FTM place to vent and talk

[DMW]

Originally Posted by Hominid

Well ... yeah - I'm not really asking HOW to have sex ... just how to deal with the topic of "okay, I have to strap on to do that part" - although I'm quite sure she'll be happier with the things I'll do and the parts I'll pay attention to compared to most cis-guys, there's "that" part that I'm worried about.

To be blunt cause it is late...peruse as needed. Info for us.
http://lolajake.com/secure/

http://www.ftmguide.org/packinghard.html

Exactly, she already knows, also. So, just treat it like any other date.
But, the sooner she knows the better for the both of you.
That way she can deal with the idea in her head.
She will either like the idea or not. Deal or not deal. And then there is always feeling out the chemistry and deciding whether or not you want to even go
there with her yourself. You know. You Got this Man...but, tread lightly for
yourself. Once you go there...she may not stay away....wink

Originally Posted by Greyson

I am really tired of people telling my gf she is not really a Femme Lesbian because she is partnered with me. As if they are ordained the head honcho of "Identity." What ever a woman decides is her identity, it is not for me to say. Her identity is not dependent on how I see myself.

Yes, I have seen the things that happen to women that partner with someone like me. However for me, this is not all new. Some of the same stuff happened to my partners before I transitioned. My gender expression was never congruent with what was considered to be "normal."

For me, I have enough to figure out about the how and the why of it as to who I am


P.S. Although this thread would not be appropriate to do it in, I would like to hear from women who have dated Butches and FTMs. How varied was your experience? Were there similarities? Was it a completely different experience for you? Did your gender identity change? Did you experience invisiblity as a queer woman, femme, even more so then when you dated a self identified butch? Do you women have any concerns you would like for gender varient masculine people including FTMs, take into consideration when dating, partnering, and befriending you?

Greyson, that is so disturbing when people cannot either just get it...or accept that we are all different and or the same in various ways..
whatever anyone decides is their identity is theirs...agreed.
society will accept it or understand it or not.
accepting your girlfriends identity is all that matters for you
and i am sure that is done...try to understand her...that is all that is essential for the two of you.
Remember it isn't always a fine line... or couples don't come in perfect pairs of established (labels)...and the thing is...her identitiy is hers and yours is yours. period. Just keep being true to yourself.
you know? sorry it's late. Plus there isn't always a box or label to stuff oneself into...
we are all evolving if we are working.
I have to come back to this for sure.


I suggest you ...or we...start a new thread...seriously...one about FTM's and Femmes or whatever will answer some of your questions and help you and your girl...

I gotta check out.

Nite All

[Greyson]

Originally Posted by DMW

To be blunt cause it is late...peruse as needed. Info for us.
http://lolajake.com/secure/

http://www.ftmguide.org/packinghard.html

Exactly, she already knows, also. So, just treat it like any other date.
But, the sooner she knows the better for the both of you.
That way she can deal with the idea in her head.
She will either like the idea or not. Deal or not deal. And then there is always feeling out the chemistry and deciding whether or not you want to even go
there with her yourself. You know. You Got this Man...but, tread lightly for
yourself. Once you go there...she may not stay away....wink




Greyson, that is so disturbing when people cannot either just get it...or accept that we are all different and or the same in various ways..
whatever anyone decides is their identity is theirs...agreed.
society will accept it or understand it or not.
accepting your girlfriends identity is all that matters for you
and i am sure that is done...try to understand her...that is all that is essential for the two of you.
Remember it isn't always a fine line... or couples don't come in perfect pairs of established (labels)...and the thing is...her identitiy is hers and yours is yours. period. Just keep being true to yourself.
you know? sorry it's late. Plus there isn't always a box or label to stuff oneself into...
we are all evolving if we are working.
I have to come back to this for sure.


I suggest you ...or we...start a new thread...seriously...one about FTM's and Femmes or whatever will answer some of your questions and help you and your girl...

I gotta check out.
Nite All

Thanks DMW. Me and my gf our good and confident in our identity. I really am asking questions of femmes because I am curious as to their experience. Especially for women who have dated butches and FTMs and/or gone through a "transition" of gender with someone.

Also, I do think at times many of us (generalized us that includes FIBs, Butches, Trans Butches, and FTMs) including myself, give women partnered with us or not, lip service. Some of us do not really think about what they are saying and how things impact their lives.

Unless I/we are attracted to them in some romantic, sexual, or flirtatious way.

[DMW]

Originally Posted by Greyson

Also, I do think at times many of us (generalized us that includes FIBs, Butches, Trans Butches and FTMs) including myself, give women partnered with us or not, lip service. Some of us do not really think about what they are saying and how things impact their lives.

Agreed, I am guilty of that ...on this site... anyway.And in my life, in some setting, i am sure... i have offended people with my words. . It is so different online though. Context is everything as was pointed out. Thinking on this myself also. Just trying to be careful with what i say. Cause it is difficult to understand what specific wording would trigger whom....there are many really. Everyone of us has buttons or soft spots that trigger possibly trigger Us. and honestly...i have learned a lot from here already.
At the expense of other peoples feelings too. and i don't like that. That is
on me to understand and hear it and recognize what those words are ...etc.
Impossible for me to know all of the words that would trigger all of the people.
That is rediculous. But, many are good to be aware of.
For me ....it is to not react unkindly..if and when i get triggered.
Because it is not really that person's issue if I have a response. That would be my issue.