only another butch would understand

[Unndunn]

Originally Posted by Daywalker

I believe in the theory that the hard stuff must be brought forth in order to
gain a better perspective n what have you. I read a lot. I may not jump
in to some conversations, because frankly some of them get over wrought
with bullshit back n forths that are more personal; than those that are
actually addressing the main Topic at hand. I am also one who tends
to care about the words that I use, and how all folks might interpret them.
And I never post my words as if I am right and everyone else who doesn't
agree just 'doesn't get it...so they are wrong'. I will not speak from a clouded
point of frustration, because when I read folks who do just that thing...I cannot
get past their disposition far enough to decipher what it is they are really
trying to say. Heated discussions are great, so long as the Topic does not
get clouded over in a circus of demeanor's that resemble hecklers with no
meaning, only destructive motives and divisiveness. There really is a way
to discuss the Hard Stuff without being fucked up to one side of the
conversationalists, and only defending those who agree with me.

To Me

Addressing anything Butch Femme related, includes the Voices of Past,
Present AND Future Butches of our Community. No one should feel left
out of a conversation (or the target of) over such things as pronouns,
which is just a preference as to how we have chosen to be addressed
within the Community. And yes, our commonalities are indeed more
significant than our differences.

I put the part that resonated the most to me in blue. To me there's a huge difference between doing the hard work and attacking others to make your own voice heard. I find myself on the sidelines more and more because I see some of the same people who claim to be "doing the work" and "having the difficult conversations" being the ones who make the conversations more difficult than they need to be. I can't respect anyone who doesn't care about all of us as individuals. I can't respect someone who thinks it's okay to attack and rip people apart just because they don't agree. I won't respect anyone who acts as if their "message" is more important than civility and community. I'm just getting too old and too tired to want to be around anyone that enjoys the act of arguing more than the resolution of differences and miscommunications.