Long Distance Relationships

BestButchBoy · 09-28-2013, 06:27 AM

The only way to get to know someone is spend time with them in real time in real life. If you cannot afford to see one another on a regular and continual basis, OR, if neither of you can or will move to a location where you can actually spend time together to get to know one another; YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME. These are facts. Indisputable. Facts.

Miss Scarlett · 09-28-2013, 09:00 AM

There are 3 "T"s and 1 "C" and 1 "R" important to every relationship whether they are LDR or not...

TIME - rushing things is seldom a good idea and rarely, if ever, does it set a firm cornerstone. You absolutely must take the time to get to know each other...life isn't like the movies.

TRUTH - always be truthful. Never tell someone what they want to hear or what you think they want to hear. When there is distance between you it's easy to fall into this. And so easy to believe you can say one thing while doing the opposite...after all, who's going to know? (BTW, this isn't unique to LDRs either...I actually had this happen to me about a bazillion years ago while the person was living under my roof!)

TRUST - You have to be able to trust each other. Once trust is broken it's extremely difficult, if not impossible, to repair.

COMMUNICATION - a must in every relationship. In LDRs it is especially important because that's really the only time you have together when you are apart. I don't mean this has to be constant, it just has to be consistent. No matter how busy someone is it only takes a second to send a text or an email or even a quick phone call. Even sending a card via snail mail works.

RESPECT - respect each other, respect yourselves.

Kätzchen · 11-24-2018, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BestButchBoy

The only way to get to know someone is spend time with them in real time in real life. If you cannot afford to see one another on a regular and continual basis, OR, if neither of you can or will move to a location where you can actually spend time together to get to know one another; YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME. These are facts. Indisputable. Facts.

My favorite post in this thread, and I heartily agree with BBB.

Cheers,

Vincent · 11-24-2018, 04:28 PM

Thats true,I actually met my ex in real life after 3 weeks,to see if it was really there,I paid for her to come here.

But I'm not looking for the white picket fence,not any more.

And Ive had to be honest about that for me,I love being alone,I dont get lonely,I would like to meet someone who feels the same,is happy in their life,but would like a bit of fun.

Ive also never gone from one partner to another,ive been single now for 5 yrs,I also always keep online platonic until we actually meet,so we can still be friends and enjoy the time together.

unfortunatly,I am in a very small drop in the community,so online is my only dating avenue,but I wont be dishonest in regards to what I can give.

Although this is life,I dont have a blueprint of outcomes.

JDeere · 02-15-2019, 11:14 PM

I am dwelling into the dating/relationship thing again.

This time she resides on the east coast and I am here going in between Texas and Oklahoma.

She wants to come visit, but I have no clue how I am going to ask my folks if she can visit, since my last ex left much to be desired with my folks.

Also my mom suffers from "Noone is good enough for my baby" syndrome and when ladies find this out, they run.

I am also working on trying to move out on my own but here in Texas it doesn't seem possible, it's way expensive and I know where I can get help in Oklahoma so I may move back up to Oklahoma.

kittygrrl · 02-16-2019, 02:41 PM

ldr is challenging at times but quintessentially gratifying if you share like minds..rare, it seems

JDeere · 02-16-2019, 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kittygrrl

ldr is challenging at times but quintessentially gratifying if you share like minds..rare, it seems

This is a good thing you spoke of, like minds really helps and if you're on the same page as each other about boundaries, etc ldr might not be too hard.

Vincent · 02-16-2019, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JDeere

This is a good thing you spoke of, like minds really helps and if you're on the same page as each other about boundaries, etc ldr might not be too hard.

I like long distance
Plus Australians are boring,hence me being a yankofile

11-24-2018, 04:28 PM	#4
Vincent Member How Do You Identify?: Transman Preferred Pronoun?: Him,he Relationship Status: just me Join Date: Apr 2015 Location: Tweed Heads Australia Posts: 427 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,205 Thanked 936 Times in 335 Posts Rep Power: 12178444	Thats true,I actually met my ex in real life after 3 weeks,to see if it was really there,I paid for her to come here. But I'm not looking for the white picket fence,not any more. And Ive had to be honest about that for me,I love being alone,I dont get lonely,I would like to meet someone who feels the same,is happy in their life,but would like a bit of fun. Ive also never gone from one partner to another,ive been single now for 5 yrs,I also always keep online platonic until we actually meet,so we can still be friends and enjoy the time together. unfortunatly,I am in a very small drop in the community,so online is my only dating avenue,but I wont be dishonest in regards to what I can give. Although this is life,I dont have a blueprint of outcomes. __________________ https://soundcloud.com/conormont https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kb1y2xyfYSw If Not Me-Who If Not Now-When If Not Here-Where

02-16-2019, 02:41 PM	#6
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: witchy Preferred Pronoun?: Fae Relationship Status: just for fun Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: near the wild mushrooms Posts: 9,446 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,634 Thanked 22,019 Times in 7,121 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	ldr is challenging at times but quintessentially gratifying if you share like minds..rare, it seems __________________ "We're nine meals from anarchy"" Lewis

09-28-2013, 06:27 AM	#1
BestButchBoy Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Male ID Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 3,925 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 406 Thanked 5,438 Times in 2,037 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	The only way to get to know someone is spend time with them in real time in real life. If you cannot afford to see one another on a regular and continual basis, OR, if neither of you can or will move to a location where you can actually spend time together to get to know one another; YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME. These are facts. Indisputable. Facts.

09-28-2013, 09:00 AM	#2
Miss Scarlett Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: . Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: . Posts: 5,530 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,478 Thanked 12,947 Times in 3,419 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	There are 3 "T"s and 1 "C" and 1 "R" important to every relationship whether they are LDR or not... TIME - rushing things is seldom a good idea and rarely, if ever, does it set a firm cornerstone. You absolutely must take the time to get to know each other...life isn't like the movies. TRUTH - always be truthful. Never tell someone what they want to hear or what you think they want to hear. When there is distance between you it's easy to fall into this. And so easy to believe you can say one thing while doing the opposite...after all, who's going to know? (BTW, this isn't unique to LDRs either...I actually had this happen to me about a bazillion years ago while the person was living under my roof!) TRUST - You have to be able to trust each other. Once trust is broken it's extremely difficult, if not impossible, to repair. COMMUNICATION - a must in every relationship. In LDRs it is especially important because that's really the only time you have together when you are apart. I don't mean this has to be constant, it just has to be consistent. No matter how busy someone is it only takes a second to send a text or an email or even a quick phone call. Even sending a card via snail mail works. RESPECT - respect each other, respect yourselves.

02-15-2019, 11:14 PM	#5
JDeere Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He/him/his Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 17,752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,018 Thanked 28,833 Times in 9,708 Posts Rep Power: 21474865	I am dwelling into the dating/relationship thing again. This time she resides on the east coast and I am here going in between Texas and Oklahoma. She wants to come visit, but I have no clue how I am going to ask my folks if she can visit, since my last ex left much to be desired with my folks. Also my mom suffers from "Noone is good enough for my baby" syndrome and when ladies find this out, they run. I am also working on trying to move out on my own but here in Texas it doesn't seem possible, it's way expensive and I know where I can get help in Oklahoma so I may move back up to Oklahoma.