Poly Relationships

[Tommi]

Originally Posted by SleepyButch

So here I am. I'm reluctant to write in here because I'm somewhat naive when it comes to the subject but I'm going to give it a go.

What's my story in all of this? That's a good question actually...I keep asking myself the same thing. I've always been open minded when it comes to people and their preferences. I've learned a lot along the way because of this, about myself and about others.

Like others have said, I've toyed with the idea of being poly for years, even went out with a poly woman once upon a time until her Butch told her she could not longer date me. She would not tell me why.

Which brings me to this new chapter in my life. I am currently dating/getting to know a femme who is poly. I went into this knowing that she was poly and that I would not ever be her primary relationship. She knows that I don't have any experience with this type of dynamic but that I am open to exploring this with her. I am not sure if this will ultimately be good for me or not but I won't know unless I try.

What I can say is that we really get along and I can also say that I have not felt this comfortable with someone in a long time. We communicate daily about the good and the things that I am unsure about, those things that are new to me.

I do have my concerns for myself in all of this with regards to finding a primary relationship. I have always been the what if kind of guy... what if I can't find another femme who is poly, or open to my continuing to see this other person? I am not sure I'd want to give her up for someone else.

I do know that while having this relationship with her is wonderful, it will not be enough for me.

This may be a question that can't be answered but regardless my question for all of you is how do you find that other person who is poly??

Hi SleepyButch, hope you are sleeping well

Many times alternate life styles have their own language, definitions and boundaries within the "open" realm of variety being the spice of life.I love the Unique, mysterious, fluid dynamics of life, and those that can reach out and experience things that bring joy and happiness, even if for just a moment, a night and day, or more.

I pulled out the "what if I can't find another femme who is poly, or open to my continuing to see this other person? I am not sure I'd want to give her up for someone else.
and
how do you find that other person who is poly? " from your post.

Poly sometimes may be confused with multiples. I was wondering if your question is ~ will 2 poly femmes equal a more fulfilling relationship, when and if one of them is not present. Am I wingwalking, needing to hold onto one, while I have another for ~just in case?
Does your poly/femme "other/s" know about you, have they met you and have accepted you? Having your heart on your sleeve my result in a crinkled cuff. You said "give her up" , but, me thinks she has a primary, so you have no possession.

My comment for now, like nycfembbw mentioned, like anything new, searching the internet for what you are experiencing as far as acceptance, understanding, jealousy, insecurity, and the myriad of things under any "kinky" label can be heaven or hell...

And, as They say, it's only kinky the first time. Good Luck SleepyButch, jump in, the water's fine, as long as we can swim.

[SleepyButch]

Originally Posted by Tommi

Hi SleepyButch, hope you are sleeping well



Poly sometimes may be confused with multiples. I was wondering if your question is ~ will 2 poly femmes will equal a more fulfilling relationship, when and if one of them is not present. ?
Does your poly/femme "other/s" know about you, have they met you and have accepted you? Having your heart on your sleeve my result in a crinkled cuff. You said "give her up" , but, me thinks she has a primary, so you have no possession.

My comment for now, like nycfembbw mentioned, like anything new, searching the internet for what you are experiencing as far as acceptance, understanding, jealousy, insecurity, and the myriad of things under any "kinky" label can be heaven or hell...

And, as They say, it's only kinky the first time. Good Luck SleepyButch, jump in, the water's fine, as long as we can swim.

Thanks Tommi.

Her others know about me and are supportive of her seeing me.

When I say give her up, I mean in a sense of not seeing her anymore in exchange for dating someone who is monogamous. I do not own her nor will I ever try to own her. It's not that type of relationship.

As far as having two poly femmes equalling a more fulfilling relationship, I don't think that is the case. I would take them as being totally separate relationship. It's not that I want someone to spend time with while she is busy. That would not work for anyone involved. I am a loving, nurturing person by nature and have a lot of that to give and want to give it. I can share that with her but there are limitations/boundaries in that.

I'll have to think more on how to explain that before I write something that might be taken out of context. Like I said, this is all new to me.

[Sachita]

Originally Posted by SleepyButch

Thanks Tommi.

Her others know about me and are supportive of her seeing me.

When I say give her up, I mean in a sense of not seeing her anymore in exchange for dating someone who is monogamous. I do not own her nor will I ever try to own her. It's not that type of relationship.

As far as having two poly femmes equalling a more fulfilling relationship, I don't think that is the case. I would take them as being totally separate relationship. It's not that I want someone to spend time with while she is busy. That would not work for anyone involved. I am a loving, nurturing person by nature and have a lot of that to give and want to give it. I can share that with her but there are limitations/boundaries in that.

I'll have to think more on how to explain that before I write something that might be taken out of context. Like I said, this is all new to me.

I know what you're saying. It goes back and forth in my head and I have been in D/s poly relationships. Today I would consider it but the reality is that once I fall in love it most likely will be totally and completely. Poly would not be an option. But until that comes I can love people, share, have a great time and who knows it may go on forever, however something inside of me stirs and I know that I am yet to meet my one great love. I just feel it and I know when I do I won't see anything else.

Thanks for sharing and being so honest.