Help me write this - discussion of gender dynamics in lesbian community

[Ginger]

Originally Posted by Dance-with-me

There is a fairly large local lesbian "meetup" group that seems to be mostly what I refer to as "generic" lesbians - women who are somewhere in the middle in terms of their gender presentation, who tend towards androgynous/butch and are attracted to those who are more like themselves instead of being attracted to their opposites. This group includes a few women who I know are butch-phobic (though they look somewhat butch themselves) or who are vocal about that the just don't get why "someone wants to act like a man, or wants a woman who acts like a man."

This group regularly have topic discussion meetups and I'd like to plan one around the discussion of gender dynamics in the lesbian community, including the roots of the anti-butch sentiment (especially among the "sporty lesbian" community), and.... what else? How could I describe this in a way that makes it clear that it's not just for butch/femme women, and that it's to discuss and not defend (or trash) those on the butch/femme edges of the gender spectrum?

I'm terrible at writing things like this because I always use 500 words when 50 are needed. Anyone able to help?

And yes, while part of why I'd do this is to open up this discussion and make it ok to self-identify as butch or femme within this community, another part is that I hope that other butches and femmes will attend!

Hi, Dance-With-Me. It might be too late to respond to your post (I see it's a year old), but what I'm hearing is that you feel alone in this group, and not only that, you feel that your self-expression is misunderstood.

I wonder how it has gone with you, being in this group for a while now (if you're still in it).

I've felt exactly the same way, in Meetup groups. But I don't feel inhibited about my identity. If someone has a problem with the kind of women I'm attracted to (butch), I don't care.

Meetup groups that are centered around a shared interest might be a better place to connect. But I've always found that groups centered on sexual preference or identity don't yield a lot of potential friends for me.

I imagine straight people getting together because they share being straight, and the collection of people it would attract. What are the odds of friendships forming?

I'm sure my logic is really flawed here. Just bottom line, I'm saying I relate to how you're feeling, except I would never try to educate people. I'm just myself and anyone who can handle that is welcome to hang around and talk.

Scout

[TruTexan]

Dancewithme, did you ever approach the subject matter at hand in r/t? I am curious since we haven't heard back from you about it????

[DapperButch]

My girlfriend is good friends with Dance-With-Me. I believe she ended up giving up on this.

Now she is engaged and planning her wedding, so I think new friends are no longer a high priority.

I don't think she comes to the site much anymore, so I figured I would answer you guys.