Long Distance - How do you cope?

[Ciaran]

Originally Posted by Sachita

If you need to be private, say nothing, don't invent lies. I believe in being forthright and honest at the start of any relationship. I don't need to invent BS to make myself look good in someones eyes. If they can't accept the real me then I'm not going to invest my precious time. Its that simple.

I've often tried to tell women online that I'm a successful gigolo to rich, wealthy women. Unfortunately, they tend not to believe me for some reason.

Originally Posted by Sachita

I am still open to a LDR if they make the time to meet face to face within a reasonable time, they are forthright and not hiding a lot of shit. I will not continue a lengthy online/phone thing beyond 3 months. After I will expect both of us to travel often and carefully get a glimpse into each others lives- our friends, families, etc. this is important to me. After a year I would expect us to begin to make some decisions on being in the same state.

I agree with the sentiments above. To me, it can be a LD-something but not a LDR (i.e. relationship) until there has been some real-time, face-to-face contact. Obviously, you don't get to know an awful lot about someone from a initial day or few days in their real-time company but you get to find out an awful lot more about them, and whether there's potentially something there or not, than in months of texting and skype and so on.

I think electronic communication is good at continuing or maintaining a relationship but wouldn't be my preferred means of starting one. I never know who I'm talking to if I only know them online - okay, I might totally trust them so I know their occupation, their interests, where they live, their family etc.

But, I cannot really know who they are without real-time, face-to-face interaction. I need to look them in the eyes.

I agree with your one year point above also - whether it's six months or a year or whatever, at some stage, both parties need to realistically consider how the relationship can move from long distance to closer and, if not, to be honest and open about the reality and the options - which are to make hard choices or to drift.