out.

The first couple of years of high school were pretty lonely and the girl crushes kept on despite trying to fight the fact that I was gay. I didn’t want to feel so alone and different. I remember reading about a Coming Out stories book online and had to get it somehow. I ended up throwing the book away after I was finished reading because I didn’t want my parents to catch it in my room someday. Every once in a while, my own mother would ask me if I liked boys and of course I would never give her a straight answer. Thankfully the last couple of years of high school I met some friends that ended up coming out to me, I to them.

At 25 years old, I decided I would come out to my closest sibling. I ended up getting very emotional because up until then, I was only out to friends or co-workers. Family was a whole different experience. Through the years my Catholic family has said awful, derogatory things towards gay people. Another sibling of mine even mentioned that she would not allow a gay person around her kids. That was devastating to hear.
When we have get-togethers and the topic comes up, my close sister and I will argue until we’re blue in the face to try and get a positive response from them. It never happens. We don’t typically discuss our love lives, it’s almost like a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy throughout the family.

Now at 26, coming out entirely seems a little more possible everyday and I will continue to take baby steps. In the back of my mind, I believe my family is in some major denial and could possibly accept me. Then there’s that speck of doubt that scares me that I could lose them forever.

Without the great friends, Internet, or books I’m not sure what sort of direction my life would have gone. The resources we have readily available to us through the web are amazing and I too especially love the It Gets Better project!

[ruby_woo]

I thought I'd come by and say hi as an under-30 femme. Ok, I'll be 30 in July, but still...

I've known I was queer since I was about 14-15, when I met my first boyish-girl in high school. Before that, I did have occasional crushes on guys, but didn't date much.

I had my first girlfriend when I was 16 (thanks AOL chat!), have been out since I was 17, and have ID as femme since I was 19. I was lucky because despite growing up in a Christian household in the Midwest, I had a supportive family, and a close family friend of ours came out as gay in mid 90's, so I thank him for breaking that ice for me.

I remember being 19 and coming out as femme, and basically feeling like a giant dork because it seemed like everyone had their business figured out already, and I was like "...help?" I would get crushes on butches who were 3 times my age and viewed me as a little sister, lol. The best thing I did was make friends with the older femmes who could help me along my journey. Having your girls is so important.

And much love for It Gets Better! <3

[Red-Dragon]

i've been reading forums and this one looks interesting and i dont reply to alot cause i dont know how havent been on one of these been refered to by my bud she told me about this site. so this is how i came out...

I'm 21 and i've been out since i was 12 well only been out to my dad. i've had a feeling i knew since i was young i liked girls mainly cause i have 5 brothers so i've been raised by them been did everything boys would do pick on girls roll down hills in garbage cans race bikes fist fight with each other wrestle camp fish etc and even taught how to treat women etc even dressed as a boy. (even though it ticked off my mom). I didnt understand it at first so i looked into it and figured it out pretty quick. i remember having a major crush on my best friend growing up when my dad died my mom went bonkers after he told her i was lesbian.
I was told it was a sin etc but it just went in one ear out the other cause my dad and my brothers told me to follow my heart and its lead me to liking girls. i had my first girlfriend in 8th grade but she wasnt out and her parents didnt like me cause they caught me kissing her -.- wasnt a fun day. i moved to the states and had girlfriends but i figured out that my mum didnt like it so once i turned 18 i moved back to canada and there isnt much of a population that i can see here where i live. its mainly cause i'm quiet and keep to myself so thats probably why i dont see much but i do know there are gay bars and everything.
My guy friends say i'm the best brother they could have cause i give them advice game etc till this day my mom still hates it that i'm lesbian and she keeps pushing guys on me half a country away. Even though i've have been in many fights with a few family members on them not wanting me around cause i'm lesbian i dont care cause i like girls and nothing can change that.
well i hope i got it right on posting on a forum lol but thats my story.

[GraceNotes]

When I was in the 8th grade me and my friend were really obsessed with Sailor Moon and mostly with the Sailor Neptune and Sailor Uranus pairing because they were such a cute b/f couple (though the english version called them cousins) and It hadn't clicked for me yet that I was even a lesbian because honestly I was still playing with dolls at age 13 so that stuff wasn't even in my mind at all, but I'd have to say the Sailor Neptune was my femme role model.
For some reason my high school had a lot of lesbians and b/f pairings were the norm. At one point it finally clicked that I was a lesbian and I like butches. I came out at 15 and had my first girlfriend and I've always dated butches since.
on a side note my best friend from back in 8th grade grew up to identify as butch so i guess that was the reason at we so obsessed with that show and the characters.

[1ladyface]

Hi All! I'm a 26 y/o queer femme. I came out my first year of college. I had assumed I was asexual, until I saw the womens basketball team. It was my first exposure to female bodied masculinity in my own age range. swoooooon.

I've only ever been in butch femme relationships and I'm not even a little bit interested in a relationship that doesn't have that dynamic.

Anyway, enough of me. I look forward to continuing to get to know you all!