FTM place to vent and talk

[ahk]

I am in the midst of scheduling my top surgery and I sound like a bleeping idiot on the phone-- its like, I am super excited but super nervous that I am finally here at this point of my life.

If you have already had Top Surgery, what kind of things would you recommend (healing, preparing)? What kind of questions did you all ask? Who did you go to, and why?

If you haven't had surgery yet - do you plan on sometime in future? Who do you want to go to, and why?

Not sure where everyone is located, but if you are in the East coast area, I hope you all are safe, keeping warm -- and know we are thinking of all of you.

Best,

[Linus]

Originally Posted by ahk

I am in the midst of scheduling my top surgery and I sound like a bleeping idiot on the phone-- its like, I am super excited but super nervous that I am finally here at this point of my life.

If you have already had Top Surgery, what kind of things would you recommend (healing, preparing)? What kind of questions did you all ask? Who did you go to, and why?

If you haven't had surgery yet - do you plan on sometime in future? Who do you want to go to, and why?

Not sure where everyone is located, but if you are in the East coast area, I hope you all are safe, keeping warm -- and know we are thinking of all of you.

Best,

You're recovery may depend on the kind of surgery you are getting. Is it keyhole or double mastectomy?

To ask:

Get the doc to explain exactly how they are going to do the surgery.

Ask them what they recommend for recovery.

When do they want to see you after surgery? (24 hours? 48 hours?)

What are you allowed to eat before surgery? What are ok to eat 24-48 hours after surgery? a week after? and so on...

How often to change the dressing?

If double, things to consider for recovery:

Ensure you have help for the first week or two. And a good LazyBoy or similar recliner chair.

Have nothing to do for the first couple of days (I slept lots for the first couple of days). For the first couple of weeks, ensure that anything you need (say, food, water, etc.) is reachable at waist level (no lifting of items from ground and no raising of arms).

If you have dogs, ensure someone else can walk them. If they are the excitable type, you may need that person to **REALLY** wear them out so they don't jump on you.

Ensure the doc provides you with enough bandages and surgical tape. And change them according to what she/he recommends.

If you smoke, DON'T. I enjoy cigars now and again but avoided them for about two months or thereabouts to ensure healing was done without coughing.

[ahk]

Originally Posted by Linus

You're recovery may depend on the kind of surgery you are getting. Is it keyhole or double mastectomy?

To ask:

Get the doc to explain exactly how they are going to do the surgery.

Ask them what they recommend for recovery.

When do they want to see you after surgery? (24 hours? 48 hours?)

What are you allowed to eat before surgery? What are ok to eat 24-48 hours after surgery? a week after? and so on...

How often to change the dressing?

If double, things to consider for recovery:

Ensure you have help for the first week or two. And a good LazyBoy or similar recliner chair.

Have nothing to do for the first couple of days (I slept lots for the first couple of days). For the first couple of weeks, ensure that anything you need (say, food, water, etc.) is reachable at waist level (no lifting of items from ground and no raising of arms).

If you have dogs, ensure someone else can walk them. If they are the excitable type, you may need that person to **REALLY** wear them out so they don't jump on you.

Ensure the doc provides you with enough bandages and surgical tape. And change them according to what she/he recommends.

If you smoke, DON'T. I enjoy cigars now and again but avoided them for about two months or thereabouts to ensure healing was done without coughing.

Linus-

Thanks for answering so quickly-- I believe I will getting the double mastectomy (a lot larger than a key hole, for sure). I don't smoke, so I'm good there too--

I never thought about the eating thing-- thank you for suggesting.

[Sun]

Hi Guys

I could really benefit from a place to connect with other transguys too. Good idea for a thread. I love my community but sometimes feel isolated especially at times of great changes in my life.

Greyson brother, it is really hard to deal with ignorance and no one has the right to tell you or your gf what is or what is not real. Only love is real. I am very much a believer in A Course in Miracles philosophy that only love is real and this distance that humans create with each other is some illusion of the ego.

The most beautiful thing that I have ever experienced on this planet in this lifetime is loving someone. No one can take any part of that away from me. That is my Church, there is my worship experience. With her I found my heaven.

One of the teachers that I look to is Don Miguel Ruiz and The Four Agreements. Agreement #2: Take Nothing Personally...is the hardest for me but I am working on this. It is not about you, it is about them. How sad for them.

I will be back to write more when I have more time but just wanted to stop by and say hello.

Sun

[DMW]

Beautiful Post Sun,

I love the 4 agreements....got it on me always...now, i gotta keep to em better...Long day at work for this guy.
Glad you are here.
DMW

Originally Posted by Sun

Hi Guys

I could really benefit from a place to connect with other transguys too. Good idea for a thread. I love my community but sometimes feel isolated especially at times of great changes in my life.

Greyson brother, it is really hard to deal with ignorance and no one has the right to tell you or your gf what is or what is not real. Only love is real. I am very much a believer in A Course in Miracles philosophy that only love is real and this distance that humans create with each other is some illusion of the ego.

The most beautiful thing that I have ever experienced on this planet in this lifetime is loving someone. No one can take any part of that away from me. That is my Church, there is my worship experience. With her I found my heaven.

One of the teachers that I look to is Don Miguel Ruiz and The Four Agreements. Agreement #2: Take Nothing Personally...is the hardest for me but I am working on this. It is not about you, it is about them. How sad for them.

I will be back to write more when I have more time but just wanted to stop by and say hello.

Sun

[Hominid]

- Button up shirts - very hard (and bad for later scarring) to reach over your head

- you will get a list before surgery of things the doc wants you to do or not. I would ASK for a prescription for Zofran - just in case you get nauseous either from being post op, the trauma of it all, or the pain killers.

-Start taking metamucil or one of the other fiber drinks ASAP when you return. You will get constipated from the pain medicine, and that's no fun. When you are up and about, WALK - it keeps your intestines moving, is good for circulation, etc. No hiking up hills, just strolls.

- If you can recruit someone to be with you, pre-op, post-op, as much as possible, do.

-TAKE your pain medicine. You need it not just for pain, but also to rest your body. Do NOT wait until you are in pain the first day or so - just take it and sleep. After that, do not wait too long when the pain begins to take it. I'm not suggesting there's a lot of pain, most guys say there is not.

- Be sure and wear the compression shirt or ace bandage or whatever they suggest/provide. Actually, if they suggest an ace bandage, get a compression shirt (you can google it, I can't remember the people who make the more popular one). Get two, one to wear while you wash the other. They are very helpful in telling you which size to order. Keep it on, especially the first few days post-op - It will help prevent any hematomas, help the nipples to adhere, hold the incision areas close together for better healing. The longer you wear it, the better.

- Do NOT hesitate to call your surgeon at any time you have a concern. They work for YOU; you paid good money, and there is always someone covering or on call to address a concern.

Congrats!

Originally Posted by ahk

I am in the midst of scheduling my top surgery and I sound like a bleeping idiot on the phone-- its like, I am super excited but super nervous that I am finally here at this point of my life.

If you have already had Top Surgery, what kind of things would you recommend (healing, preparing)? What kind of questions did you all ask? Who did you go to, and why?

If you haven't had surgery yet - do you plan on sometime in future? Who do you want to go to, and why?

Not sure where everyone is located, but if you are in the East coast area, I hope you all are safe, keeping warm -- and know we are thinking of all of you.

Best,

[DMW]

Originally Posted by Hominid

- Button up shirts - very hard (and bad for later scarring) to reach over your head

- you will get a list before surgery of things the doc wants you to do or not. I would ASK for a prescription for Zofran - just in case you get nauseous either from being post op, the trauma of it all, or the pain killers.

-Start taking metamucil or one of the other fiber drinks ASAP when you return. You will get constipated from the pain medicine, and that's no fun. When you are up and about, WALK - it keeps your intestines moving, is good for circulation, etc. No hiking up hills, just strolls.

- If you can recruit someone to be with you, pre-op, post-op, as much as possible, do.

-TAKE your pain medicine. You need it not just for pain, but also to rest your body. Do NOT wait until you are in pain the first day or so - just take it and sleep. After that, do not wait too long when the pain begins to take it. I'm not suggesting there's a lot of pain, most guys say there is not.

- Be sure and wear the compression shirt or ace bandage or whatever they suggest/provide. Actually, if they suggest an ace bandage, get a compression shirt (you can google it, I can't remember the people who make the more popular one). Get two, one to wear while you wash the other. They are very helpful in telling you which size to order. Keep it on, especially the first few days post-op - It will help prevent any hematomas, help the nipples to adhere, hold the incision areas close together for better healing. The longer you wear it, the better.

- Do NOT hesitate to call your surgeon at any time you have a concern. They work for YOU; you paid good money, and there is always someone covering or on call to address a concern.

Congrats!

Great post Hominid...I don't think you left out any of the most pertinent points. Thanks for sharing. Good advice. I concur.

And Congratulations Ahk! And it is true...it isn't that painful...and it doesn't last for long either.

Do follow Hominid's advice...those suggestions are all very important.

[DMW]

I thought the BMV _ DMV was going to need my DNA and finger prints inorder for me to get a legal picture id...which i have to have here... in order to vote in this state...
"mr...*****there is someone else who has your soc. sec. #...you need to
call them and tell them....that was last week...fixed that...
Nope not them....it is your system...
Oh fun times....
registered a few months ago....cause i just moved here...
Hours and days at the license branch and plenty of paperwork and legal evidence of everything...
I am not the only one either...fuck if they were going to stop me...i was going to go to the news and make a stink just to let people know what the hell goes on. I laughed with my friend and thought...you know i have an old id...and ugh...maybe i should just dress in drag and put on a wig and see what happens....fuck me...i didn't know...

Took me three times and hours to get my mofo driver's license...Fun times..first time
i ever failed a ? on the test also...got 3 wrong. had to scramble to get the test done
before they closed yesterday...had to go back and just about whip out my pecker to get it done.
FUCK....

I was to go canvas in ohio for tomorrow.. i work monday...isn't happening
now. But, i am definately going to canvas here and make phone calls here.


http://www.thedailybeast.com/article...er-voters.html

[DMW]

Morinin peeps.

Voting ...I am wondering if anyone else here has had trouble getting their
soc. sec. ..ID ..straight etc. inorder to vote? So weird.
The poor people looked at me so confused and asked why? Long story...

I was reading another thread,in the trans zone(trans appreciation),
and it got me thinking...and thinking of loss and being a transsexual.
I realize that I experienced personal loss too.
A part of myself...and i knew i would when i transitioned.
[ For me, i had to do this because i felt like a male ever since i can recall... my own identity of self.(ex. I cut my hair at 2 years old because someone said that my curly hair was cute. )
So, i know what was best for me.]

The personal loss was losing that female butch person i loved and had grown to become. I was proud of being a strong female butch. Just proud of who i was.
I didn't want people who knew me...acquaintances...family...friends...to think that i was transitioning because i was ashamed of who i was as a female butch...or that i was ashamed of being "gay". This is one aspect of transitioning that i struggled with Big Time.

My mother's voice is in my head..."but i had a girl...i gave birth to a girl"...i remember listening to her and sharing that loss with her. I had to console her.
It broke my heart. I could the pain in her eyes.
I understand...that is the loss that she experienced.
I had to explain to her that i was the same soul...the same person...
eventually, the more i shared
with her...the more she understood.

So, before transitioning...I had to make it very clear to people that i was not ashamed of who i was as a female butch, and that was NOT any reason as to why i felt the need to transition. In fact, i struggled with the very fact that (some people) would assume or did assume that. grrr.
So, i found myself needing and wanting to explain to the obtuse. That i was not transitioning
to be a man...because i look up to or want to aspire to be like all Men
in general. It just has to do with my internal identity. my mind...my knowledge of self and self awareness...an evolution and a freedom to be closer to who i am.

Coffee...

I highly recommend this book and pamplet...for transmen and their families.
[ame="http://www.amazon.com/Trans-Forming-Families-Stories-Transgendered/dp/0615123074"]http://www.amazon.com/Trans-Forming-Families-Stories-Transgendered/dp/0615123074[/ame]

http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_...5thedition.pdf