09-10-2014, 11:23 AM | #21 |
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Thank you for your thorough response honeybarbara! I hope others chime in as well.
For me, if I don't know where I stand in a relationship, I can't be fully invested. I'm fine with casual sex, friends with benefits, dating, etcetera. As long as I am aware of the expectations, I can decide whether I am a willing participant. The fact that I don't currently have a primary relationship doesn't mean I am not poly, it just means no current relationship has gotten there (yet). Being in a monogamous relationship doesn't mean I am poly either, it just means I am not in a poly relationship at that time. The person who got my train of thought moving suggested that if I wasn't having sex with someone, they were a "friend" and I disagreed. They also suggested that if I wasn't a "family" with those involved, it was an open relationship not poly. For me, relationships don't form spontaneously. It takes time to decide whether a connection is there and what that connection means. I believe you can have a romantic relationship without sex and that you can love more than one person (romantically) without being "in love" with them. I also believe you can have sex with someone who you aren't in love with (which I sometimes prefer). I don't think sexual practices determine whether or not you are poly. For now, I think I will label myself "open poly whore" to cover all the bases. |
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