For those who self-injurer

[Leigh]

You have new friends here Lique, and we understand what your going through

[Andrew, Jr.]

I am going to see my friend at my nieces shower next week (as long as it doesn't snow). It will be interesting to see how far along she has come with her disease. I have to say I am a bit nervous. I am not sure of what to say, but will try to make an effort.

[Apocalipstic]

How crazy is it that until the past few months, I had no idea that pulling my eyelashes out or hitting myself in the head was bad.

When I was a kid, I used to shock myself on purpose and I do get that electric shock can be bad, but it actually never occurred to me that pulling out my eyelashes meant something....that slamming the phone into my head over and over might hurt me. Or that rocking and hitting my head on the wall over and over might mean I had something going on.

I never told any of my therapists or psychiatrists until I started Brain Spotting Therapy maybe 3 months ago, now it seems more clear.

Best to all of you!

I wish for each of you friends who stand by you no matter what! I have to say that I am very very lucky in that regard. No, I have not told them all, but those who do know seem supportive and those who don't are aware that I have meltdowns and disappear from time to time. Those who do not understand, I don't hang with any more.

[Dragonfly]

I want to open up and share my experiences here. I know its hard enough to finally publically post myself in solidarity. I just want to stop being afraid of being shunned again.

The worst thing about being "caught" my freshman year was how everyone in school found out why I was hospitalized by a unimformed big mouthed teacher. My "suicide attempt" it was called was misunderstood back in 1990. I was a cutter. I self injured in a multitude of ways, including starvation (anorexia) It was difficult to treat me when they couldn't understand why I was telling them I wasn't attempting to die. Not that I wasn't inheriently suicidal too... It wasn't the treatment that I was most harmed by, they were helpful and got me started towards handling my ptsd and the basic groundwork. It was my peers, my community, the people who had once secretly shared similar feelings/experiences that seemed to avoid me publically in a group shunning. Them also in fear of "standing in solidarity" and being shunned themselves. I wasn't the only one who had pain and traumas and standing alone when my private pain was made public was even more painful.

Just wanted to say I am standing with you guys and facing my fears.

[Andrew, Jr.]

I saw my friend. She has been in rehab. for drug addiction. It is really ashame. It is like she goes from one extreme to another. Her arms were covered. And she wore a turtleneck top. I really was uptight, and wasn't sure of what to do or say. She was really good at talking, but it was just small talk. Her husband was a nice guy, but somewhat of a geek. He didn't seem to be much on the ball. I think she married him to just be married.

[Dragonfly]

16 years blown to hell... I let myself down and I feel like I let everyone else down... especially my daughter though she doesn't even know it. I told myself to try and distract myself til it passes.... and what I really did was try to escape dealing with it... shoving it all up on a shelf in my closet... causing it to all come crashing down on me. When I started zoning out and practically obsessing about how badly I wanted to find relief.... or focus... or to just feel something but numbness... I should have done more than stick a post in this thread thinking I was somehow going to be able to trudge through this time like I have done for 16 years. But there is just so much going on at once. It's a mistake to expect too much from myself... and I think having a supportive friend or councelor would have been better than trying to always handle these feelings secretly all alone. As if I am ashamed. Made me realize that the embarrassment can actually separate someone in need from finding or hanging onto the help that is available. It is priceless to find support online but I am now reminded that it is only useful as a supplement to real world support, councelors with a treatment plan etc... Don't be like me and try to trick yourself into procrastinating seeking real world professional support. I thought "how much worse could it get" and then I got an answer of reality slapping me in the face. And I wasn't prepared for it so I stumbled.

Be back to post some links...