Something horrible just happened

[anaisninja]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

Hey, I just wanted to point out something that important. This IS NOT a safe space. Your ideas, beliefs and understandings will be challenged. People can be upsetting and challenging and occasionally offensive. I know I'm offensive. I'm pretty ok with that. I don't have any intention to offend, but there are too many cultural differences around for me to care take to peoples differing ideas about what constitutes offense. Plus I just spent 10 years in London where offense is just considered something shruggable or you engage with the person to come to an understanding. Or you tell them to fack off. Lol

But this is not a safe space. This is public internet. This is readable by the public. And anyone may respond.

Also, just as a word to the wise, I've been out in kink for 18 years (longer if you count the straight kink) I'm a sub (with history of being a domme and being a pro-domme) I personally would not trust any volunteer to keep me safe and sound. My safety is my responsibility, full stop. That means understanding my environment, understanding my agreements and understanding the risks I am taking. And there are *always* risks! even if there is a dungeon mistress scouting the joint.

However, I personally did not learn that till things Went Horribly Wrong because I wanted, very badly, to trust people and to put my responsibility into other peoples hands.

I know you probably won't understand it just yet, but at some point you will. I think this is This is what words was talking about. That's all.

I get that this is the internet. I get that there are people who will express their opinions on what I post, including opinions that read as condescending, judgmental, and shaming. People are free to do that on a public forum.

I am also free to set limits and to stand up for myself. The insinuation that, because I participate in the local sex positive culture, it somehow impairs my judgment when it comes to dating, is in my opinion, part of the problem with the patriarchy and not part of the solution.

As I said before, those involved with the CSPC emphasize individual agency, boundaries, self determination, after care and informed consent. The CSPC has and enforces a strict no-means-no policy. I don't know how else to say it. Here is a link to their site: http://thecspc.org/about-us. It has been around for 15 years. I doubt it would still exist if they allowed scenes to get out of hand and people to get injured mentally or physically.

I would ask that folks make an effort to learn more about the CSPC before passing judgment on it and its members.

[Words]

Originally Posted by anaisninja

The insinuation that, because I participate in the local sex positive culture, it somehow impairs my judgment when it comes to dating, is in my opinion, part of the problem with the patriarchy and not part of the solution.

Okay, since it's forbidden to post quotes from private messages or other threads, then I'm not really in a position to prove that what you're trying to do here is absolute bullshit. I am however going to make sure that one of the mods reads my message to you AND your response. Just saying.

Words

[nycfem]

MODERATION

From this point forward, please no more references to private messages or posts from other threads, and any 1:1 personal conflict should not be played out on the thread. Please also review and reflect on the "Intolerance" section of the TOS before posting.

[imperfect_cupcake]

You aren't getting what I'm saying. I know about the cspc. I know of many different BDSM community learning and play spaces for women and gender queer. I volunteered for some.
I'm going to stop because I don't thing you are going to get what my intension or information is. One day you will.